Drowning Lessons
Title: Drowning lessons
Author: whoneveryawn
Rating: G
Pairing: Ryro/Bden
POV: Bden's POV
Summary: Without a sound he took me down.
Disclaimer: This is nothing more than a product of my imagination.
Beta: Rai
Author Notes: I think I have a hobby of torturing Ryden. In my last fic Brendon got stabbed, try to guess what happens in this one. The title came from a My Chemical Romance song.
Warning: Borderline Friendship >:)
“Brendon, don’t jump!”
Ryan was fast but gravity worked faster.
It was too late; I was in mid air when Ryan finally felt like saving me. A few minutes ago I could remember my head aching and Ryan showing me a wedding ring that wasn’t for me. I felt nauseous and I felt like jumping, so I did. Into the water, into the salty waves, I wanted to feel them crash against my skin. I keep on hearing his voice over and over again, he was happy, he finally got her back. I’m happy for him but I’m not happy for me. I hate myself for being so slow, if I told him earlier I could have got him.
“Brendon!!” Ryan screamed. Time was purposely slowing down, why can’t I just fall already!?
I’ve always loved falling. I thought falling for Ryan was the best thing that ever happened, but this proves that falling in the sea and drowning is better.
I saw Ryan outstretched his arm to me. Wide eyes, terrified eyes, they were beautiful. It’s not a pain that they will be the last beautiful things I will see on God’s green earth.
I felt my back kiss the surface of the howling water. It was freezing cold but I didn’t mind, it felt so good.
The surface of the water was like a mirror breaking. The broken glass scattered in the air, a couple of splashes on my face and some tried to make their way to Ryan but they all fell back in the water with me. My whole body was shivering as I sink in. The sky was bright only on the other side of my face, the sun was setting and it was falling too, just like me. I wasn’t alone.
Everything turned into a blur. The waves underneath the water’s surface were pulling me deeper and deeper. Down in under its core. It didn’t matter to me at all; if I was holding my breath or not. I didn’t care. I had a soft focus, still, on a small spot of light above me. The light was showing itself, I can see it. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can’t move my fingers anymore; my clothes were playing on the surface of my skin. My eyes were starting to sting, they wanted to close but something was stopping them. The light was blurring. It was fading. Everything was disappearing and I kept on falling down. Why am I still alive?
There was a blinding flash.
“Oh! So you’re Brendon Urie? I’m Ryan, Ryan Ross. This is my best friend, our drummer, Spencer Smith. Do I have to introduce this guy to you?” he asked me pointing at Brent. His face was charming; his eyes were a bit drowsy that time. Spencer was just smiling at me and Brent was laughing. I didn’t know why but I didn’t care at the time, my attention was on him.
The sea was whispering to me. Why am I still alive?
“We got signed up! Holy Shit! Pete’s coming to Vegas for us! Do you guys know what that means?”
Spencer still had his jaw dropped. Brent was already partying like some guy who won the lottery. I was staring at him with wide teary eyes and holding his wrists as he was shaking my shoulder.
A nauseous feeling and hands freezing, it’s hard to last long. Why am I still alive?
“It’s a whole lot easier the second time around but I wouldn’t mind a helping hand. What do you say we record some of your songs? I’m sure the fans will love to hear your work, you’re really good at it, Brendon.”
I was looking at him and he was giving me the guitar. I grabbed it right away and took a piece of scrunched up paper from my pocket. I started singing. I sang my heart out. He liked it.
Hushing sounds. More drowned whispers. Then it was dead silent. Why am I still alive?
“Change is perspective. If you don’t like it, then we have to go on separate ways.”
The dial tone was the last thing I heard after that call. I broke down into sobs and called Spencer right away and he suspected that maybe it wasn’t really going to happen, maybe it was a joke. It wasn’t. They were gone for good.
I wasn't aware that I was falling. I didn't know that I fell. But it was the best thing that happened to me. I fell for him. Without a sound he took me down. Deeper and deeper, until I couldn't take it anymore, I was drowning.
Am I still alive?
My eyes slowly opened. I saw the light again, I was on my way. But all of a sudden it shattered into millions of pieces. There were bubbles and a roaring sound, exactly like the sea was in pain. I saw someone swimming towards me. I couldn’t make out who it was. It didn’t matter. It was too late. My heart was slowing down; my breath was running out, I was lying on the ocean floor. My eyes shut. Everything disappeared.
Alive…
••••••••••••••••••••
"Bren, come on!"
"You're alright.. Please come back!"
"Brendon! Goddamn it! Don't do this! Wake the fuck up!"
Wait. Angels don't curse and demons don't ask people to come back.
Am I alive? Why?
"We got a pulse! He's coming back!"
I felt my chest being pumped; my back was laid flat on cold wet surface. I could hear people talking. Three familiar voices asking me to come back. Who are they?
The water came rushing from my throat and I started choking. My head banged on the ground where I was lying down and my eyes slowly open. My sight was a blur, but I could see people in white backing away from me. Three people stayed looking down on me. I can't seem make their faces out but I could tell they were smiling.
Someone grabbed my cheeks. He shoved my hair away from my face. He leaned down and embrace me. Next thing I knew I was sitting up and someone was crying on my shoulders, choking tears and telling me not do to what I just did over and over again. He was soaking wet like me. His hair on my shoulders, his clothes that touched my bare chest, his hands wrapped around my back and my neck. He was dripping wet with sea water.
My eye sight was clear. The light was surprisingly blinding. I saw Jon and Spencer kneeling in front of me. Jon was smiling and so was Spencer. I couldn't help but smile back, they looked so happy.
"We thought we lost you there." Jon said. Spencer laughed a little and nodded.
"Yeah. You really got us worried Bren. Don't ever do that again!" Spencer scolded me.
"Please... Don't ever do that again..."
I remembered that someone had me in a tight embrace and was crying on my shoulders. The smell was familiar. The voice was familiar. The sobs were familiar. The embrace was familiar.
"Ryan..."
I put my hands on his back and gave it a light pat. He let me go and looked at me. His eyes were red in tears and his lips were curved into a smile.
"I'm sorry..."
I missed him. I really did.
"I'm sorry too..."
I embraced him again. I grasped on his shirt, I can vow never to let him go again.
"Don't ever scare me like that,ok?"
"I promise."
But I can't. He has his on vows to say.
People fall for other people. Sometimes they don't know what the reasons are, sometimes it just happens, sometimes it doesn't work out. Some are always falling, falling and falling endlessly with no where to land. They fall without even knowing what they could hit. That's why other people exist to catch those who have fallen, whether in love or in despair.
Why am I still alive? Now I know.