I know I promised stuff about the convention
But really, does anyone care? I know I should be feeling good, but for some reason I feel sort of down. I have no money, really - nothing. And I should call people and ask for jobs, but I hate begging for an opportunity. I loved my experiences this summer, but I really just blew it with money management. And everytime I ask for some from my parents I feel worse. I don't like the feeling of dependency.
The world is just too expensive nowadays. I have all this guilt, even about buying things that are in the end beneficial. I just used my mom's credit card to buy software for this online course I'm taking from Stanford University, and I have this awful churning in my stomach. It was nearly a hundred dollars for something I don't really need. And while I know it's not like a new tv or an Ipod or something, I just can't get away from the guilt. It's stupid, but I still feel this way.
I had a great evening, I swear I did. Maybe school's starting to get to me. I want my schedule, but I don't want to lost the freedom.
Maybe the guilt is from the notion that I've let my parents down by spending my money unwisely. So now all the things I want to do? Can't really - not until I find an income. Damn it.
I have debts. From now on, I'm saving up, and I'm thinking before I spend. This summer has taught me a lesson. I need to stop asking and consuming, and conserve. Just because I'm well off doesn't mean I should be extravagant.
Augh. This hasn't made me feel better.
Catch ya on the flip side.
The world is just too expensive nowadays. I have all this guilt, even about buying things that are in the end beneficial. I just used my mom's credit card to buy software for this online course I'm taking from Stanford University, and I have this awful churning in my stomach. It was nearly a hundred dollars for something I don't really need. And while I know it's not like a new tv or an Ipod or something, I just can't get away from the guilt. It's stupid, but I still feel this way.
I had a great evening, I swear I did. Maybe school's starting to get to me. I want my schedule, but I don't want to lost the freedom.
Maybe the guilt is from the notion that I've let my parents down by spending my money unwisely. So now all the things I want to do? Can't really - not until I find an income. Damn it.
I have debts. From now on, I'm saving up, and I'm thinking before I spend. This summer has taught me a lesson. I need to stop asking and consuming, and conserve. Just because I'm well off doesn't mean I should be extravagant.
Augh. This hasn't made me feel better.
Catch ya on the flip side.