i am all words too many (in a class on hitch-hikers 101)
im already having regrets.
this is old news. but i wanted my first journal (god, this is cheesy; nina, shoot me) to be worth reading. so i just grabbed something particularly meaningful to me from my other page (www.angelfire.com/boybands/xsweatervestx) and posted it.
dont like it?
dont care.
xoxo
----------------------------------------
6.21.2k1... yesterday when i was driving home at 7:30 pm i passed this tall skinny white man with glasses and a mustache, tight jeans, and a black sweatshirt slung over his shoulder. head hung low. hair cut short. awkward. i completely wizzed by him at first, feeling sorry for myself for having wasted my day off with a million things that werent turning out right. then i thought about how he must feel. he was in the middle of nowhere. walking. so i turned around and made a circle to get behind him again. it took some work to get his attention. honking my horn while pulled over on the side of the road behind him didnt work, so i eventually had to get in the right lane, beside him, with traffic passing me, to yell at him. he accepted my ride and hopped in.
first thing i noticed, he smelled like beer. i asked him where he was headed and his answer was ''well... where are you goin'?'' i think he thought i was only going to take him so far. i explained that i would drive him home, wherever home was, if thats where he needed to go. so after talking about how my day had been going and explaining that i was just pissed off with everyone and had no direction, he finally agreed to let me drive him home. technically, he lived in lawrenceville (where i live). i didnt realize this part of lawrenceville existed. it was a ways out there, past the skating rink that everyone used to go to in elementry school. on the way there we talked about a lot of stuff. about what he was doing out there, how he got out there, where he was going, what his plans were for the night, where he worked, what his children were like, the police, athens, friends, everything.
*****
his name is dennis. he is a fifty year old retiree from the phone company. he installed the phones in the mall of georgia where i now work. he took a ''lump sum'' pension (?) of 250,000 dollars and left the phone company just recently. he and his wife are getting a divorce, but it has so far been a long process, because he knew they were splitting up when he was installing the phones in the mall, which had to be at least two years ago. and we were driving to his wife's house where all his stuff was. he has three children. i know i saw two of them. one kid running around his neighborhood was questionably the third. the oldest is about my age. he would have graduated this past year, but a month before school ended he dropped out. dennis and i talked about how it wasnt too late for his son to finish if he wanted to go back. that son went to south gwinnett highschool. his other chilren are 15 and 8. i saw the eight year old for sure. she gave dennis a fathers day card while i sat in his den and watched something on comedy central with david shwimmer. " 'i love you daddy'," dennis read, "i love you too pun'kin" and gave her a hug.
dennis had all his stuff was layed out on the floor in the den. all he wanted to grab was his credit card from his wife and a little bag with clean clothes. dennis had been picked up for his second or third DUI, which was why he was walking down the street. he had been coming home from the priliminary hearing at court. the one where you go with about fifty other people with tickets and state your plea and then get an assigned ''real'' court date to have your case tried, if you wish to do so. dennis has to meet with a probation officer and pay him 35 dollars at each visit. he was the last to have his plea heard yesterday in court, because his infraction (DUI) was a violation of his probation. the case had more or less been pushed back because of some technicality. today dennis is doing his last day of community service for a previous infraction of the law. he has been mowing grass since seven o'clock this morning, i imagine.
dennis's first DUI had been on the bridge over I-85. he was driving from the outback steakhouse on one side of the bridge to the days inn on the other side. he could have walked the distance in twenty minutes. incidentally, the walk he was taking tonight would have taken him roughly 12 hours, just to get to his house (i originally thought maybe five hours, but others' estimations were much higher). then he would have had to walk all the way back to where i picked him up to crash at the days inn. he hasnt been living with his family, since the split up i suppose. he has been spending a fortune on motels and cabs, because he has neither a place to stay nor a drivers licence.
dennis and i did our impersonations of the cops that have pulled us over in the past. we shared stories about court and tickets. of course, mine were all for speeding, his were all for DUI and fighting. he told me of one specific officer that he hates that gave him a citation for getting in a fight with a guy at applebees. the cop tore dennis's shirt when he threw him in the back of the police car. he told me about how he has to pay fifteen dollars each day before he does his community service. about how, if he has ten and another guy has twenty behind him, they cant combine it to make thirty. you either have the fifteen or you dont get to do your service for the day, and therefore have to do it later. i told him about getting pulled over fifty feet away from my friend's house when i was speeding. about how i offered to show the officer some leg if he would left me off with a warning, just as a joke, and how the officer didnt think it was funny. then dennis and i did our impresonations of what the officer's reaction could have been. (southern accent, a must) i had to shoot 'im. he was bein' a smart ass. i pulled out my mag'num and pumped two bullets in 'is side 'fore he could make any more smart ass comments.
dennis has a good sense of humor.
dennis smoked his cigarette at his house before getting back in my car. he wanted to be courtious. i sat on his front porch with his son and his son's friend. i watched his son's friend ride a bike with some younger kids. his son's friend left his afro pick in the grass. dennis's front yard caught on fire once because an ash tray blew over into the grass. he joked that the grass grew in better where the fire had been, and that he should have let the fire spread over to one area to the left side (our left) where the grass wasnt as thick. dennis's wife was not the least bit phased by walking into her house and seeing me there in her den. his son hardly said hello.
dennis wanted to pick up 'a cold beer' on the way back to the days inn, and give me some money for gas. he warned me about the bump at the entrance to the gas station, about how it would tear up my suspension. about how "the stupid fucking rag heads*" that ran the place didnt know any better than to have that uneven entrance. i wouldnt let dennis pay for the gas. i filled up while he bought his beer. i walked in to pay just as dennis was paying for his beer. he tried to give me a five. i turned it down. when he walked out the stupid fucking raghead* asked me if he was my dad. "no, i just picked him up off the street about twenty minutes ago... he had a DUI and isnt allowed to drive." she looked at me funny. i guess i shouldnt have mentioned that he had a DUI. i dont think she believed me at first. i was afraid she thought he was buying the beer for me. finally she smiled and said, "well he is really nice, he comes in here all the time." the stupid fucking raghead*, by the way, was very pretty. i loved her eyes and mouth.
dennis drank a beer while i drove him to the days inn. he said he had to "keep em low in these parts" talking about holding the beer down where police couldnt see it. we passed at least two cops on the trip. i slowed down to ridiculous speeds when one got behind me. i wanted to see how slow i could go. she passed me. there was somebody in the back seat of her car. dennis had warned me that our "friend" was behind us. it felt like an aliance. a bond.
dennis signed my journal before i let him out of my car. we thanked eachother for the good time and wished eachother the best of luck. dennis thought he was going to go to jail yesterday. thats why he had only a sweatshirt. he said he thinks he might go to jail in july when he goes back to court. i wont know if he does. when we passed the lawrenceville police station he told me he was just another number on their sign. onehundred and eightysix, i think was the number. but dennis will not be just another number to me. he will be a man i talked to. a man i exchanged stories with. one of the guys. dennis will be a great memory of an evening spent. nothing profound, dennis wrote this in my journal:
"steve, thanks for the help, dennis."
*please note that the use of this racial slur is intended to RIDICULE the racist ideals that many have in this area. i DO NOT condone or support this mentality. i think it is sick and long overdue for extinction.
this is old news. but i wanted my first journal (god, this is cheesy; nina, shoot me) to be worth reading. so i just grabbed something particularly meaningful to me from my other page (www.angelfire.com/boybands/xsweatervestx) and posted it.
dont like it?
dont care.
xoxo
----------------------------------------
6.21.2k1... yesterday when i was driving home at 7:30 pm i passed this tall skinny white man with glasses and a mustache, tight jeans, and a black sweatshirt slung over his shoulder. head hung low. hair cut short. awkward. i completely wizzed by him at first, feeling sorry for myself for having wasted my day off with a million things that werent turning out right. then i thought about how he must feel. he was in the middle of nowhere. walking. so i turned around and made a circle to get behind him again. it took some work to get his attention. honking my horn while pulled over on the side of the road behind him didnt work, so i eventually had to get in the right lane, beside him, with traffic passing me, to yell at him. he accepted my ride and hopped in.
first thing i noticed, he smelled like beer. i asked him where he was headed and his answer was ''well... where are you goin'?'' i think he thought i was only going to take him so far. i explained that i would drive him home, wherever home was, if thats where he needed to go. so after talking about how my day had been going and explaining that i was just pissed off with everyone and had no direction, he finally agreed to let me drive him home. technically, he lived in lawrenceville (where i live). i didnt realize this part of lawrenceville existed. it was a ways out there, past the skating rink that everyone used to go to in elementry school. on the way there we talked about a lot of stuff. about what he was doing out there, how he got out there, where he was going, what his plans were for the night, where he worked, what his children were like, the police, athens, friends, everything.
*****
his name is dennis. he is a fifty year old retiree from the phone company. he installed the phones in the mall of georgia where i now work. he took a ''lump sum'' pension (?) of 250,000 dollars and left the phone company just recently. he and his wife are getting a divorce, but it has so far been a long process, because he knew they were splitting up when he was installing the phones in the mall, which had to be at least two years ago. and we were driving to his wife's house where all his stuff was. he has three children. i know i saw two of them. one kid running around his neighborhood was questionably the third. the oldest is about my age. he would have graduated this past year, but a month before school ended he dropped out. dennis and i talked about how it wasnt too late for his son to finish if he wanted to go back. that son went to south gwinnett highschool. his other chilren are 15 and 8. i saw the eight year old for sure. she gave dennis a fathers day card while i sat in his den and watched something on comedy central with david shwimmer. " 'i love you daddy'," dennis read, "i love you too pun'kin" and gave her a hug.
dennis had all his stuff was layed out on the floor in the den. all he wanted to grab was his credit card from his wife and a little bag with clean clothes. dennis had been picked up for his second or third DUI, which was why he was walking down the street. he had been coming home from the priliminary hearing at court. the one where you go with about fifty other people with tickets and state your plea and then get an assigned ''real'' court date to have your case tried, if you wish to do so. dennis has to meet with a probation officer and pay him 35 dollars at each visit. he was the last to have his plea heard yesterday in court, because his infraction (DUI) was a violation of his probation. the case had more or less been pushed back because of some technicality. today dennis is doing his last day of community service for a previous infraction of the law. he has been mowing grass since seven o'clock this morning, i imagine.
dennis's first DUI had been on the bridge over I-85. he was driving from the outback steakhouse on one side of the bridge to the days inn on the other side. he could have walked the distance in twenty minutes. incidentally, the walk he was taking tonight would have taken him roughly 12 hours, just to get to his house (i originally thought maybe five hours, but others' estimations were much higher). then he would have had to walk all the way back to where i picked him up to crash at the days inn. he hasnt been living with his family, since the split up i suppose. he has been spending a fortune on motels and cabs, because he has neither a place to stay nor a drivers licence.
dennis and i did our impersonations of the cops that have pulled us over in the past. we shared stories about court and tickets. of course, mine were all for speeding, his were all for DUI and fighting. he told me of one specific officer that he hates that gave him a citation for getting in a fight with a guy at applebees. the cop tore dennis's shirt when he threw him in the back of the police car. he told me about how he has to pay fifteen dollars each day before he does his community service. about how, if he has ten and another guy has twenty behind him, they cant combine it to make thirty. you either have the fifteen or you dont get to do your service for the day, and therefore have to do it later. i told him about getting pulled over fifty feet away from my friend's house when i was speeding. about how i offered to show the officer some leg if he would left me off with a warning, just as a joke, and how the officer didnt think it was funny. then dennis and i did our impresonations of what the officer's reaction could have been. (southern accent, a must) i had to shoot 'im. he was bein' a smart ass. i pulled out my mag'num and pumped two bullets in 'is side 'fore he could make any more smart ass comments.
dennis has a good sense of humor.
dennis smoked his cigarette at his house before getting back in my car. he wanted to be courtious. i sat on his front porch with his son and his son's friend. i watched his son's friend ride a bike with some younger kids. his son's friend left his afro pick in the grass. dennis's front yard caught on fire once because an ash tray blew over into the grass. he joked that the grass grew in better where the fire had been, and that he should have let the fire spread over to one area to the left side (our left) where the grass wasnt as thick. dennis's wife was not the least bit phased by walking into her house and seeing me there in her den. his son hardly said hello.
dennis wanted to pick up 'a cold beer' on the way back to the days inn, and give me some money for gas. he warned me about the bump at the entrance to the gas station, about how it would tear up my suspension. about how "the stupid fucking rag heads*" that ran the place didnt know any better than to have that uneven entrance. i wouldnt let dennis pay for the gas. i filled up while he bought his beer. i walked in to pay just as dennis was paying for his beer. he tried to give me a five. i turned it down. when he walked out the stupid fucking raghead* asked me if he was my dad. "no, i just picked him up off the street about twenty minutes ago... he had a DUI and isnt allowed to drive." she looked at me funny. i guess i shouldnt have mentioned that he had a DUI. i dont think she believed me at first. i was afraid she thought he was buying the beer for me. finally she smiled and said, "well he is really nice, he comes in here all the time." the stupid fucking raghead*, by the way, was very pretty. i loved her eyes and mouth.
dennis drank a beer while i drove him to the days inn. he said he had to "keep em low in these parts" talking about holding the beer down where police couldnt see it. we passed at least two cops on the trip. i slowed down to ridiculous speeds when one got behind me. i wanted to see how slow i could go. she passed me. there was somebody in the back seat of her car. dennis had warned me that our "friend" was behind us. it felt like an aliance. a bond.
dennis signed my journal before i let him out of my car. we thanked eachother for the good time and wished eachother the best of luck. dennis thought he was going to go to jail yesterday. thats why he had only a sweatshirt. he said he thinks he might go to jail in july when he goes back to court. i wont know if he does. when we passed the lawrenceville police station he told me he was just another number on their sign. onehundred and eightysix, i think was the number. but dennis will not be just another number to me. he will be a man i talked to. a man i exchanged stories with. one of the guys. dennis will be a great memory of an evening spent. nothing profound, dennis wrote this in my journal:
"steve, thanks for the help, dennis."
*please note that the use of this racial slur is intended to RIDICULE the racist ideals that many have in this area. i DO NOT condone or support this mentality. i think it is sick and long overdue for extinction.