YulHyun (Yeah, yeah. I know it's supposed to be labeled SeoRi but I like it better this way)
OVER FOREVER
She wants to get married. Just hearing that sweet promise of forever is music to her ears. Not everyone dreams of it and neither did she, until she realized that one person really is enough, that wanting that one person to be enough is enough. It was her choice.
She takes a sip of her coffee and takes one more peek at the pile of papers on her desk. It used to be so troublesome for her to go through each page, checking for inconsistencies and jotting them down for the next draft - being an ambassador is hard. Now, she has the strength to smile, knowing she already has something to look forward to, like hearing her-
“Juhyun, I’m home.”
She smiles upon hearing her name. She leans back and willingly gives herself to the pair of arms waiting behind her. The back of her head turns warm and from there it spreads to her cheeks. She breathes in slowly, taking in the faint scent of the air freshener she bought for their car last weekend. Then something enters her ear: warm breath. She takes in what’s left of that small kiss on the ear and smiles again. Everything is warm.
“Welcome home,” she says upon being released. She stands up and turns to the newly arrived figure clad in faded jeans and a brown cardigan that hung loosely above a plain white shirt.
“Well, you’re bubbly today,” goes the reply.
Juhyun shrugs her shoulders.
“That’s a good thing. Oh hey, I was thinking we could go to dinner later.”
“Dinner?” Juhyun says, tilting her reading glasses upward. “What for, unnie?”
“Oh you know…”
Juhyun was about to ask when she suddenly recalled-
It’s our anniversary today. “Unnie, do you mean-”
“Ssshh. Just wait for tonight. We’ll try to make it special.”
Juhyun responds with a slight smile. This is their third year together and she’s been waiting. Dinners are okay and going out of town just to sightsee and talk is okay, too. As long as she’s with this unnie anything is okay, better if it’s just the two of them and undeniably the best if it could last forever.
“Uhm…Yuri unnie…” she starts to say. They’ve been standing in silence for a while.
“What is it?”
Juhyun opens her mouth once more to speak but is forced to lower her head. A ball of force rises from the pit of her stomach to that spot between the chest and the throat, and breathing becomes a struggle. The tears stream down her cheeks.
“Woah! What’s the matter?!”
Juhyun swallows but feels nothing go down her throat, as if life and matter left her body with the tears she released. She looks up slightly and catches a glimpse of Yuri wrapping both arms around her. “Unnie…” she mumbles.
“I’m right here,” Yuri replies, stroking Juhyun’s back. She lets out a small giggle. “What’s the matter with you, crying all of a sudden like this?”
Juhyun does not reply. She quickly inhales to keep her runny nose at bay and then hugs Yuri back as tightly as she can. She holds on, burying her tear-covered face in Yuri’s neck.
“Don’t tell me you don’t want to celebrate our anniversary today,” Yuri says, somewhat hesitating as she keeps the pauses in between words a bit longer than usual. “Don’t tell me you don’t-”
“Of course not, unnie,” Juhyun manages to reply. Her throat had gone dry the moment she started crying and her voice nearly cracked. It doesn’t matter. After all, the reason why she has enough strength to force a reply out of herself is standing right in front of her. A dry throat is nothing. The embarrassment from hearing her voice sound so small means nothing.
“Then what is it?” Yuri says, turning her head so her lips now graze part of Juhyun’s cheek.
“I’m just happy, that’s all,” Juhyun replies, now managing to hold back the sniffling.
Yuri takes a deep breath and then exhales. She manages a smile. “Sheesh… is that really it? You sure?”
Juhyun nods and she feels Yuri’s lips on her cheek as she does. She moves her cheek closer and nods once more.
“Now what are you doing?” Yuri asks with a laugh as she pushes Juhyun slightly away from her to check her expression.
Juhyun smiles. “Nothing, unnie. Hm, I better finish the paperwork now so I’ll have time to get ready for later. What about you? Don’t you still need to go back to work? Are you gonna take the car again?”
“Nah,” Yuri replies. She leans forward and touches Juhyun’s nose with hers. “I’ll be right here waiting for you to finish your paperwork. I can serve you coffee and stuff.”
Juhyun giggles, lowering her head a little. She knows she’s blushing. “You may be playing a waitress in that play of yours, unnie, but that doesn’t mean you can do it at home, too.”
Yuri gasps with widened eyes as she moves her head back, breaking the cozy bond of their noses. “Omo! Are you saying I’m doing a bad job?”
Juhyun shakes her head and giggles again. “No, no! It’s just that here at home I just want you to be you. Most of the time you aren’t even here because you practice late and you go to different cities to perform so now that you’re here with me… I just want us to be us. I like it when we’re like this, when everything seems so together.”
“Okay,” Yuri replies. “Whatever you want.”
Dinner was okay, as usual.
“So here’s a toast to our third year!” Yuri says, raising her glass.
“Happy anniversary, unnie,” Juhyun replies, raising her glass.
A tiny clink.
They both take a sip of their mineral water and exchange smiles.
Yuri giggles, almost spilling her drink.
Juhyun raises an eyebrow. “What is it, unnie?”
“It’s just that we’re drinking water again,” Yuri replies. “But that’s okay. I know you don’t like drinking.”
“I’m sorry. If you want then we can go buy-”
“We’re in the middle of a lake, Juhyun,” Yuri says, looking around. “I don’t think we can just get up and buy that easily.”
Juhyun lowers her head. “Sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t be like that,” Yuri replies. She places her now empty glass back inside the picnic basket and then slowly moves closer to Juhyun who is currently sitting across from her on the small boat they rented. She lifts Juhyun’s chin with her index finger and thumb and smiles. “I was just kidding. Relax, will you?”
Juhyun gives a slight nod. She diverts her gaze to the water, leaving Yuri’s dark searching eyes.
“Talk to me,” Yuri says. “What’s going on?”
Juhyun moves her head, asking for the release of her chin. Yuri complies.
“Is it work?” Yuri asks, holding Juhyun’s free hand with both of hers. “Or is it me? Did I do something wrong?”
“It’s not you,” Juhyun replies. “I like being with you, unnie. I want to stay with you forever.”
“I know. That’s why I’m right here. I’m right here, Juhyun.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
Juhyun fills her lungs with new air and starts to clear her throat. “I just want to know if you like being with me, too.”
“Of course I do,” Yuri answers. “You don’t even need to ask me that ‘cause you should know.”
“I just want to be sure. Before anything else, I just want to know that we’ll be able to make it through, you know? In spite of every argument or how much work stresses me out or how far away you always seem to be because you’re doing what you love, I just want to know that we can be together. Whatever happens-” She starts to sob. It happened so fast that she barely felt the sharp pain in her nostrils, the one that signals the release of her tears.
Yuri does not reply. She pulls Juhyun close and holds her.
“What…Whatever ha-happens… Unnie, I-”
“You want to get married?”
Juhyun senses the coldness in Yuri’s voice, almost like an instant rejection. Yes, she does want to get married, but if the mere mention of it causes Yuri’s warmth to dwindle-
“Tell me, Juhyun, what’s so nice about getting married?”
“Then… I can stay with you forever,” Juhyun replies. Her tears are at a temporary pause. She holds them back because right now she wants to be strong. She wants to be strong for herself, for Yuri, and for what she wants them to be.
“Death will tear us apart. There’s no forever,” Yuri says.
“I like to believe that there is,” Juhyun replies. She settles her chin on Yuri’s shoulder and tries to feel that Yuri’s arms are still warm just to make sure that she’s still in Yuri’s arms, just to make sure that they’re still together. Holding her glass tightly with one hand doesn’t seem to matter anymore. “I know that we’ll die someday and maybe then we won’t see each other anymore. Even though that’s true, I think a lifetime already is forever. It’s enough. I really think it’s enough, unnie.”
Yuri closes her eyes. She tightens her hold on Juhyun’s body and tries not to breathe out too loudly. Tear start to line her cheeks.
“Unnie, are you still with me?” Juhyun mumbles. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”’
“I’m right here,” Yuri whispers. She presses her lips on the side of Juhyun’s head and whispers it again and again: “I’m right here. I’ll always be here.”
Dinner started at sundown. Now the moon is out and the winds blow hard and cold. Yuri wipes Juhyun’s cheeks with both palms and smiles while her tears run freely down to her neck, some spilling on the boat’s flooring.
“Are you okay, Yuri unnie?” Juhyun says.
Yuri nods. “Hey.”
“Yes?”
“We’ll think it through together, okay? Getting married, I mean.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I guess we can just-”
“Whatever. Let’s just give it time. You okay with that?”
Juhyun’s cheeks puff up. She smiles. “Okay.”
“In the meantime,” Yuri starts to say. She takes the glass from Juhyun’s hand, drinks the leftover water and then places it back inside the picnic basket. She takes both of Juhyun’s hands and looks into her eyes. “Just think of it this way: as of now we’re spending our 1095th day together. Out of a lifetime, that’s 1095 days. That’s 1095 days over forever, right? Mathematically.”
Juhyun giggles. “Right.”
Yuri smiles. As her cheeks rise the moonlight exposes the tear tracks. “And then next year we can add another 365 days and then another 365 days and then it’ll go on and on. No matter how many sets of 365 go by, I’ll still be right here and we’ll be celebrating our anniversary. Even when we get past 5000 days over forever… I’ll be here with you.”
“What about leap years, though?”
“Huh?”
“Well, leap years have 366 days instead of 365 and you said that you’ll only be with me if-”
Yuri laughs. She holds Juhyun’s hands tighter. “You just have to be such a geek, don’t you?”
Juhyun shrugs her shoulders and then smiles. “I’m just saying.”
They share another hug under one starry sky, the starry sky that seems to go on and on and on into forever. But it doesn’t matter. What matters right now, is their forever. Juhyun feels that Yuri is warm again. Everything is warm. The thought of spending the next year together crosses her mind and she smiles - another 365 days over forever.
She wants to get married. Just hearing that sweet promise of forever is music to her ears. Not everyone dreams of it and neither did she, until she realized that one person really is enough, that wanting that one person to be enough is enough. It was her choice.
She takes a sip of her coffee and takes one more peek at the pile of papers on her desk. It used to be so troublesome for her to go through each page, checking for inconsistencies and jotting them down for the next draft - being an ambassador is hard. Now, she has the strength to smile, knowing she already has something to look forward to, like hearing her-
“Juhyun, I’m home.”
She smiles upon hearing her name. She leans back and willingly gives herself to the pair of arms waiting behind her. The back of her head turns warm and from there it spreads to her cheeks. She breathes in slowly, taking in the faint scent of the air freshener she bought for their car last weekend. Then something enters her ear: warm breath. She takes in what’s left of that small kiss on the ear and smiles again. Everything is warm.
“Welcome home,” she says upon being released. She stands up and turns to the newly arrived figure clad in faded jeans and a brown cardigan that hung loosely above a plain white shirt.
“Well, you’re bubbly today,” goes the reply.
Juhyun shrugs her shoulders.
“That’s a good thing. Oh hey, I was thinking we could go to dinner later.”
“Dinner?” Juhyun says, tilting her reading glasses upward. “What for, unnie?”
“Oh you know…”
Juhyun was about to ask when she suddenly recalled-
It’s our anniversary today. “Unnie, do you mean-”
“Ssshh. Just wait for tonight. We’ll try to make it special.”
Juhyun responds with a slight smile. This is their third year together and she’s been waiting. Dinners are okay and going out of town just to sightsee and talk is okay, too. As long as she’s with this unnie anything is okay, better if it’s just the two of them and undeniably the best if it could last forever.
“Uhm…Yuri unnie…” she starts to say. They’ve been standing in silence for a while.
“What is it?”
Juhyun opens her mouth once more to speak but is forced to lower her head. A ball of force rises from the pit of her stomach to that spot between the chest and the throat, and breathing becomes a struggle. The tears stream down her cheeks.
“Woah! What’s the matter?!”
Juhyun swallows but feels nothing go down her throat, as if life and matter left her body with the tears she released. She looks up slightly and catches a glimpse of Yuri wrapping both arms around her. “Unnie…” she mumbles.
“I’m right here,” Yuri replies, stroking Juhyun’s back. She lets out a small giggle. “What’s the matter with you, crying all of a sudden like this?”
Juhyun does not reply. She quickly inhales to keep her runny nose at bay and then hugs Yuri back as tightly as she can. She holds on, burying her tear-covered face in Yuri’s neck.
“Don’t tell me you don’t want to celebrate our anniversary today,” Yuri says, somewhat hesitating as she keeps the pauses in between words a bit longer than usual. “Don’t tell me you don’t-”
“Of course not, unnie,” Juhyun manages to reply. Her throat had gone dry the moment she started crying and her voice nearly cracked. It doesn’t matter. After all, the reason why she has enough strength to force a reply out of herself is standing right in front of her. A dry throat is nothing. The embarrassment from hearing her voice sound so small means nothing.
“Then what is it?” Yuri says, turning her head so her lips now graze part of Juhyun’s cheek.
“I’m just happy, that’s all,” Juhyun replies, now managing to hold back the sniffling.
Yuri takes a deep breath and then exhales. She manages a smile. “Sheesh… is that really it? You sure?”
Juhyun nods and she feels Yuri’s lips on her cheek as she does. She moves her cheek closer and nods once more.
“Now what are you doing?” Yuri asks with a laugh as she pushes Juhyun slightly away from her to check her expression.
Juhyun smiles. “Nothing, unnie. Hm, I better finish the paperwork now so I’ll have time to get ready for later. What about you? Don’t you still need to go back to work? Are you gonna take the car again?”
“Nah,” Yuri replies. She leans forward and touches Juhyun’s nose with hers. “I’ll be right here waiting for you to finish your paperwork. I can serve you coffee and stuff.”
Juhyun giggles, lowering her head a little. She knows she’s blushing. “You may be playing a waitress in that play of yours, unnie, but that doesn’t mean you can do it at home, too.”
Yuri gasps with widened eyes as she moves her head back, breaking the cozy bond of their noses. “Omo! Are you saying I’m doing a bad job?”
Juhyun shakes her head and giggles again. “No, no! It’s just that here at home I just want you to be you. Most of the time you aren’t even here because you practice late and you go to different cities to perform so now that you’re here with me… I just want us to be us. I like it when we’re like this, when everything seems so together.”
“Okay,” Yuri replies. “Whatever you want.”
Dinner was okay, as usual.
“So here’s a toast to our third year!” Yuri says, raising her glass.
“Happy anniversary, unnie,” Juhyun replies, raising her glass.
A tiny clink.
They both take a sip of their mineral water and exchange smiles.
Yuri giggles, almost spilling her drink.
Juhyun raises an eyebrow. “What is it, unnie?”
“It’s just that we’re drinking water again,” Yuri replies. “But that’s okay. I know you don’t like drinking.”
“I’m sorry. If you want then we can go buy-”
“We’re in the middle of a lake, Juhyun,” Yuri says, looking around. “I don’t think we can just get up and buy that easily.”
Juhyun lowers her head. “Sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t be like that,” Yuri replies. She places her now empty glass back inside the picnic basket and then slowly moves closer to Juhyun who is currently sitting across from her on the small boat they rented. She lifts Juhyun’s chin with her index finger and thumb and smiles. “I was just kidding. Relax, will you?”
Juhyun gives a slight nod. She diverts her gaze to the water, leaving Yuri’s dark searching eyes.
“Talk to me,” Yuri says. “What’s going on?”
Juhyun moves her head, asking for the release of her chin. Yuri complies.
“Is it work?” Yuri asks, holding Juhyun’s free hand with both of hers. “Or is it me? Did I do something wrong?”
“It’s not you,” Juhyun replies. “I like being with you, unnie. I want to stay with you forever.”
“I know. That’s why I’m right here. I’m right here, Juhyun.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
Juhyun fills her lungs with new air and starts to clear her throat. “I just want to know if you like being with me, too.”
“Of course I do,” Yuri answers. “You don’t even need to ask me that ‘cause you should know.”
“I just want to be sure. Before anything else, I just want to know that we’ll be able to make it through, you know? In spite of every argument or how much work stresses me out or how far away you always seem to be because you’re doing what you love, I just want to know that we can be together. Whatever happens-” She starts to sob. It happened so fast that she barely felt the sharp pain in her nostrils, the one that signals the release of her tears.
Yuri does not reply. She pulls Juhyun close and holds her.
“What…Whatever ha-happens… Unnie, I-”
“You want to get married?”
Juhyun senses the coldness in Yuri’s voice, almost like an instant rejection. Yes, she does want to get married, but if the mere mention of it causes Yuri’s warmth to dwindle-
“Tell me, Juhyun, what’s so nice about getting married?”
“Then… I can stay with you forever,” Juhyun replies. Her tears are at a temporary pause. She holds them back because right now she wants to be strong. She wants to be strong for herself, for Yuri, and for what she wants them to be.
“Death will tear us apart. There’s no forever,” Yuri says.
“I like to believe that there is,” Juhyun replies. She settles her chin on Yuri’s shoulder and tries to feel that Yuri’s arms are still warm just to make sure that she’s still in Yuri’s arms, just to make sure that they’re still together. Holding her glass tightly with one hand doesn’t seem to matter anymore. “I know that we’ll die someday and maybe then we won’t see each other anymore. Even though that’s true, I think a lifetime already is forever. It’s enough. I really think it’s enough, unnie.”
Yuri closes her eyes. She tightens her hold on Juhyun’s body and tries not to breathe out too loudly. Tear start to line her cheeks.
“Unnie, are you still with me?” Juhyun mumbles. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”’
“I’m right here,” Yuri whispers. She presses her lips on the side of Juhyun’s head and whispers it again and again: “I’m right here. I’ll always be here.”
Dinner started at sundown. Now the moon is out and the winds blow hard and cold. Yuri wipes Juhyun’s cheeks with both palms and smiles while her tears run freely down to her neck, some spilling on the boat’s flooring.
“Are you okay, Yuri unnie?” Juhyun says.
Yuri nods. “Hey.”
“Yes?”
“We’ll think it through together, okay? Getting married, I mean.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I guess we can just-”
“Whatever. Let’s just give it time. You okay with that?”
Juhyun’s cheeks puff up. She smiles. “Okay.”
“In the meantime,” Yuri starts to say. She takes the glass from Juhyun’s hand, drinks the leftover water and then places it back inside the picnic basket. She takes both of Juhyun’s hands and looks into her eyes. “Just think of it this way: as of now we’re spending our 1095th day together. Out of a lifetime, that’s 1095 days. That’s 1095 days over forever, right? Mathematically.”
Juhyun giggles. “Right.”
Yuri smiles. As her cheeks rise the moonlight exposes the tear tracks. “And then next year we can add another 365 days and then another 365 days and then it’ll go on and on. No matter how many sets of 365 go by, I’ll still be right here and we’ll be celebrating our anniversary. Even when we get past 5000 days over forever… I’ll be here with you.”
“What about leap years, though?”
“Huh?”
“Well, leap years have 366 days instead of 365 and you said that you’ll only be with me if-”
Yuri laughs. She holds Juhyun’s hands tighter. “You just have to be such a geek, don’t you?”
Juhyun shrugs her shoulders and then smiles. “I’m just saying.”
They share another hug under one starry sky, the starry sky that seems to go on and on and on into forever. But it doesn’t matter. What matters right now, is their forever. Juhyun feels that Yuri is warm again. Everything is warm. The thought of spending the next year together crosses her mind and she smiles - another 365 days over forever.