Today's Match-Up: Pie vs The Lollipop Guild
vs
Pie vs The Lollipop Guild
Without being animate, Pie has managed to defeat its primary baked-good rival, a highly-successful mob boss, a sexually-suggestive fashion faux pass, and a group of ravenous monsters. On the other hand, the Lollipop Guild have defeated seven short communists, a Belgian journalist, a race of failed bears, and a virulent STI. Which is facing the Elite Four in the bracket finals? VOTE NOW!
Winner:
The Lollipop Guild (8 votes)
over
Pie (7 votes)
A very close (if seemingly unpopular) race sees the final victory of the Lollipop Guild, the original shutout kings, over the awesomeness that is pie. We'll see how they fair against the Elite Four pick for the Rando bracket next week.
Featured commentary:
My petard! I've been hoisted by it! Just as I savored my eternal nemesis's quandry, now I am confronted by a choice between the sugary mafia and the food of the gods! Woe is me!
Oh, who am I trying to fool. I loved pie before I even knew what a lollipop was, let alone a Lollipop Guild. Pie remains eternal. In the end times, there will be pie. In the grim future of Warhammer 40K, there is only pie. - jameel
Wow, I missed three of the four super-fights. Oh, well, saved me from having to vote against the Doctor.
This is a tough fight. However, I would note that the Lollipop Guild is not up against "a pie". It is up against Pie.
As it happens, the war between the Guild and Pie has raged for centuries. The Guild began its campaigns by trying to undermine our love for flaky pastry and spread the sales of their confectionery treats. The spread of such holidays as Valentine's Day and Halloween are a direct result of this campaign, resulting in the marginalization of many occult horrors and a dead saint in favour of lollipops and other sugary delights.
Pie's counter-attack was to assert its patriotism. After all, you can be as American as apple pie, but not as American as lollipops. Enshrining itself in American culture, it gathered massive magical energy, becoming like unto a tiny god. Then, it crafted a tornado to launch Dorothy into Oz, destabilizing the government and ultimately leading to the outlawing of magic by the queen Ozma (no, really, read the books). The Lollipop Guild, relying on magic to further their mafioso plots, was required to fall back on brute force - a disasterous drawback. Without their usual tricks, they were soon rounded up by Homeland Security for their threats against a major patriotic symbol.
Pie wins! - ecchs