Tiananmen Square - 20 years later
Twenty years ago, I watched my mother cry as she watched a tank roll towards the sole human student barricade. She was spent the next days transfixed on Apple TV. She clung to the radio we bought in Chinatown which dutifully received broadcasts in Chinese. I didn't understand why she cried. That was "over there" and we were safely here.
Almost twelve years ago I stood in Tiananmen Square. The sheer expanse of the square really did give me some perspective about how small we are relative to the universe. After all, it was built with the premise that it was the center of the universe. I didn't find a single trace of events from twelve years earlier, but that didn't really matter. I was younger then and I didn't understand even as I watched the tears in my mom's eyes.
Twenty years afterwards, I cry. I cling to the world wide web hoping for some sign, some recognition by the Chinese government that it had committed a catastrophic mistake. I cry in realization that the recent blocks on social networking websites in China are part of a continued successful effort to keep the Chinese people ignorant. I cry because for once this 'jook sing' knows more about a piece of Chinese history than the mainlanders do -- and it's not something I'm proud of. I cry understanding just a fractional bit of why my mother cried.
I cry because there is nothing I can do to make right all that is wrong with this world. I cry, and somehow, I know God does everyday. It only makes me cry harder.
Almost twelve years ago I stood in Tiananmen Square. The sheer expanse of the square really did give me some perspective about how small we are relative to the universe. After all, it was built with the premise that it was the center of the universe. I didn't find a single trace of events from twelve years earlier, but that didn't really matter. I was younger then and I didn't understand even as I watched the tears in my mom's eyes.
Twenty years afterwards, I cry. I cling to the world wide web hoping for some sign, some recognition by the Chinese government that it had committed a catastrophic mistake. I cry in realization that the recent blocks on social networking websites in China are part of a continued successful effort to keep the Chinese people ignorant. I cry because for once this 'jook sing' knows more about a piece of Chinese history than the mainlanders do -- and it's not something I'm proud of. I cry understanding just a fractional bit of why my mother cried.
I cry because there is nothing I can do to make right all that is wrong with this world. I cry, and somehow, I know God does everyday. It only makes me cry harder.