Long Awaited update...
Ok!!! Sooo what is new? Lets see.. Michelle and I still arent together.. a lot of people said "U'll get back with her blah blah blah" But hey. its not happening this time. #1 reason---->> No physical love. I need to be reminded when someone is thinking about me.. just a call.. or a note. SOMETHING a text message.. you know? NOT something I am getting for her.. or was getting from her. I went to a party with Cindy and Michelle on Saturday night.. REALLY wanted to get shitfaced drunk... BUT once again here is jordan sitting on the floor in a small ass bathroom listening to michelle say how she is going to die from alochol poisoning.. me rolling my eyes trying to get her to eat some bread.. and drink water.. then i tried to take off her boots that she threw up on.. she she threw up in my hands... EW.. GROSS.. GROSS...GROSS!! I was having fun just talking to people.. just overall having fun. I havent hung out with Cindy in a while.. and I am seriusly thinking about going on Meth so i can loose hella weight..then i can be attractive... and be able to hit on people and have no insecurites... cuz whenever we go somewhere SOMEBODY falls in love with Cindy, and she doesnt want anything from anybody right now relationship wise.. and I wrote the BOOK on how to drive loved ones away. Meanwhile.. has anyone ever been told "You deserve better"? By a show of hands.. come on raise them up. Yeah.. okay well I LOATH people saying I deserve better then them. When someone ssays to me you deserve better I want to spit in their face.. WHY DONT U JUST SAY THAT YOU DONT WANT TO WORK HARDER TO MAKE ME HAPPY?
And Michelle got all mad that my mom was telling her to help me.. WELL AT LEAST MY FUCKING MOTHER DOESNT CHASE YOU AROUND CALLING YOU NAMES OR SHOWING UP AT YOUR WORK SAYING REALLY FUCKING NSATY ASS STUFF! I SO WISH that the worst thing your fucking stupid ass whore mother ever said to me was "help her lift something!! help her!!!"
Anyway about Chris.. yeah yeah yeah.. she is jeleous but doesnt want to know about it.. THEN WHY GO THROUGH MY PHONE?? Please! go to FCC and get some guys number.. then you can use his little dick for sex.. and if THAT doesnt make sense to anybody I also am in the same boat with that excuse or.. explaination as well.
And as for the sandwich.. don't break up with someone over a stupid reason like "OH i think YOU like other people when i am the one that cheated and still sees my bitch ass mother fucking hoe bag skank" PLEASE DONT FUKING DO THAT BECAUSE IT IS ENTIRLEY HIPPOCRITICAL AND GAY!
On another topic.. THE BIRDS! I SWEAR I HAVE FUCKING NIGHTMARES WHERE THEY ARE JUST SCREAMING ONE LONG GIGANTIC SCREAM THAT JUST KEEPS DRONEING ON AND ON!! and then.. i wake up.. and... **waits and listens** YEP STILL SCREAMING!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So i dont know what i want really. Want a better job.. but im just waiting for one to fall into my lap
Want a realtionship.. but... **pulls hair out** JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE SHIT I AM ALREADY IN!
I made Michelle a sandwhich.. but i was hesitant.. I'm not gonna be here all the time to make you a sandwhich all the time sweetie.. especially if your willing to leave me for BUNK ass reasons.
My nose is all stuffed up. A big part of me wants to move in with Michelle Lizz and Darryl.. especially this new apartment/townhouse.. but i am so hesitant. She still wants to look through my phone.. it just seems like.. the more time we spend apart...... the more apart we become.. but when we are together.. then.. we are "together" just without kissing goodbye. That is really the only significat change.. i dont kiss her before she leaves.. i am already used to not having sex. Some people are just all like "Hey thats great move on" But do you understand how FUCKING complicated this really is? Everything is different yet it is the same!" Ok so i said "Goodnight" to Chris TWO WEEKS AGO! i also said goodnight to Amanda.. sara... Matt...Andre...Joe..
DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN THAT I HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM TOO? OR IS IT JUST THE NEGATIVE YOU SEE? Its not.. hey Jordan was nice enough to make me a sandwhich.. you couldnt end it there.. you had to say.. BUT i dont think she wanted to make me a sandwhich..
WTF?!?!?!?!Just THANK me for the god dam sandwich and forget about it! GEEZ-US H CHRIST~ Doesnt matter if i didnt want to.. you got your dam sandwhich... what else matters?
Doesnt matter if you think i like/d chris when i tell YOU that i love you!
IT DOES MATTER HOWEVER.. IF I TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU>> THEN GO IN THE BACK OF MY CAR A FEW HOURS LATER AND START MAKING OUT WITH CHRIS AND THEN FORGET ABOUT YOU.. COME HOME AT 5 IN THE MORNING WITH HICKIES ALL OVER MY NECK>> ESPECAILLY CUZ U YELL AT ME EVERYTIME I KISS YOUR NECK!
But you dont write about that..
Only that i dont want to make you sandwhiches.. and you dont want to hear about Chris.. yet you go through my phone.
Im not mad.. just frusturated. With life.
Note to all:
Be grateful for the god dam sandwhiches ok?
Call me 907-0275
Scheule this week
Mon 7-11:30
Tues. 7-11
Wed OFF
THRS. OFF
Friday 6-Cl
Saturday 4-11
Sunday 5-10
There u have it.
Im going to blackbeards tonight if anyone wants to join!