what if there is nothing to rise to? or toward?
i really want to just sit and wait for something. by saying this I guess it means taht i'm not just sitting andwaiting, i would never say that aboutmseyfl now becasue the alternative is that i'm living or doing something at least which is not what I think I am doing. If i'm doing anything it is waiting, and yet all i want to do is wait for something. perhaps the for something is the important part. when you wait you forget you are an object and give up fully to the subject. everything around you becomes something to be watched yet you never fully realize that people are watching you. perhaps its becuase you aren't doing anything and therefore do not warrant people's attentions. by writing this, then, i have ceased waiting i have become an object again at least for the five seconds it takes you to skim over this. and yet my intention is just to sit and wait.