I care but I'm restless
Still on the Alanis kick. At least I don't smoke crack.
How are you kid's doing? Everyone savoring their last couple spoon fulls of sweet summer vacation? I personally am not at prepared to go back to the dreaded "S" word. Not in the least. Usually, by this time I'm suffifently board we're I'm pretty much to the point where anything seems better than watching M*A*S*H marathons on TV Land. Most unfortuantely, I haven't reached that point yet, summer isn't stale, it's still well before it's experation date and I'm trying to scarff it down anyway. It makes you feel kind of nausous.
I think a sizable chunk of my reluctancy comes from the lingering notion of this being my last year in the public school system. I usually fancy myself a little more mature than the majority of my peers, but at this moment, I am a 17 year old girl and I'm scared as hell. Casting aside the very real fact that I have no idea what I want to do with my life, nor do I have any inclination towards anything, sometimes I worry that I forgot how to make friends. I mean, this ain't third grade no more, people arn't impressed with your crayon collection, and I don't bring much to the table in way of personality. One thing I forget though, is about four years ago, I was feeling pretty similar to the way I am now, minus all that "this is the real world now" shit. Sometime in eighth grade, I made the decision that I wasn't going to be in the IB, I was going to break off from the heard and forge my own path. I'm not sure exactly how I arrived at this conclusion, but I realize it was the one of the best (albeit random) deisions I've ever made. My first day of high school, I knew four people, none of whom I had any classes with. I was so jealous of Sonia and Kiri and Sarah who started out with a pre-existing group of friends, when Caraline and I ate lunch alone the first day of school. If you'll recall, I got into a bit of a tift with Sonia that year. It was irrational, and it made no sence, but I'm not sure many of you realize just how alone I felt those first couple of weeks, because, well, I was alone, and feeling like you've lost all your friends in one fatal swoop isn't a lot of fun. I changed a lot that year. While I realize everyone changed immensely threw high school, my reinvention took about two days, not threw natural growth and social experiances. I was tired of being alone. I calmed down, I started talking more, I started listening more, I learned to accept Republicans. Those first few months threw my so far out of my comfort zone that I think my head is still spinning from it. I wouldn't change it for a thing. Even though you all like, got a decent eduation and well, I use "like" every three words. But yeah, personal growth.
Whew, that was a long one.
Today I went to the mall to buy pants and big earrings. I found some at American Eagle, they fit a lot better when I relized that it would make sence to buy a size 8 instead of 10 when everything else I buy there is a size 8. While I haven't actually lost any weight, more of stopped being retarted, going down a pants size was exciting. I like, called people. There was this cute indie boy who was glancing in my general direction when I called Caraline to say "OMFG PANTS SALE!". Yep, he stopped glancing. Anyway, big earrings. Big earrings are my new solution to bad hair. Last night I got out of the shower and put my hair in a bun and feel asleep with it up. When I got up this morning it was like, in a furry wad on the side of head. It scared me, I thought Mr. Kitty borrowed in there and died or something. Anyway, I didn't really feel like doing anything to remedy my dead cat hair, so I straightened out my bangs and coaxed the rest of my hair into a bun. And put big earrings on. See, everyone looks at the earrings, not the hair. I have a similar theory about fashion sence and boob jobs. And I can prove it mathematically.
Oh, so, band camp. It's over now. The show is coming together slowly, but surely. Same as every year more or less. This year, we're playing this Phillip Glass peice for our opener. I don't like Phillip Glass. I mean, I've been in band for what? Eight years now? While I deffinately do not claim to be an expert, I've played a lot of music, I listen to a lot of music, and I feel a little more enlightened than the general public. I don't get it. I'm sure a music professor could sit me down and explain to me the ostenato rhymthems and chord progessions, but to me it sounds like a ring tone on my cell phone. Like, the free kind. In A Gentle Rain in our ballad, and it's pretty much the same song as our ballad from last year, minus Travis tossing Liz around. New Era is our last song. It should be interesting. It's a little more, musical than The Canyon, and well, we've never really ended a show with a dance break before. It will interesting. Or something. Oh, and this year the Eastside game is also our last football game ever and also our senior night, so you better come. For serious. If you don't have like a doctors note then well, I'm deffinately unfriending all of you on my Live Journal. That will show them...
Cara103187: so did you and spitz get anything accomplished from your talk?
princess6lauren8: just the usual
princess6lauren8: he was like "wah wah you hate me" and I was like "quit bitching or I'm going to punch you... go make me a sandwhich"
Cara103187: heh
Okay, I just spent like almost an hour writing all of that. If you don't leave me comments, I'm going to fill up the bath tub with warm water, and I'm going to take some shaving razors. I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR TO GOD! I'LL DO IT!
Nighty night.
How are you kid's doing? Everyone savoring their last couple spoon fulls of sweet summer vacation? I personally am not at prepared to go back to the dreaded "S" word. Not in the least. Usually, by this time I'm suffifently board we're I'm pretty much to the point where anything seems better than watching M*A*S*H marathons on TV Land. Most unfortuantely, I haven't reached that point yet, summer isn't stale, it's still well before it's experation date and I'm trying to scarff it down anyway. It makes you feel kind of nausous.
I think a sizable chunk of my reluctancy comes from the lingering notion of this being my last year in the public school system. I usually fancy myself a little more mature than the majority of my peers, but at this moment, I am a 17 year old girl and I'm scared as hell. Casting aside the very real fact that I have no idea what I want to do with my life, nor do I have any inclination towards anything, sometimes I worry that I forgot how to make friends. I mean, this ain't third grade no more, people arn't impressed with your crayon collection, and I don't bring much to the table in way of personality. One thing I forget though, is about four years ago, I was feeling pretty similar to the way I am now, minus all that "this is the real world now" shit. Sometime in eighth grade, I made the decision that I wasn't going to be in the IB, I was going to break off from the heard and forge my own path. I'm not sure exactly how I arrived at this conclusion, but I realize it was the one of the best (albeit random) deisions I've ever made. My first day of high school, I knew four people, none of whom I had any classes with. I was so jealous of Sonia and Kiri and Sarah who started out with a pre-existing group of friends, when Caraline and I ate lunch alone the first day of school. If you'll recall, I got into a bit of a tift with Sonia that year. It was irrational, and it made no sence, but I'm not sure many of you realize just how alone I felt those first couple of weeks, because, well, I was alone, and feeling like you've lost all your friends in one fatal swoop isn't a lot of fun. I changed a lot that year. While I realize everyone changed immensely threw high school, my reinvention took about two days, not threw natural growth and social experiances. I was tired of being alone. I calmed down, I started talking more, I started listening more, I learned to accept Republicans. Those first few months threw my so far out of my comfort zone that I think my head is still spinning from it. I wouldn't change it for a thing. Even though you all like, got a decent eduation and well, I use "like" every three words. But yeah, personal growth.
Whew, that was a long one.
Today I went to the mall to buy pants and big earrings. I found some at American Eagle, they fit a lot better when I relized that it would make sence to buy a size 8 instead of 10 when everything else I buy there is a size 8. While I haven't actually lost any weight, more of stopped being retarted, going down a pants size was exciting. I like, called people. There was this cute indie boy who was glancing in my general direction when I called Caraline to say "OMFG PANTS SALE!". Yep, he stopped glancing. Anyway, big earrings. Big earrings are my new solution to bad hair. Last night I got out of the shower and put my hair in a bun and feel asleep with it up. When I got up this morning it was like, in a furry wad on the side of head. It scared me, I thought Mr. Kitty borrowed in there and died or something. Anyway, I didn't really feel like doing anything to remedy my dead cat hair, so I straightened out my bangs and coaxed the rest of my hair into a bun. And put big earrings on. See, everyone looks at the earrings, not the hair. I have a similar theory about fashion sence and boob jobs. And I can prove it mathematically.
Oh, so, band camp. It's over now. The show is coming together slowly, but surely. Same as every year more or less. This year, we're playing this Phillip Glass peice for our opener. I don't like Phillip Glass. I mean, I've been in band for what? Eight years now? While I deffinately do not claim to be an expert, I've played a lot of music, I listen to a lot of music, and I feel a little more enlightened than the general public. I don't get it. I'm sure a music professor could sit me down and explain to me the ostenato rhymthems and chord progessions, but to me it sounds like a ring tone on my cell phone. Like, the free kind. In A Gentle Rain in our ballad, and it's pretty much the same song as our ballad from last year, minus Travis tossing Liz around. New Era is our last song. It should be interesting. It's a little more, musical than The Canyon, and well, we've never really ended a show with a dance break before. It will interesting. Or something. Oh, and this year the Eastside game is also our last football game ever and also our senior night, so you better come. For serious. If you don't have like a doctors note then well, I'm deffinately unfriending all of you on my Live Journal. That will show them...
Cara103187: so did you and spitz get anything accomplished from your talk?
princess6lauren8: just the usual
princess6lauren8: he was like "wah wah you hate me" and I was like "quit bitching or I'm going to punch you... go make me a sandwhich"
Cara103187: heh
Okay, I just spent like almost an hour writing all of that. If you don't leave me comments, I'm going to fill up the bath tub with warm water, and I'm going to take some shaving razors. I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR TO GOD! I'LL DO IT!
Nighty night.