(no subject)
i feel weird. i have every reason to be happy. but then theres so much thats trying to bring me down. im not sure of anything right now. or what to think. i know i have this bad habit of assuming things are worse than they actually are. but i really feel like im fading away from some people. people i care about alot. i thought it was just a phase, but it keeps going. and when we finally get together again, it still feels like theres too much space between us.
then i found out something today that makes me want to cry. but i wont. i refuse. im just gonna block it out until i forget about it. i hate caring. it hurts too much. maybe i'll just give up on this.
i just dont understand some people. why do we fight against ourselves? we say one thing, then go around and say bullshit, wether its true or not. someone finds out, all hell breaks lose. why isnt anyone true to themselves anymore? i hate hiding things. ((but it is fun at times)) things just get confusing and complicated this way. i just .... dont understand......
on a GREAT AWESOME note; tomorrow is baileys birthday! and jazz auditions. so it should be a good day. two things that always make me happy. shes the one person i am sure about. =] and school seems to be getting better. lets hope it stays that way. please oh please.
ps. NEXT WEEKEND! crazy fun. im excited. i hope this week goes supaaa fast!