I feel pretty stupid right now

[whune]

I want to just be by myself and read the Bible, and brainstorm practical steps of my vision

don't want to deal with other people right now. (community group is tonight; my only semblance of 'church' right now)

don't want to pretend I'm happy, and don't want to share my disappointments* and get pity

I've faith things will workout, or they won't, and It'll be the best for me either way.

but I still feel crappy, part of me feels crappy

another part of me is relieved, and knows this is how it's supposed to be right now.

if I change my focus, and just follow that simple command: thank "Give thanks, for all things"
then my focus will switch and my state will change.

I don't wanna.

...

I thank God, for all things.

it helps if you raise your posture and smile as well.

character is doing what you know you need to do.

*mostly at my self, seeing the self in hindsight is... sobering**: lol spiritual hang-over

**wow I thought I'd come so far.

what a revelation: I can just say I don't want to talk about it.
That talking about it would just perpetuate the...