[i cant make it in my own]
I WISH TODAY NEVER HAPPNED, I FUCKED UP AGAIN, I HAVE NO WILL TO LIVE AND NO WILL TO DIE, IM JUST A WRECK, I WANNA DIE, HERES THE CONVO, LAUREN IN ON MY FRIEND CAIT'S SN....I STILL LOVE HER, with everything i am
x3 B1oodyRomance: has lauren been on?
Imalwayzsleepin4: shes right here
x3 B1oodyRomance: o
Imalwayzsleepin4: would u like to speak to her
x3 B1oodyRomance: ....if she'll let me
Imalwayzsleepin4: she said okay
x3 B1oodyRomance: :-)
Imalwayzsleepin4: whats up
x3 B1oodyRomance: A) i fucked up again, and i did something wrong
B) something was bugging u and it's none of my buisness
C) u have a think for neal, vinnie, or someone else and u wanna dump me
D) u completely hate me, wish me dead and never wanna speak to me again
x3 B1oodyRomance: gimme a letter(s)
Imalwayzsleepin4: oi
Imalwayzsleepin4: well this is how it goes
Imalwayzsleepin4: everytime i talk to u online ur fine and i actually feel like u love me then i see u in person and its like im nonexistant and it makes me angry so today i just went off and flirted with vinnie cuz u were all over justin ... it takes u 6 years to acknowledge me and u only do when im upset and u no i am...
x3 B1oodyRomance: do u actually think i like justin, il say this right now, I DONT LIKE HIM THT WAY....but yea i kinda knew i did tht, and i noticed, so i tried to make up, and u pushed away, and to let u kno...no matter wht i do i love you, ive been litting here for 2 or more hour afraid, AFRAID, the person who plays frogger on busy streets, i was afraid to sign online, i stared at the celling just thinking wht i would do i u left me, fuck if my heart wasn in my thoroat id have cried
x3 B1oodyRomance: sitting*
x3 B1oodyRomance: right now im shaking, and it aint cuz im cold
Imalwayzsleepin4: its not that i think u like him its that i dont see u for fuckin 2 weeks and u pick him over me what the fuck is that supposed to tell me that u fuckin love me NO
x3 B1oodyRomance: i didnt chose anyone over u, and look at u, i take ur stupid couch and u jup in fucking neal's lap, i still dont like him for some reason, and y the helll do u think i went upstairs, i was hoping u would follow so we could b alone
x3 B1oodyRomance: jump*
Imalwayzsleepin4: it was for 2 seconds its not like i sat there for the whole fuckin day....
Imalwayzsleepin4: how r u gonna tell me u didnt choose ne one over me when u were with justin the whole day!
x3 B1oodyRomance: just making a point
x3 B1oodyRomance: and wht do u expect me to do, we're in a room full of guyz tht want u minus justin, tht i kno of, u kno ive been in tht position b4, stuck watching the girl i like with another, so y do u think even when they all went updtairs i wanted to stay down, wtf do u expect me to do
Imalwayzsleepin4: and what do u want me to do.... i come to caits house to hang out with cait... not play leave the room of friends to hang out with my b.f
x3 B1oodyRomance: well if u havent noticed without cait, as much as i luv her, with out her we wouldnt c each other at all
Imalwayzsleepin4: well seems like everytime we see eachother u dont wanna be with me ne wayz so what does it matter
x3 B1oodyRomance: UR THE ONLY PERSON I REALLY WANNA SEE
Imalwayzsleepin4: w.e u dont show it
x3 B1oodyRomance: well maybe we just shouldnt see each other cuz i seem to fuck up way too much
x3 B1oodyRomance: not like tht
x3 B1oodyRomance: but like see each other in person
Imalwayzsleepin4: or maybe we shouldnt be together
x3 B1oodyRomance: ........
x3 B1oodyRomance: ill do whatever makes u happiest...
x3 B1oodyRomance: do i wannan be without NO, id rather be without my life, but if u realy would be happier without me then do be it, but tht doesnt mean ill stop loving you
x3 B1oodyRomance: so*
Imalwayzsleepin4: -sigh-
x3 B1oodyRomance: -punches self in head-
Imalwayzsleepin4: ugh
Imalwayzsleepin4: y do u have to do these things
Imalwayzsleepin4: i dont wanna make u fuckin hurt urself thats not what i wanna see... but i also dont wanna be with someone who supposedly loves me then just acts like they dont give a shit..... i dont wanna loose u as a friend either
x3 B1oodyRomance: u wont lose me as a friend either way, and the hurting part wont hurt, i swear tht i love you, no matter wht, and i swear to fucking tht ill fucking never pull this again, ull have trouble getting away from me, , but as i said, whatever makes u happiest, if ud rateh just end it, so be it
Imalwayzsleepin4: skapy u promised me last time it will never happen again and u did it again... ur just gonna do it again no matter how many times u tell me ur not gonna
x3 B1oodyRomance: -officaially hates self-
x3 B1oodyRomance: ur right
x3 B1oodyRomance: or maybe ur not, but as much as its killing me to say it,...i dunno
x3 B1oodyRomance: ....
x3 B1oodyRomance: hell, ill fucking walk out there 2morro, and get grounded for like a year and show u the attention u deserve, like i wanna show and u wanna see shown
Imalwayzsleepin4: no
x3 B1oodyRomance: yes
x3 B1oodyRomance: fucking watch me
x3 B1oodyRomance: x out the fucking
x3 B1oodyRomance: watch me*
Imalwayzsleepin4: k ill watch u be with me when its just us but when justin is around its a whole other story
Imalwayzsleepin4: or kc
Imalwayzsleepin4: or ne other fuckin person ERRRRRRRRR
x3 B1oodyRomance: fuck kc,fuck justin, fuck vinnie, fuck neal, fuck cait, fuck everyone else, ill be everything u want me to be 24/7
Imalwayzsleepin4: no those r my friends... u dont just fuck them.... i take them be4 ne thing.... if u cant get along with me when they r around then fuck it
x3 B1oodyRomance: i can, and i dont mean fuck them in anything the nicest unsexual way
x3 B1oodyRomance: but the nicest unsexual way*
Imalwayzsleepin4: w.e im not up for this shit
Imalwayzsleepin4: u fucked up like 3 times after u promised u wouldnt.... i cant take it ne more... u've hurt me enuff after i fuckin loved u ok.....
x3 B1oodyRomance: and i fucking still love you, but i see where this is leading....
Imalwayzsleepin4: yeah u show it real nicely
x3 B1oodyRomance: this is teh last thing ill say in my defense, uz i am wrong, but if u havent noticed in a complete fuck up, ive ruined a lot of good things in my life...i guess im kinda shy and afraid, im s0o scared of fucking up tht i end up making it worse
Imalwayzsleepin4: mmmmk
x3 B1oodyRomance: so yea just say it then, u have the gun to my head (in a matter of speaking)
x3 B1oodyRomance: i kno i have it comming
x3 B1oodyRomance: i fucked up
x3 B1oodyRomance: aga
x3 B1oodyRomance: in
x3 B1oodyRomance: id say it for u...but i dont have the guts
Imalwayzsleepin4: k it hurts but its over
x3 B1oodyRomance: .......ok
x3 B1oodyRomance: im sorry for hurting u in the first place, good bye
Imalwayzsleepin4: ugh thats not what i want
x3 B1oodyRomance: wht do u mean
Imalwayzsleepin4: i dont just want ok good bye
x3 B1oodyRomance: wht do u expect me to do wht i wanna do, beg and cry and scream no no over and over, im still gonna b ur friend if tht wht u mean, but yea....
Imalwayzsleepin4: no... dont u think im hurt too... its not that i wanna be the bitch and be like sry asshole its over and never wanna talk to u again.... i just have to do what i think is right... after promising me that it would never happen again then doin it makes me wonder.... no i dont want u to scream and cry ... i dont wanna c u sad/mad/ whatever else but i no u will probably be that
x3 B1oodyRomance: well im gonna kidna hurt, u kno cuz i still love u and all, and ur not being the bitch cuz i fucked up
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok
x3 B1oodyRomance: and i kno its wht u think i s right, i dont blame u, u r better off without me, as much as it hurt both of us
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok
Imalwayzsleepin4: well im gonna go die now
x3 B1oodyRomance: u and me both
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok just dont die literally
x3 B1oodyRomance: mentally too late
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok physically no
x3 B1oodyRomance: ill try
Imalwayzsleepin4: no i dont want u to die
x3 B1oodyRomance: pft, i dont have the balls to kill myself if i wanted too, so u dont have to worry bout tht
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok
Imalwayzsleepin4: well then im gonna go to bed
x3 B1oodyRomance: ok
x3 B1oodyRomance: nite
Imalwayzsleepin4: nite
Imalwayzsleepin4 signed off at 12:36:37 AM.
x3 B1oodyRomance: has lauren been on?
Imalwayzsleepin4: shes right here
x3 B1oodyRomance: o
Imalwayzsleepin4: would u like to speak to her
x3 B1oodyRomance: ....if she'll let me
Imalwayzsleepin4: she said okay
x3 B1oodyRomance: :-)
Imalwayzsleepin4: whats up
x3 B1oodyRomance: A) i fucked up again, and i did something wrong
B) something was bugging u and it's none of my buisness
C) u have a think for neal, vinnie, or someone else and u wanna dump me
D) u completely hate me, wish me dead and never wanna speak to me again
x3 B1oodyRomance: gimme a letter(s)
Imalwayzsleepin4: oi
Imalwayzsleepin4: well this is how it goes
Imalwayzsleepin4: everytime i talk to u online ur fine and i actually feel like u love me then i see u in person and its like im nonexistant and it makes me angry so today i just went off and flirted with vinnie cuz u were all over justin ... it takes u 6 years to acknowledge me and u only do when im upset and u no i am...
x3 B1oodyRomance: do u actually think i like justin, il say this right now, I DONT LIKE HIM THT WAY....but yea i kinda knew i did tht, and i noticed, so i tried to make up, and u pushed away, and to let u kno...no matter wht i do i love you, ive been litting here for 2 or more hour afraid, AFRAID, the person who plays frogger on busy streets, i was afraid to sign online, i stared at the celling just thinking wht i would do i u left me, fuck if my heart wasn in my thoroat id have cried
x3 B1oodyRomance: sitting*
x3 B1oodyRomance: right now im shaking, and it aint cuz im cold
Imalwayzsleepin4: its not that i think u like him its that i dont see u for fuckin 2 weeks and u pick him over me what the fuck is that supposed to tell me that u fuckin love me NO
x3 B1oodyRomance: i didnt chose anyone over u, and look at u, i take ur stupid couch and u jup in fucking neal's lap, i still dont like him for some reason, and y the helll do u think i went upstairs, i was hoping u would follow so we could b alone
x3 B1oodyRomance: jump*
Imalwayzsleepin4: it was for 2 seconds its not like i sat there for the whole fuckin day....
Imalwayzsleepin4: how r u gonna tell me u didnt choose ne one over me when u were with justin the whole day!
x3 B1oodyRomance: just making a point
x3 B1oodyRomance: and wht do u expect me to do, we're in a room full of guyz tht want u minus justin, tht i kno of, u kno ive been in tht position b4, stuck watching the girl i like with another, so y do u think even when they all went updtairs i wanted to stay down, wtf do u expect me to do
Imalwayzsleepin4: and what do u want me to do.... i come to caits house to hang out with cait... not play leave the room of friends to hang out with my b.f
x3 B1oodyRomance: well if u havent noticed without cait, as much as i luv her, with out her we wouldnt c each other at all
Imalwayzsleepin4: well seems like everytime we see eachother u dont wanna be with me ne wayz so what does it matter
x3 B1oodyRomance: UR THE ONLY PERSON I REALLY WANNA SEE
Imalwayzsleepin4: w.e u dont show it
x3 B1oodyRomance: well maybe we just shouldnt see each other cuz i seem to fuck up way too much
x3 B1oodyRomance: not like tht
x3 B1oodyRomance: but like see each other in person
Imalwayzsleepin4: or maybe we shouldnt be together
x3 B1oodyRomance: ........
x3 B1oodyRomance: ill do whatever makes u happiest...
x3 B1oodyRomance: do i wannan be without NO, id rather be without my life, but if u realy would be happier without me then do be it, but tht doesnt mean ill stop loving you
x3 B1oodyRomance: so*
Imalwayzsleepin4: -sigh-
x3 B1oodyRomance: -punches self in head-
Imalwayzsleepin4: ugh
Imalwayzsleepin4: y do u have to do these things
Imalwayzsleepin4: i dont wanna make u fuckin hurt urself thats not what i wanna see... but i also dont wanna be with someone who supposedly loves me then just acts like they dont give a shit..... i dont wanna loose u as a friend either
x3 B1oodyRomance: u wont lose me as a friend either way, and the hurting part wont hurt, i swear tht i love you, no matter wht, and i swear to fucking tht ill fucking never pull this again, ull have trouble getting away from me, , but as i said, whatever makes u happiest, if ud rateh just end it, so be it
Imalwayzsleepin4: skapy u promised me last time it will never happen again and u did it again... ur just gonna do it again no matter how many times u tell me ur not gonna
x3 B1oodyRomance: -officaially hates self-
x3 B1oodyRomance: ur right
x3 B1oodyRomance: or maybe ur not, but as much as its killing me to say it,...i dunno
x3 B1oodyRomance: ....
x3 B1oodyRomance: hell, ill fucking walk out there 2morro, and get grounded for like a year and show u the attention u deserve, like i wanna show and u wanna see shown
Imalwayzsleepin4: no
x3 B1oodyRomance: yes
x3 B1oodyRomance: fucking watch me
x3 B1oodyRomance: x out the fucking
x3 B1oodyRomance: watch me*
Imalwayzsleepin4: k ill watch u be with me when its just us but when justin is around its a whole other story
Imalwayzsleepin4: or kc
Imalwayzsleepin4: or ne other fuckin person ERRRRRRRRR
x3 B1oodyRomance: fuck kc,fuck justin, fuck vinnie, fuck neal, fuck cait, fuck everyone else, ill be everything u want me to be 24/7
Imalwayzsleepin4: no those r my friends... u dont just fuck them.... i take them be4 ne thing.... if u cant get along with me when they r around then fuck it
x3 B1oodyRomance: i can, and i dont mean fuck them in anything the nicest unsexual way
x3 B1oodyRomance: but the nicest unsexual way*
Imalwayzsleepin4: w.e im not up for this shit
Imalwayzsleepin4: u fucked up like 3 times after u promised u wouldnt.... i cant take it ne more... u've hurt me enuff after i fuckin loved u ok.....
x3 B1oodyRomance: and i fucking still love you, but i see where this is leading....
Imalwayzsleepin4: yeah u show it real nicely
x3 B1oodyRomance: this is teh last thing ill say in my defense, uz i am wrong, but if u havent noticed in a complete fuck up, ive ruined a lot of good things in my life...i guess im kinda shy and afraid, im s0o scared of fucking up tht i end up making it worse
Imalwayzsleepin4: mmmmk
x3 B1oodyRomance: so yea just say it then, u have the gun to my head (in a matter of speaking)
x3 B1oodyRomance: i kno i have it comming
x3 B1oodyRomance: i fucked up
x3 B1oodyRomance: aga
x3 B1oodyRomance: in
x3 B1oodyRomance: id say it for u...but i dont have the guts
Imalwayzsleepin4: k it hurts but its over
x3 B1oodyRomance: .......ok
x3 B1oodyRomance: im sorry for hurting u in the first place, good bye
Imalwayzsleepin4: ugh thats not what i want
x3 B1oodyRomance: wht do u mean
Imalwayzsleepin4: i dont just want ok good bye
x3 B1oodyRomance: wht do u expect me to do wht i wanna do, beg and cry and scream no no over and over, im still gonna b ur friend if tht wht u mean, but yea....
Imalwayzsleepin4: no... dont u think im hurt too... its not that i wanna be the bitch and be like sry asshole its over and never wanna talk to u again.... i just have to do what i think is right... after promising me that it would never happen again then doin it makes me wonder.... no i dont want u to scream and cry ... i dont wanna c u sad/mad/ whatever else but i no u will probably be that
x3 B1oodyRomance: well im gonna kidna hurt, u kno cuz i still love u and all, and ur not being the bitch cuz i fucked up
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok
x3 B1oodyRomance: and i kno its wht u think i s right, i dont blame u, u r better off without me, as much as it hurt both of us
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok
Imalwayzsleepin4: well im gonna go die now
x3 B1oodyRomance: u and me both
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok just dont die literally
x3 B1oodyRomance: mentally too late
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok physically no
x3 B1oodyRomance: ill try
Imalwayzsleepin4: no i dont want u to die
x3 B1oodyRomance: pft, i dont have the balls to kill myself if i wanted too, so u dont have to worry bout tht
Imalwayzsleepin4: ok
Imalwayzsleepin4: well then im gonna go to bed
x3 B1oodyRomance: ok
x3 B1oodyRomance: nite
Imalwayzsleepin4: nite
Imalwayzsleepin4 signed off at 12:36:37 AM.