Dying in the corner. Don't look.
I want to cut it open and let it bleed.
I want to cut it open.
I want to feel the instant gratification.
I want to be numb.
I want the freedom.
But then I'm not free.
My unfair addiction.
Beating me to a bloody pulp.
Over powering my instincts.
Screaming at me YOU'RE WEAK! YOU'R WEAK!
But is it yelling at me,
To do, or not to do?
Yelling at me because I can? Or will?
Or yelling at me I can't? I won't?
Does it want me as much,
As I want it.
Tear me open, and watch.
Watch me spill out.
Set me free.
I want to scream!
Make me free!
Free to feel.
Pain or something real.
Or let me run.
And stop following me.
Kiss my hand.
And kiss me twice.
But I will bleed.
I surrender.
For reasons unknown.
close to wanting that valum and vicadin and a nice bottle of vodka.
What causes these episodes that make me so unstable. This constent attack on my own mind. To lying in bed and staring at the wall in the middle of the day for hours on end. For feeling alone, but knowing I am not. But all for what? I know not what. I long for sleep, and the unkind love of darkness. Kiss my forhead and wish me well. sleep tonight and forever onward? Only in my mind I know, but what now for wishful thinking.
And I know I'll wake in a mourning or two, and feel the calm and know I am fine. But till then, I'll wallow. Not by choice. But to pretending. As I did, when they got me out of bed. Pretending I'm fine. Oh to Pretending. Another day is coming. Whats next?
Don't answer that.
I want to cut it open.
I want to feel the instant gratification.
I want to be numb.
I want the freedom.
But then I'm not free.
My unfair addiction.
Beating me to a bloody pulp.
Over powering my instincts.
Screaming at me YOU'RE WEAK! YOU'R WEAK!
But is it yelling at me,
To do, or not to do?
Yelling at me because I can? Or will?
Or yelling at me I can't? I won't?
Does it want me as much,
As I want it.
Tear me open, and watch.
Watch me spill out.
Set me free.
I want to scream!
Make me free!
Free to feel.
Pain or something real.
Or let me run.
And stop following me.
Kiss my hand.
And kiss me twice.
But I will bleed.
I surrender.
For reasons unknown.
close to wanting that valum and vicadin and a nice bottle of vodka.
What causes these episodes that make me so unstable. This constent attack on my own mind. To lying in bed and staring at the wall in the middle of the day for hours on end. For feeling alone, but knowing I am not. But all for what? I know not what. I long for sleep, and the unkind love of darkness. Kiss my forhead and wish me well. sleep tonight and forever onward? Only in my mind I know, but what now for wishful thinking.
And I know I'll wake in a mourning or two, and feel the calm and know I am fine. But till then, I'll wallow. Not by choice. But to pretending. As I did, when they got me out of bed. Pretending I'm fine. Oh to Pretending. Another day is coming. Whats next?
Don't answer that.