I like reading dianyla's lists! I'm also frustrated by the tattered steno pads stuffed in my bag and scattered around the house that embody my lists. So here goes:
Big List - week of 2/2
- empty duffel bag of gear
- call & order larger carpet samples to check dye batch (per Lowe's)
- air & restow marmot tent
- clear garage counter & shopvac carpet infront of it
- yard waste to county yard
- take defunct floor freezer to transfer station
- clean snake tanks
- finish raking garden paths (north side of house & by guest house)
- prune roses and move to cold part of yard
- prepare 5 more bags of books for charity
Tuesday morning- mornings are the time I talk with dad- I stated I'd be willing to compromise on his smoking with the doors closed if he'd let me replace the carpet in "his" rooms and let me in to clean them. He said a remarkable thing: he said no- that's not a compromise he is willing to make because he feels less guilty about his smoking affecting my health when he keeps the doors closed. Now I know (and you probably do too) that the residue from him smoking freely when I'm not around is toxic too and that it could also be a rationalization to maintain a comfortably selfish situation. Its the fact that he put it in terms of feeling guilty- not that he would change but that in some soggy corner of what's left in his skull, he knows his choices are affecting me. And feels bad. Its just what this monkey needed as a reminder that dad too is just a person, full of foibles. And he didn't make it out - like I did. Am doing, because you never completely finish. And that compassion needs to be a part of this situation or I may end up bitter and resentful like he and so many folks as they age.
New carpet!