(no subject)
It's amazing with how little trust I have in everyone that I am writing in this..I guess I just WANT to trust people more so I'm giving someone a chance...I want to be honest...I want halsey, I do I want her more than anything else in the world..But I also want Steph. I don't think i'll ever have either, and it hurts. People have been selling me out and it really hurts me and is pretty much kicking me when i'm down. There was this teacher I knew...Mr Mirangi...he died yesturday of a serious heartattack...He was really nice, amazing guy, great guy was nice to everyone and was always willing to help. He was the sweetest guy you'd ever meet and god had to take him. He finally made staff of snowball, and he was suppossed to help with T-time(guys only activity). Now Christy doesn't even want to go on the weekend, either do a bunch of other people. But it's just hard knowing i'm slowly becoming invisible, and I can't do shit about it because I have to be soooo careful who to trust... I just can't take it anymore. It'd be a lie if the thought of suicide didn't cross my mind lately. It has, I just can't help but think that maybe things would be better if i'm gone.