Am I more than you bargained for yet?

[whosethatgirl]

only two more weeks til I go back to school. in a way i'm excited to go back, but in another way i really don't want to. i think i'll always have a jealousy streak in me. that streak is gonna kill me one day. lately i've been feeling like the prettiest girl in the world, but when i see pictures and signs and other little things (fuck you facebook) i just lose it. seeing all that makes me want to run for miles on the treadmill, stop eating, and get all this work done to me. seeing it makes me feel unwanted, unloved, and really really ugly. i know i can't do that because its not a possible goal and financially, its not possible. i can't change my hair color or go shopping and buy out american eagle every time i feel gross and awful. its not realistic. i don't know what is though. i don't want to go on pills, but the option is looking pretty tempting now. i just need something better.

Nikki told me about this song, and now i love it!

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest