(no subject)
On the weekends, J. is off at work and I spend my time procrastinating. I wait until the early evening to shower and I bathe myself until I run out of hot water. I stand and watch myself as the fog disipates from the mirror, a towel shielding my body. I stare into my own eyes and try to love myself. Only then do I drop the towel to see my body and its imperfections. In that moment they seem just a bit less terrible. I wrap a robe around myself. I bought this robe as part of a halloween costume and meant to return it, but never bothered. I don't dress until I have to. I try to fall in love with the cool air touching my skin. I try to accept the way my thighs touch. I know I will fail, but it's my weekly ritual of self-acceptance.