Surreal

[whpktn]

shuffling around, getting ready for today.  everything feels off.  sunny day right now but might rain later.  that about sums it up - mostly clear with occasional sudden downpours.  I didn't cry yesterday though - we somehow managed to keep ourselves busy with preparations, and mundane details of everyday.  Friends and family help a ton too.  We keep talking about how amazed we are at how the brain tries to keep a sense of normalcy by making you think about random normal type things - oil changes, dog food, laundry.  we expect that the next few weeks will end up being the hardest now that that initial shock is starting to wear off.  i worked on photo collages all yesterday for the service and for the grandparents.  it was good to see all the happy times that we got to share.  I wish there were more of them in recent times. So many things that we wanted to show him about life.

I hope he gets to see today how many people truly cared about him.  I think it was something he has doubted for a long time.  I hope he doesn't doubt anymore.