times like these
well it seems the circle of life has come back around once again.
The abridged story:
Friday we all go out, i sleep at sharons, sharon and i have sex on saturday morning.
Saturday we all go out, i tell sharon that "I know we arent dating or anything, but i just want to say that we should feel free to dance/flirt with whoever we want without feeling guilty or jealous or anything." she agreed. While out, i meet this girl and TALK (just talk) to her by her car. Sharon gets pissed. When we all go in to dance, she is dancing and making out with Nick. But, I wasn't worried at all, I just "oh well, no big deal".
We all go back to Megans and before I go home, I tell Sharon in a half-jokingly manner to go straight home and not to do anything stupid. But, instead, she stays.
The next day she calls and asks me to meet her parents because they were in toen meeting Johnnie, her soon-to-be roommate. I go over and meet them (very nice people) and when they leave she gets really quiet. When I ask whats wrong, she tells me she "did something bad". She then proceeds to tell me that she slept over and slept with Nick and that she was sorry. I say it's no big deal, but it's kinda weird that it's with a friend in the "circle" but I thought it was funny and laugh it off. I asked if she wanted to start seeing him and she told me no, that she regretted it, that she was sorry and thought I would have been mad. I laugh it off and told her not to worry about it.
I figured that would be the end of things, but apparantly I was wrong. When we all decided to go out Wednesday, she and Nick were already there. I assumed she gave him a ride, but whatever. When I show up, she gets up to give me a hug and she has this quirky smile on her face as if she was approaching a wounded dog. I hug her and ask, "so you have a date tonight, eh?" she laughs a bit and says no. I start drinking and everyone eventually gets drunk. Someone started a game of truth or dare, sharon sat by nick the entire time, kisses him during the game, and then everyone starts whispering. Gibby whispers to nick and then high fives him (probably said something like 'haha good work on getting sharon blah blah blah blah im cool, fuck joe'. Gibby whispers to Sharon. Kim and Sharon whisper. Everyone whispers. Fuck everyone, so I just drink more and decided just to keep to myself and pretend I'm having fun. Low and behold Sharon approaches me after a while and asks what's wrong. I tell her nothing is wrong. She says she feels that I am having a bad time because of her (well no shit). She asks if I'm mad at her. I tell her not to worry about me. Then she proceeds to say "I really care about you, you mean a lot to me" Then I look at her and say "you said the same thing to me last time you were at the kaboose and drunk" then she repeats herself. I tell her not to worry about me. Eventually everyone leaves the bar, I find out later Nick doesnt come home (where could he be?) Sharons, obviously.
So, I've been talking to Fee and Megan and Rob. And I pretty much explained to them that I don;t know if I should be mad or just let it go. And if I am angry, does that mean I'm selfish? I REALLY don't want to come off as trying to be controlling. The way I feel is this: I HONESTLY don't care who sharon sleeps with while sleeping with me. While I know we are not in a "relationship", there are feelings attached to sex. So, she fucked the Cole guy while she and I were in our "fling" - that I could handle...fine..don't know the guy. Was I disappointed? sure, but no big deal. Then she did the same with Jordan...sucked a bit more, but okay, I wasn't that great of friends with Jordan, I got over it. But now...Nick, a fairly close friends and collegue for the past 3 years.
Some thoughts:
1. Why does Nick feel it is okay to do this when he knows Sharon and I were "something"? I wonder what would have happened if I slept with Kim right around the time she and he started dating. I would have been the antichrist of the group.
2. If Sharon "cares" about me so much and constantly tells Megan how she likes me so much, why fuck my friend, apologize, and then do it again?
3. Could I have just fucked Sharon's friend, Megan, or Stacy, and gotten off this scott-free? No.
So I really don't see how I am in the wrong here at all. The problem I am having is if I let it go, can I just *forget* about what Nick did? Also, if I let it go, how do I treat Sharon from now on? Do I not talk to her, do I just not hang out as much? What do I do? (I DO know that I won't be sleeping with her again). But, if this is a problem I should handle and NOT let it go, what do I do? If I talk to Nick, what do I say?
Some hours I want to tell Sharon and Nick how fucked they were and tell her/him the thoughts I outlined above. Other hours I want to just let it all go and say it isn't worth it, stop talking to them as much, and just do my own thing.
I don't know what to do.
The abridged story:
Friday we all go out, i sleep at sharons, sharon and i have sex on saturday morning.
Saturday we all go out, i tell sharon that "I know we arent dating or anything, but i just want to say that we should feel free to dance/flirt with whoever we want without feeling guilty or jealous or anything." she agreed. While out, i meet this girl and TALK (just talk) to her by her car. Sharon gets pissed. When we all go in to dance, she is dancing and making out with Nick. But, I wasn't worried at all, I just "oh well, no big deal".
We all go back to Megans and before I go home, I tell Sharon in a half-jokingly manner to go straight home and not to do anything stupid. But, instead, she stays.
The next day she calls and asks me to meet her parents because they were in toen meeting Johnnie, her soon-to-be roommate. I go over and meet them (very nice people) and when they leave she gets really quiet. When I ask whats wrong, she tells me she "did something bad". She then proceeds to tell me that she slept over and slept with Nick and that she was sorry. I say it's no big deal, but it's kinda weird that it's with a friend in the "circle" but I thought it was funny and laugh it off. I asked if she wanted to start seeing him and she told me no, that she regretted it, that she was sorry and thought I would have been mad. I laugh it off and told her not to worry about it.
I figured that would be the end of things, but apparantly I was wrong. When we all decided to go out Wednesday, she and Nick were already there. I assumed she gave him a ride, but whatever. When I show up, she gets up to give me a hug and she has this quirky smile on her face as if she was approaching a wounded dog. I hug her and ask, "so you have a date tonight, eh?" she laughs a bit and says no. I start drinking and everyone eventually gets drunk. Someone started a game of truth or dare, sharon sat by nick the entire time, kisses him during the game, and then everyone starts whispering. Gibby whispers to nick and then high fives him (probably said something like 'haha good work on getting sharon blah blah blah blah im cool, fuck joe'. Gibby whispers to Sharon. Kim and Sharon whisper. Everyone whispers. Fuck everyone, so I just drink more and decided just to keep to myself and pretend I'm having fun. Low and behold Sharon approaches me after a while and asks what's wrong. I tell her nothing is wrong. She says she feels that I am having a bad time because of her (well no shit). She asks if I'm mad at her. I tell her not to worry about me. Then she proceeds to say "I really care about you, you mean a lot to me" Then I look at her and say "you said the same thing to me last time you were at the kaboose and drunk" then she repeats herself. I tell her not to worry about me. Eventually everyone leaves the bar, I find out later Nick doesnt come home (where could he be?) Sharons, obviously.
So, I've been talking to Fee and Megan and Rob. And I pretty much explained to them that I don;t know if I should be mad or just let it go. And if I am angry, does that mean I'm selfish? I REALLY don't want to come off as trying to be controlling. The way I feel is this: I HONESTLY don't care who sharon sleeps with while sleeping with me. While I know we are not in a "relationship", there are feelings attached to sex. So, she fucked the Cole guy while she and I were in our "fling" - that I could handle...fine..don't know the guy. Was I disappointed? sure, but no big deal. Then she did the same with Jordan...sucked a bit more, but okay, I wasn't that great of friends with Jordan, I got over it. But now...Nick, a fairly close friends and collegue for the past 3 years.
Some thoughts:
1. Why does Nick feel it is okay to do this when he knows Sharon and I were "something"? I wonder what would have happened if I slept with Kim right around the time she and he started dating. I would have been the antichrist of the group.
2. If Sharon "cares" about me so much and constantly tells Megan how she likes me so much, why fuck my friend, apologize, and then do it again?
3. Could I have just fucked Sharon's friend, Megan, or Stacy, and gotten off this scott-free? No.
So I really don't see how I am in the wrong here at all. The problem I am having is if I let it go, can I just *forget* about what Nick did? Also, if I let it go, how do I treat Sharon from now on? Do I not talk to her, do I just not hang out as much? What do I do? (I DO know that I won't be sleeping with her again). But, if this is a problem I should handle and NOT let it go, what do I do? If I talk to Nick, what do I say?
Some hours I want to tell Sharon and Nick how fucked they were and tell her/him the thoughts I outlined above. Other hours I want to just let it all go and say it isn't worth it, stop talking to them as much, and just do my own thing.
I don't know what to do.