what do i do?!?
I dont know why I am so depressed today. But I'm definatley not myself. So many things have been running through my mind today, i cant even begin to sort them out. I know one of my biggest issues right now is with Lee though... He is really driving me nuts! I guess I am just frustrated with the situation we're in now. These are just a few things that are really getting to me right now...
1. I'm 21, with a kid and living at home. Lee is 27, no kids and living at home. I want to be independant and on my own soo bad, but it's hard to step out without having secure finances availible. Lee on the otherhand has lived at home all his life, and has shitloads of $ in the bank... and has NO intention of moving... ever? He does look at home magazines, but he is no where near ready to actually take tours and make plans for moving. He's WAY too comfortable there. His dad says the only way he leaves is if he kicks his ass out!
2. I buy my lunches everyday. Lee's mom makes him lunch...everyday!
3. Every weekend it's the same thing- We sit at home and watch movies...we change it up sometimes by goin to his house... but rarley do we have outside entertainment, just the movies. I'm not the type to sit at home everynight. My close friends will tell you that they know me better than that! I'm spontaneous, adventurous, and love to have a good time...out in public! Lee would rather stay home every night, away from anyone who's not family or a friend of mine that he already feels comfortable with. That means my social life is disapearing. I feel like I am loosing some of my closest friends, cause lee and i are always together, and he rarley jumps at the idea of hanging with my friends for the night. He hates the bar scene, and makes me feel guilty when i want to go, with his sister in laws! Come on! Give me a freakin break! its not like i'm out hitting on other guys!
4. Valentines Day- So mabye it is just a "hallmark holiday", but its still a day to show your bf/gf how much u love them. I dont want to sound like a unapreciative bitch, cause he did get my flowers and dinner...which i loved... BUT... he didnt plan anything at all... we drove around for 2 hours lookin for a place to eat, and ended up at our normal diner! Dont get me wrong, we had a good time... i just wish he would of gone out of his way to show me that he does appreciate/love me.
5. The other day we were jokin around about doing laundry, and I ran to his room and grabbed a bag of quarters off his stand. I wasnt really going to take them, his mom and i were playin a joke on him. He got all pissed off and was throwin a fit that i was taking his change. It's CHANGE! big freakin deal, even if i was serious! His mom called him a tight-wad, and i laughed. He got all pissed at me and was namin off things he bought for me (volunteerly by the way!). He was super offended that i laughed and didnt defend him. But IT"S TRUE! he does spend money on me, which i appreciate very much and i DONT expect it from him. BUT he always makes sure after he has, that I know exactly what he did for me and makes me thank him a hundred times or feel guitly for spending so much. (ex: bracelet, tv, ring, etc...)! Those are all huge things that i never asked for. The only thing i asked for was the tire when mine blew out! I even said i would pay him back, but he wouldnt let me! I just wish he would stop recording every lil penny he spends on me and just be more humble when giving it out. I DO appreciate him very much and am so thankful for the things he's gotten me...but i shouldnt have to thank him everyday for the list.
There is more i could write, but i think thats enough to last a while. I needed to just get my feelings out cause i cant seem to talk to anyone about it right now. All my friends love him, and i do too... i just need to figure a way to get over these things.
Is it wrong that i'm this frustrated with these things? Do i sound unapreciative? I dont even know what to do, or if should bring it up to him. Help!
1. I'm 21, with a kid and living at home. Lee is 27, no kids and living at home. I want to be independant and on my own soo bad, but it's hard to step out without having secure finances availible. Lee on the otherhand has lived at home all his life, and has shitloads of $ in the bank... and has NO intention of moving... ever? He does look at home magazines, but he is no where near ready to actually take tours and make plans for moving. He's WAY too comfortable there. His dad says the only way he leaves is if he kicks his ass out!
2. I buy my lunches everyday. Lee's mom makes him lunch...everyday!
3. Every weekend it's the same thing- We sit at home and watch movies...we change it up sometimes by goin to his house... but rarley do we have outside entertainment, just the movies. I'm not the type to sit at home everynight. My close friends will tell you that they know me better than that! I'm spontaneous, adventurous, and love to have a good time...out in public! Lee would rather stay home every night, away from anyone who's not family or a friend of mine that he already feels comfortable with. That means my social life is disapearing. I feel like I am loosing some of my closest friends, cause lee and i are always together, and he rarley jumps at the idea of hanging with my friends for the night. He hates the bar scene, and makes me feel guilty when i want to go, with his sister in laws! Come on! Give me a freakin break! its not like i'm out hitting on other guys!
4. Valentines Day- So mabye it is just a "hallmark holiday", but its still a day to show your bf/gf how much u love them. I dont want to sound like a unapreciative bitch, cause he did get my flowers and dinner...which i loved... BUT... he didnt plan anything at all... we drove around for 2 hours lookin for a place to eat, and ended up at our normal diner! Dont get me wrong, we had a good time... i just wish he would of gone out of his way to show me that he does appreciate/love me.
5. The other day we were jokin around about doing laundry, and I ran to his room and grabbed a bag of quarters off his stand. I wasnt really going to take them, his mom and i were playin a joke on him. He got all pissed off and was throwin a fit that i was taking his change. It's CHANGE! big freakin deal, even if i was serious! His mom called him a tight-wad, and i laughed. He got all pissed at me and was namin off things he bought for me (volunteerly by the way!). He was super offended that i laughed and didnt defend him. But IT"S TRUE! he does spend money on me, which i appreciate very much and i DONT expect it from him. BUT he always makes sure after he has, that I know exactly what he did for me and makes me thank him a hundred times or feel guitly for spending so much. (ex: bracelet, tv, ring, etc...)! Those are all huge things that i never asked for. The only thing i asked for was the tire when mine blew out! I even said i would pay him back, but he wouldnt let me! I just wish he would stop recording every lil penny he spends on me and just be more humble when giving it out. I DO appreciate him very much and am so thankful for the things he's gotten me...but i shouldnt have to thank him everyday for the list.
There is more i could write, but i think thats enough to last a while. I needed to just get my feelings out cause i cant seem to talk to anyone about it right now. All my friends love him, and i do too... i just need to figure a way to get over these things.
Is it wrong that i'm this frustrated with these things? Do i sound unapreciative? I dont even know what to do, or if should bring it up to him. Help!