The Hounds of Baskerville
[Sherlock has just insulted Mrs. Hudson; she's run off in tears]
John Watson: Go after her and apologize.
Sherlock Holmes: Apologise? Oh John, I envy you so much.
John Watson: You envy me?
Sherlock Holmes: Your mind; it's so placid, straight-forward, barely used. Mine's like an engine, racing out of control; a rocket tearing itself to pieces, trapped on the launchpad... I need a case!
John Watson: You just solved one! By harpooning a dead pig, apparently.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, that was this morning. When's the next one?
John Watson: Nothing on the website? [Sherlock stands and hands John a laptop showing a message on "the Science of Deduction" website]
Sherlock Holmes: "Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I can't find Bluebell anywhere. Please, please, please can you help?"
John Watson: Bluebell?
Sherlock Holmes: A rabbit, John!
John Watson: Oh.
Sherlock Holmes: Ah but there's more; before Bluebell disappeared it turned luminous like a fairy according to little Kirsty, then the next morning Bluebell was gone. Hutch still locked, no sign of a forced entry. [gasps] What am I saying? this is brilliant. Phone Lestrade, tell him there's an escaped rabbit.
John Watson: You serious?
Sherlock Holmes: It's this or Cluedo.
John Watson: Ah, no. We are never playing that again.
Sherlock Holmes: Why not?
John Watson: Because it's not actually possible for the victim to have done it, Sherlock, that's why!
Sherlock Holmes: It was the only possible solution!
John Watson: It's not in the rules.
Sherlock Holmes: Well then the rules are wrong! [Doorbell rings]
John Watson: Single ring.
Sherlock Holmes: Maximum pressure, just under a half-second.
Both: Client!