Here's a health, Carolina!
Over the past two days I've been rummaging through my room, purging all the clothes and other things that I don't want. I've packed up dozens of pairs of shoes into bags, and thrown old jeans and tops into trash bags. I'm really trying to thin out the mess in my life, but it's not as easy as throwing away things. I need to throw away the bad feelings that are left after this boy debacle that happened at the end of this semester. But I just can't do it. I don't know how. It seems like more and more these days, all I want is a BOY. School has ended, and I'm away from all of the people that have helped me through these slumps, but now that I'm on my own, it's going to be tough. And friends aren't just a few floors away. I have to DRIVE to get there. A pain in my ass, that is.
Tonight I watched 27 Dresses, again. I cried. I haven't cried at a movie in so long. Hell, I haven't cried in so long. Being at school, and constantly being around people, I just didn't have the ability to cry that outwardly. But home, in my bed, watching my tv, I cried. Instantly I felt a relief. I feel like maybe there are a lot of tears built up over this year. By no means was this a bad school year, I just used to be a crier, and now I'm not. Crying used to be my relief for stress and frustration and annoyance at people. I don't know what I've been doing over the past 9 months instead of this, but whatever it was probably wasn't as therapeutic.
All that being said, Carolina was amazing this semester. In the fall, I had my doubts, but I really made it my own. I love it there. I couldn't imagine going to school anywhere else. Freshman year I did so many firsts (not like that, eesh!) and made so many memories. Going to school out of state was the best decision I ever made. And now when I'm going about town, I can just feel this change in me. I've never been more independent, and confident. I LOVE IT. I love my Carolina Girl status.
Tonight I watched 27 Dresses, again. I cried. I haven't cried at a movie in so long. Hell, I haven't cried in so long. Being at school, and constantly being around people, I just didn't have the ability to cry that outwardly. But home, in my bed, watching my tv, I cried. Instantly I felt a relief. I feel like maybe there are a lot of tears built up over this year. By no means was this a bad school year, I just used to be a crier, and now I'm not. Crying used to be my relief for stress and frustration and annoyance at people. I don't know what I've been doing over the past 9 months instead of this, but whatever it was probably wasn't as therapeutic.
All that being said, Carolina was amazing this semester. In the fall, I had my doubts, but I really made it my own. I love it there. I couldn't imagine going to school anywhere else. Freshman year I did so many firsts (not like that, eesh!) and made so many memories. Going to school out of state was the best decision I ever made. And now when I'm going about town, I can just feel this change in me. I've never been more independent, and confident. I LOVE IT. I love my Carolina Girl status.