STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER
well friends, it seems that little gifts from heaven have been dropping from the sky...and then lying on the ground for a good bit of time. today, on my way to lunch at BCM (which is $1), i discovered a black bracelet on the ground....i don't know whose wrists it is supposed to fit, but the largest adjustment is tight on me (and i have possibly the smallest wrists in the world)! and this is no kid bracelet, its punk all the way....just one question: who has wrists 1 inch thick??? then, as we pulled into a parking space at walmart, i spy a patriotic beanie baby lying in the path of the front tire...so i ask the driver to bring the vehicle to a halt and rescue this poor creature. not confident as to its sanitary quality, i proceeded to carry it around by its tail until i arrived back at dorman and gave him a bath in the sink. the water was literally yellow/brown for at least a minute. now kathy decides this is still not enought to make "Lefty" an acceptable guest, so i then go downstairs to take advantage of the free washing machines, and there you have it....good as new. now this story takes an allegorical turn if you will, as i explain my little friend's transformation.
Lefty the stars and stripes donkey was not doin so good at life....he was pursuing things he probably shouldn't have pursuing, and consequently being covered in dirt and other various not-so-nice elements (i will spare you on the detail). finally, he found himself alone and abandoned in the walmart parking lot, without a single hope in the world. knowing his demise is probable, Lefty accepts his fate fairlly tolerably considering his severe depression. suddenly, a giant red suv roars toward him, and he knows this is the end.......next thing he knows, he is being lifted by his tail (not a very comforable mode of transportation) into the vehicle. his life is not over! he has been saved! but that's not all....you see, nothing is coincidence, and my chance meeting w/Lefty was all apart of God's plan to make a new creature out of this old, dirty one. and so, Lefty has been thoroughly cleansed, and completely transformed from a left-wing donkey to a patriotic horse. not only that, but like Saul, Lefty has taken on a new name to represent a new life: Righty. (creative, eh?)
and so amigos, that is the story of our little patriotic pony.