(no subject)
i can't take this anymore. when things are bad, you're supposed to look on the bright side but hell, there isn't one right now.
1045am. i was half asleep and heard a bang. my dad came flying into my room two minutes later screaming "get out of bed and call 911. your brother's on his floor and not breathing." i never moved so fast in my entire life. i grabbed the phone, called 911, and just stood there staring at my brother laying on his bedroom floor.. unconscience, motionless, unresponsive, gurgling, blood pouring from the back of his head, nose, and mouth. i was shaking like a leaf. it felt like i was a bystander to someone's worst nightmare except it was my nightmare.
the paramedics got to my house, they gave him an injection of i don't know what, he woke up. he couldn't talk and when his speech finally came back he was just rambling, stringing words together that made no sense. had no idea who he was, who my dad and i were, where he was.
how i managed to drive to the hospital, i have no idea. i barely remember it. it's one of times when you can't do something but know you have to. he was talking, he knew who all of us were but he had no idea what happened. the last thing he remembers is waking up at 10am and going into the bathroom. after that, nothing.
ct scan came back normal. blood work was normal with the exception of an acidic ph which led the doctor to believe my brother might have some sort of seizure disorder. he has to have an mri and an eeg done tomorrow to either confirm or deny what's suspected.
never ever in my life have i been so scared. seeing him on his floor like that just keeps playing over and over again in my head. it won't go away. i'm still shaking, still crying, still in shock. his face is all smashed up and swollen, he can barely walk. there's blood everywhere in his room. my parents are a wreck.
if this is life, man. one thing after another. i don't know much the big guy upstairs thinks this family and i can take but my coping skills are hanging on by a thread.
1045am. i was half asleep and heard a bang. my dad came flying into my room two minutes later screaming "get out of bed and call 911. your brother's on his floor and not breathing." i never moved so fast in my entire life. i grabbed the phone, called 911, and just stood there staring at my brother laying on his bedroom floor.. unconscience, motionless, unresponsive, gurgling, blood pouring from the back of his head, nose, and mouth. i was shaking like a leaf. it felt like i was a bystander to someone's worst nightmare except it was my nightmare.
the paramedics got to my house, they gave him an injection of i don't know what, he woke up. he couldn't talk and when his speech finally came back he was just rambling, stringing words together that made no sense. had no idea who he was, who my dad and i were, where he was.
how i managed to drive to the hospital, i have no idea. i barely remember it. it's one of times when you can't do something but know you have to. he was talking, he knew who all of us were but he had no idea what happened. the last thing he remembers is waking up at 10am and going into the bathroom. after that, nothing.
ct scan came back normal. blood work was normal with the exception of an acidic ph which led the doctor to believe my brother might have some sort of seizure disorder. he has to have an mri and an eeg done tomorrow to either confirm or deny what's suspected.
never ever in my life have i been so scared. seeing him on his floor like that just keeps playing over and over again in my head. it won't go away. i'm still shaking, still crying, still in shock. his face is all smashed up and swollen, he can barely walk. there's blood everywhere in his room. my parents are a wreck.
if this is life, man. one thing after another. i don't know much the big guy upstairs thinks this family and i can take but my coping skills are hanging on by a thread.