wow
This whole time I've been saying that having everything still up on the walls was actually encouraging, it made me remember all the good times we've had. now that it's all taken down, I feel strangely empty. I really didn't expect this kind of feeling.
I just want it all to be done with. over. It's a selfish thought, but I don't think i can handle it any differently. I suck at this kind of thing. I just hope we can be okay. I never really understood when people would say they hate a movie, or can't watch a movie, because of someone its linked to. Now I get it. Comical as it may be, i can't play left 4 dead without her. I just started "our mix", it's painfully soothing. Like rubbing a bruise until it's so sore it kinda goes numb, and you no longer feel it. Can't say it works like that for everyone, but I'm familiar with that feeling.
I'm not through the first song and it's already making me feel heavy, I'm not sure how much longer I'll listen to this. not sure why I'm doing it. maybe to see if I can. here comes track two... nope, not makin it.
I just want to fast forward to us being happy again, separately or as friends, but happy.
fuck, I need a smoke.
I just want it all to be done with. over. It's a selfish thought, but I don't think i can handle it any differently. I suck at this kind of thing. I just hope we can be okay. I never really understood when people would say they hate a movie, or can't watch a movie, because of someone its linked to. Now I get it. Comical as it may be, i can't play left 4 dead without her. I just started "our mix", it's painfully soothing. Like rubbing a bruise until it's so sore it kinda goes numb, and you no longer feel it. Can't say it works like that for everyone, but I'm familiar with that feeling.
I'm not through the first song and it's already making me feel heavy, I'm not sure how much longer I'll listen to this. not sure why I'm doing it. maybe to see if I can. here comes track two... nope, not makin it.
I just want to fast forward to us being happy again, separately or as friends, but happy.
fuck, I need a smoke.