*Sigh*
Well, I tried to sort out the little ones into two piles again, since Luni not only won't go near the consolidated pile, but runs from it as though a cat or something is going to spring from that very spot. I figured, maybe if I sorted them again, Luni would help out with the nursing. It wasn't too hard to figure out whose was whose: Tia's are
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what you wrote reminded me of how, when you came over to mine and kaceys place in sherman oaks. during the week we had showed you many things, but we never showed you the place which had become the graveyard for the little ones we had lost. Some of them were due to age, or illness, or sometimes reasons we never knew. i know we had told you about it, but we were always embarrassed by how we would prepare a tiny grave for anyone, even the cleaner hermit crab no more than 5mm across. we never thought anyone would understand.
sort of the all life is sacred thing i guess.
as you know, i worked for a while in the funeral services industry. nothing noble or anything like that. true, i counseled people who had suffered a loss, but my motives were selfish. i needed to understand death. i had seen so much of it in my life that i had become entirely desensitized to it.
during that time i saw many methods of people dealing with loss. some hid behind religion, some hid in it, others ran from it. so often i had to watch every single word i would say because one slip, one mention of god, or anything that sounded like a religious reference and i could have been facing a lawsuit for mental anguish. was kind of crazy sometimes.
you of all people know how i feel about religion. or, 'organized religion' as i call it. i am sure you have heard me say many times "i do not not believe in a god". a belief which took quite a bit of explaining at the airport that night.
faith, as i see it, is personal. and in my belief it does not matter what we call it. god, buddah, tao, the doorknob (when you are two years old - trust me, that doorknob has a lot of power) - it does not really matter. only that we fulfill our own need. no amount of anyone telling us how we should feel, or what we should think, will ever fill that void.
i think it is commendable that you do take the time to pray for others. even if you do not follow the exact belief. and, perhaps i could learn a bit from you there and actually try to learn the traditions of kaceys family and participate in the prayers at gatherings instead of just observing.
maybe it is not about offending through action i should worry about. perhaps offending through inaction. i really do not know.
just some thoughts.
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