(no subject)
I have been eating all raw fruits, vegetables and plant fats for the past two and a half weeks and the changes in my body, mind and spirit would be difficult to describe to anyone who has never felt them.
Throughout my life I have alternated between feeling a great sense of frustration escalating into rage with humanity to feeling a very deep sense of confusion and inadequacy. The two options have always been: why are people unable to understand Infinite Love, what is wrong with them? Or Why am I unable to explain this, why can I not reach anyone, am I just imagining it, am I crazy, am I making all of this up, what is wrong with -me-?
It is only in the past two weeks that I have experienced enough of a sudden shift to understand. There are a lot of steps and stages that everyone must go through along their path of growth, and it takes time, but it also takes steady action. Every action or inaction that we perform has a direct result. There is nothing inadequate about me, my ability to connect with anyone, and there is nothing wrong with the comprehension levels of anyone else. It is just that my actions and lack of actions have led me to one place, and the actions and lack of action of others has led them to wherever they are. If you examine the choices that anyone has made throughout their life you can directly understand their world view, why they believe what they believe, why they see things the way they see things. If your choices have led you to a place of compassion, then you can feel through their choices and beliefs and feel into their core that they may be shielding.
A lot of things affecting our world view are purely physiological. Our nervous system is a very delicate, finely tuned receiver with infinite untapped potential but it can very easily be bogged down, slowed, or tweaked. When we are breathing in exhaust fumes, eating food full of hormones and additives, when our myelin sheaths surrounding out nerves are full of drug residue, stewing in PCBS and pthalates from our upholestery, our clothing, our cosmetics, our hygiene products, when stress and erratic breathing patterns are keeping us in a state of sympathetic dominance, when pain closes down our breath and our heart, when media is keeping our attention tuned to mindlessness or fear, this affects what we receive. This becomes what we receive.
Every step we take towards clearing our nervous system brings us closer towards perceptions and levels of consciousness that have been previously unexamined. This is not an esoteric concept. Anything you work towards will yield a result. If you work out frequently and correctly, you will build muscle and lose weight. If you save money and put it into a savings account, the account will grow larger. If you remove physical, mental and etheric poisons from your body and your life you will experience a state that is different from when you were still holding on to all of those toxins.
Think about getting a massage. Imagine that you wake up hung over, read something depressing in the news while you eat fried food for breakfast and then go to the massage parlor, it is likely that your massage will be irritating, painful or at best lack luster. Imagine that you wake up after a good nights sleep on a tropical island, drink freshly squeezed fruit juice for breakfast, step out into the sun and then get a massage in an ocean breeze, you are likely to experience levels of pleasure that you may never have experienced before.
Throughout my life often when I have had experiences of extreme pleasure, deep pain, or deep understanding that I perceived ran counter to what I assume people usually experience day to day, I have first desperately and fruitlessly looked for those around me to understand, and then finding no validation, I intuitively sought return to "reality", to compromise my nervous system with drugs, alcohol, or a big bowl of pasta.
Now, drinking 2 quarts of green vegetable juice a day, I am doing something differently than I have ever done before, and I am getting a different result. With this choice the result is euphoria, serenity and a deeper understanding of myself and of the world around me.
Also I have come to understand with my body what I previously only knew with my mind: it is impossible to have true knowledge of anything until you have experienced it and it is useless to expect yourself or anyone else to be able to know something that they haven't opened themselves to.
You can take a hit of ecstasy, swallow a benzodiazepine, or a eat a bowl of fruit salad sprinkled with bee pollen and sit on the beach every day for three weeks and all three will have profound effects on your brain chemsitry, your blood chemistry and therefore your thoughts and your levels of awareness. The first two are much quicker to take effect, the last choice is much longer lasting. All of them are chemicals and in this 3D reality chemicals are very powerful pathways to opening or closing doors of our consciousness.
I am learning minute by minute to keep my heart open. It is a feeling of exquisite radiance and excruciating pain, shifting moment to moment. The truth of everything is Infinite Love, the illusion and the hurt is that we are seperate from this. And all of this sounds like psuedo-buddhist BS until you've felt it with your cells....and that's ok.
We all have energetic blocks, whether they are physical, chemical, mental, emotional or spiritual. I feel that the best we can do is to recognize them, honor them, breathe through them, move through them, feel through them and try to live open as love as best as we can in spite of them. But this is my experience, and this is the understanding that my choices have led me to. All of us will arrive wherever we're going on different paths.
In other news, during my recent camping trip, I fell in love with Hocking Hills Ohio and I decided to buy a plot of land there. I've been looking for the perfect one over the past couple of months, and after one short trip to Ohio where I looked at three spots I came home empty handed and went back to the drawing board.
Now I am crossing my fingers because I think I have found the most ridiculously unimaginably perfect place. It is 3.6 acres, half meadow and half forest, only 3 miles away from the state park and all of my favorite hiking trails. The land has the same sort of ancient rock formations as are in the park, a ravine running through it and even a seasonal waterfall. There is a tiny little shed/cabin built on it already, that I'm not crazy about but I will probably paint it purple, plant flowering vines to climb up it and fill it with silks and velvet. I'm going to build a tree house, a green house to grow plants in the winter and maybe some day a sauna and a steam room, possibly a pavillion for yoga or music or whatever else I want to host. I'm going to dig a well, harvest rain water, probably install a small solar panel, but mostly live without electricity. I am going to fill the meadow with fruit trees, berry bushes, flowers and vegetables and one day, a couple years from now when I've gotten it totally together, eating raw and organic will mean a stroll out to my garden and not a nauseatingly expensive trip to Whole Foods.
One of the best things about the land I think is that my potential next door neighbors run a wolf sanctuary, so not only will I be living next door to rehabilitating majestic wild creatures, but also obviously some obviously really sweet hearted, compassionate people.
I'm going to Ohio again in two weeks to look at it.
I've been reading books on permaculture, sustainable gardening so I can learn how to efficiently construct my little oasis. My favorite one is a book called Gaias Garden by Toby Hemenway which embarassingly enough to say I find so moving it actually brings me to tears. It is so beautiful, so simple, and so obvious. Such a perfect understanding of ecology that I find myself misting up over descriptions of sheet mulch and drainage swales.
I am very excited about the idea that human beings have the capacity not only to live in alignment with nature, but also to use our innovative and insatiable creative potential to elevate everything to new heights of natural beauty and abundance.
Throughout my life I have alternated between feeling a great sense of frustration escalating into rage with humanity to feeling a very deep sense of confusion and inadequacy. The two options have always been: why are people unable to understand Infinite Love, what is wrong with them? Or Why am I unable to explain this, why can I not reach anyone, am I just imagining it, am I crazy, am I making all of this up, what is wrong with -me-?
It is only in the past two weeks that I have experienced enough of a sudden shift to understand. There are a lot of steps and stages that everyone must go through along their path of growth, and it takes time, but it also takes steady action. Every action or inaction that we perform has a direct result. There is nothing inadequate about me, my ability to connect with anyone, and there is nothing wrong with the comprehension levels of anyone else. It is just that my actions and lack of actions have led me to one place, and the actions and lack of action of others has led them to wherever they are. If you examine the choices that anyone has made throughout their life you can directly understand their world view, why they believe what they believe, why they see things the way they see things. If your choices have led you to a place of compassion, then you can feel through their choices and beliefs and feel into their core that they may be shielding.
A lot of things affecting our world view are purely physiological. Our nervous system is a very delicate, finely tuned receiver with infinite untapped potential but it can very easily be bogged down, slowed, or tweaked. When we are breathing in exhaust fumes, eating food full of hormones and additives, when our myelin sheaths surrounding out nerves are full of drug residue, stewing in PCBS and pthalates from our upholestery, our clothing, our cosmetics, our hygiene products, when stress and erratic breathing patterns are keeping us in a state of sympathetic dominance, when pain closes down our breath and our heart, when media is keeping our attention tuned to mindlessness or fear, this affects what we receive. This becomes what we receive.
Every step we take towards clearing our nervous system brings us closer towards perceptions and levels of consciousness that have been previously unexamined. This is not an esoteric concept. Anything you work towards will yield a result. If you work out frequently and correctly, you will build muscle and lose weight. If you save money and put it into a savings account, the account will grow larger. If you remove physical, mental and etheric poisons from your body and your life you will experience a state that is different from when you were still holding on to all of those toxins.
Think about getting a massage. Imagine that you wake up hung over, read something depressing in the news while you eat fried food for breakfast and then go to the massage parlor, it is likely that your massage will be irritating, painful or at best lack luster. Imagine that you wake up after a good nights sleep on a tropical island, drink freshly squeezed fruit juice for breakfast, step out into the sun and then get a massage in an ocean breeze, you are likely to experience levels of pleasure that you may never have experienced before.
Throughout my life often when I have had experiences of extreme pleasure, deep pain, or deep understanding that I perceived ran counter to what I assume people usually experience day to day, I have first desperately and fruitlessly looked for those around me to understand, and then finding no validation, I intuitively sought return to "reality", to compromise my nervous system with drugs, alcohol, or a big bowl of pasta.
Now, drinking 2 quarts of green vegetable juice a day, I am doing something differently than I have ever done before, and I am getting a different result. With this choice the result is euphoria, serenity and a deeper understanding of myself and of the world around me.
Also I have come to understand with my body what I previously only knew with my mind: it is impossible to have true knowledge of anything until you have experienced it and it is useless to expect yourself or anyone else to be able to know something that they haven't opened themselves to.
You can take a hit of ecstasy, swallow a benzodiazepine, or a eat a bowl of fruit salad sprinkled with bee pollen and sit on the beach every day for three weeks and all three will have profound effects on your brain chemsitry, your blood chemistry and therefore your thoughts and your levels of awareness. The first two are much quicker to take effect, the last choice is much longer lasting. All of them are chemicals and in this 3D reality chemicals are very powerful pathways to opening or closing doors of our consciousness.
I am learning minute by minute to keep my heart open. It is a feeling of exquisite radiance and excruciating pain, shifting moment to moment. The truth of everything is Infinite Love, the illusion and the hurt is that we are seperate from this. And all of this sounds like psuedo-buddhist BS until you've felt it with your cells....and that's ok.
We all have energetic blocks, whether they are physical, chemical, mental, emotional or spiritual. I feel that the best we can do is to recognize them, honor them, breathe through them, move through them, feel through them and try to live open as love as best as we can in spite of them. But this is my experience, and this is the understanding that my choices have led me to. All of us will arrive wherever we're going on different paths.
In other news, during my recent camping trip, I fell in love with Hocking Hills Ohio and I decided to buy a plot of land there. I've been looking for the perfect one over the past couple of months, and after one short trip to Ohio where I looked at three spots I came home empty handed and went back to the drawing board.
Now I am crossing my fingers because I think I have found the most ridiculously unimaginably perfect place. It is 3.6 acres, half meadow and half forest, only 3 miles away from the state park and all of my favorite hiking trails. The land has the same sort of ancient rock formations as are in the park, a ravine running through it and even a seasonal waterfall. There is a tiny little shed/cabin built on it already, that I'm not crazy about but I will probably paint it purple, plant flowering vines to climb up it and fill it with silks and velvet. I'm going to build a tree house, a green house to grow plants in the winter and maybe some day a sauna and a steam room, possibly a pavillion for yoga or music or whatever else I want to host. I'm going to dig a well, harvest rain water, probably install a small solar panel, but mostly live without electricity. I am going to fill the meadow with fruit trees, berry bushes, flowers and vegetables and one day, a couple years from now when I've gotten it totally together, eating raw and organic will mean a stroll out to my garden and not a nauseatingly expensive trip to Whole Foods.
One of the best things about the land I think is that my potential next door neighbors run a wolf sanctuary, so not only will I be living next door to rehabilitating majestic wild creatures, but also obviously some obviously really sweet hearted, compassionate people.
I'm going to Ohio again in two weeks to look at it.
I've been reading books on permaculture, sustainable gardening so I can learn how to efficiently construct my little oasis. My favorite one is a book called Gaias Garden by Toby Hemenway which embarassingly enough to say I find so moving it actually brings me to tears. It is so beautiful, so simple, and so obvious. Such a perfect understanding of ecology that I find myself misting up over descriptions of sheet mulch and drainage swales.
I am very excited about the idea that human beings have the capacity not only to live in alignment with nature, but also to use our innovative and insatiable creative potential to elevate everything to new heights of natural beauty and abundance.