Everything vs. Rob, Round 312: Astrology
LEO
If you've been jumping from relationship to relationship, maybe it's time to review the situation. If you're not being stimulated, mentally or physically, perhaps you're looking in the wrong places. Forget what others think, especially if you're interested in someone who doesn't fit the "normal" mold; this person's unique take on life could play a major part in redefining you as a person.
- The New York Daily News, Tuesday, April 8, 2008, Jennifer Angel
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And my horoscope just called me gay.
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Let's break it down, line by line:
"If you're not being stimulated, mentally or physically, perhaps you're looking in the wrong places."
- The vagina is the wrong place to look for stimulation, apparently.
"Forget what others think, especially if you're interested in someone who doesn't fit the "normal" mold;"
- You know what's "normal?" When a guy and a girl have sex. Their advice: Try not doing that.
"...this person..."
- A dude.
"...'s unique take on life could play a major part in redefining you as a person."
- Their new definition of me: gay.
Friends, ex-girlfriends, and family members all pointed fingers, and now the newspapers are against me. I might as well put a cock in my mouth right now.