No, I didn't take this from Jonghyun and Sekyung sharing earphones [HyoSun]
ORANGE EARPHONES, THAT’S ME
In between classes she’d rather stay in one place. She’d rather sit on a bench, find an empty hallway and sit on the floor, or read in an empty classroom - anywhere as long as her ears are plugged and the playlist is set. Shuffling is an option, too. It doesn’t matter that much nowadays, just as long as she hears something.
When she needs to read for class she does it with music in the background. When she needs to write a short paragraph on what she expects to learn in a classroom filled with people she may or may not know she does it with music in the background. When she needs to talk to herself and prove her friends are right that she can be a bit crazy she does it with music in the background. When she needs to keep herself from floating toward self-pity and possible non-existence she does it with music in the background. Music can’t be her life. She wouldn’t mind if it were, but it has to remain as is: in the background.
She’s in an empty classroom, reading for the next class.
Sometimes someone-
“Yo, whatcha doin’?”
-takes one earphone out.
And the music stops for a split-second.
“Hey, you,” she replies, smiling.
“You’re reading already?” the friend says, inserting in her ear the ear phone she took out earlier.
“Yeah. I’m on break so…” she replies.
“Change the song,” the friends says, looking at the hand-out.
She presses next and the music’s back on track.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” she tells her friend.
The friend shakes her head. “Professor called in sick.”
“Ah.”
“Oh you know what? When I was on my way here there was this guy who…”
They talk with music in the background.
When the bell rings they part. They don’t mind, as long as there’s tomorrow, as long as they managed to share a short while. Professors don’t call in sick all the time and empty classrooms fill up. People they may or may not know pass by, sit down and take notes. They do, too. This time, though, earphones can’t bind them. When one has to go she pulls away without having to worry about the other’s earphone falling out. They just walk, keeping their ears plugged any way they can until they meet again.
She’s sitting on a bench trying to write something for the next class.
Her favorite song is almost-
“Morning!”
-over.
She presses the earphone deep into her ear. It almost fell off when Sunny arrived and pulled the other one out.
“Morning,” she replies.
Sunny smiles. “Press back!”
“Eh?”
“To the previous song.”
She presses back. Her favorite song starts playing.
She laughs. “Are you psychic or something?”
Sunny laughs. “Saw the title before it ended.”
She rolls her eyes. “Really now?”
“Well if you don’t believe me, fine. I’m the one who can’t believe you still have this stupid song. Don’t tell me it’s still your favorite.”
She nods.
They both laugh. They laugh with music in the background.
Weeks after week she counts how many times they have had to part. She counts the classes she has that Sunny doesn’t have. She counts the breaks Sunny has that she doesn’t have. She counts the number of hours Sunny spends in organization meetings that she spends at home. She counts the number of trains she lets pass by that Sunny doesn’t have to catch. It’s like playing a game: Spot the difference.
Another school week starts. They have to go down different halls and they have to raise their hands to answer different questions. They have to hand different papers in that they may or may not have talked about online the other night. They have to go on bathroom breaks and enter restrooms on different floors in different buildings at different times. They have to go through this again next week.
She found an empty hallway. She’s sitting on the floor trying to talk to herself.
“Kim Hyoyeon you can do this,” she mutters. She clutches her cue cards and breathes in deep. “You can do this. You practiced last night.”
Some song is playing. She put her player on shuffle.
She breathes in deep again. Sweat runs down her back. The song reaches the bridge.
She sings along eventually: “Then there are things you just can’t do… Yeah, yeah. Look up and you’ll-”
Sunny takes the earphone, smiling as usual. She sits down and places an arm around Hyoyeon’s neck. “Hm, this is a nice song,” she says.
“It’s almost finished, though,” Hyoyeon replies. “Just one more chorus.”
Sunny doesn’t reply.
Hyoyeon rests her head against Sunny’s. “You think I’ll do fine?” she mumbles.
“Did you study?”
“Yeah.”
“You practiced?”
“Yes.”
“You know your project well enough to explain it to me?”
Hyoyeon bites down on her lower lip. The last chorus is nearing. The instrumental seems neverending.
“Explain it to me,” Sunny says. “Pretend I’m the professor.”
Hyoyeon shakes her head.
Sunny laughs. “Oh come on.”
The last chorus starts. Hyoyeon starts with it: “The age of reason has caused the academe to adopt the mentality that students are not mere ‘customers’ of the academic institution they are enrolled in but are, moreover, individuals who are capable of contributing to the learning experience as much as they are able to absorb what the instructor provides. Studies have shown that spaces conducive for learning are…”
She clutches her cue cards, fighting the urge to refer to them. Sweat keeps running down her back and now from her forehead down to her neck. She feels Sunny nod after every statement. She can’t move, but she keeps talking. She stresses the important names, the important dates, the important parts she told herself to highlight in her Powerpoint presentation but forgot to do so last night. The last chorus-
She stops as soon as the song ends, as soon as her lower lip was in between Sunny’s lips. The next song starts. She kisses back. She kisses back with music in the background.
They didn’t know where that kiss came from. Was it the empty hallway? Was it to calm Hyoyeon’s nerves? Was it that seemingly neverending instrumental before the last chorus? One day, before they left for different classrooms, they told each other they must have merely forgotten that they have always wanted to do it, that week after week the differences they encountered must have distracted them from sharing that first kiss. Now not only earphones bind them. They can pull away, breathe, and share another kiss if they wanted to. Nothing has to fall off and they don’t have to hear anything. Simple.
She’s in her head, battling self-pity and possible non-existence.
She forgot whether she put her player on shuffle or not. It doesn’t matter now.
Simple, or so she thought. The differences were too much. They spotted too much.
She has another class after this break. Sunny’s professor probably called in sick again. It doesn’t really matter anymore. Sunny isn’t coming to snatch the other earphone, but she’s here still keeping her ears plugged. She pushes her earphones so deep into her ears that she feels the vibrations enter the tunnel. It tickles somewhat, but everything else hurts. She turns the volume up. She’s waiting for her favorite song. Once it plays she’s hoping Sunny will walk by a sign somewhere and she’ll see a word that will remind her of this song. Maybe then she’ll find it in herself to suddenly want to go to an empty classroom.
“Who am I kidding?” Hyoyeon mutters to herself. She didn’t hear herself say anything. The volume is turned up and Sunny doesn’t want to pull the other earphone out. She asks herself why she’s doing this. Why is she waiting when she knows-
“I guess now it’s okay,” she tells herself, still not hearing herself. “Music can be my life now.”
She sits back, fastforwards to her favorite song and starts living. It’s only now that she notices that her earphones are orange. It didn’t matter before, when Sunny’s smile was the only color, the only thing that made a difference in their days that she loved. Now it’s just her. It’s just her in the background.