to strive is to get lost in the self

[whune]

i used to see it my purpose to be something of a guru... to teach of self;
and then I felt shame and came to the mind of "I don't really know any thing... yet."

and then a person approached me and told me God told them they needed to speak to me and hear whatever I had to say.

and in so doing I saw more than I would have;

but in getting focused on that;
in finding some sense of identity in that...

I distracted us both from a deeper knowing.

I can only inspire others to know by maintaining my own knowing;

and knowing supersedes logic and reason.

Knowing is cognitive union with the infinite.

Our precious rationality can only distract from that.

All that I am gifted to be... I will be;
so long as I simply focus on being;
and cease any actual striving.

I was restless; because I thought...

in the stead of being content to just see.

To be still... and know God is God.

A place where one neither needs to speak nor needs to be silent.

That is the place of true autonomy from reality.

I have no idea what else to say;
and that's probably because nothing needs to be said.

or something like that.