rip it up to shreds and let it go
i am incredibly sad, annoyed, frustrated and stressed.
i'm so freaking sick of advertisements making noise when i just want quiet. it seriously is making me so angry.
i'm incredibly stressed and frustrated about school. i hate my ethics class so much. the lectures feel like such a waste of time and money. the professor just sits there and asks us questions... all we basically do is sit there and listen to our classmates talk about the wrong stuff, so she just sits there and tries to get us to guess what shes thinking. its ridiculous. we're supposed to write these papers, but don't really have anything to go off of, because we don't even do anything in lecture, except listen to our peers and her ask questions... half the time i have no idea what she wants us to get from these lectures. it really pisses me off so freaking much. we rarely talk about the readings, (and theres a lot of them)... i really want to drop it, but its too late to drop it without getting a W... and I don't want a W especially if i'm going to apply to be an education major....
which leads me to another thing. i am really unsure if being a teacher is what i want to do... and everyone is always like, oh you don't need to know now... but i do. i need to get into one of the teacher programs if i want to be a teacher... because i've taken all of the classes i can take without being in the major. so if i keep waiting i'm not going to have anything to take next term... but to apply is kinda a lot of work... and i dont want to go through all this shit then decide not to do it. its incredibly frustrating. i need to go to the career center sometime to take those little tests and talk to someone and see if they can help me. i am kinda dreading that though, because whenever i talk about it i tend to get emotional and choked up. i already cried in front of the financial aid advisor, i'd rather not experience that again.
ugh then theres my ed studies class. we have to do this practicum. but i was stupid and thought that i would be able to use the daycare, but it turns out thats not going to be the best choice. so sometime before 2PM tomorrow i have to go find someone to observe and get a signature from them. its going to be difficult considering i work 830-1030 then have spanish at 11, philosophy at 12... i'm not really sure what im going to do. i love how i screw myself over sometimes. its awesome.
i went to oc this weekend. there were some high points. like seeing steve, winning risk for the first time, and eating mint meltaways. i always think that going home is going to be good or fun or make me happy, but it tends to make me rather depressed and sad. everytime my mom always asks me not to go back to eugene because she misses me... since i've been so emotional and on the verge of tears all weekend shes really been worrying, it makes me sad. and whenever i see neth he makes me not want to leave. i was totally planning on leaving early today, but i didn't leave until 730 because i decided to go see neth before i left... which was a bad idea, because i just wanted to stay there. i hate how i am so addicted to him and emotionally dependent and ridiculous i am around him.
i need to go study for my spanish test tomorrow.
i really dont like myself right now.
make a wish.
i'm so freaking sick of advertisements making noise when i just want quiet. it seriously is making me so angry.
i'm incredibly stressed and frustrated about school. i hate my ethics class so much. the lectures feel like such a waste of time and money. the professor just sits there and asks us questions... all we basically do is sit there and listen to our classmates talk about the wrong stuff, so she just sits there and tries to get us to guess what shes thinking. its ridiculous. we're supposed to write these papers, but don't really have anything to go off of, because we don't even do anything in lecture, except listen to our peers and her ask questions... half the time i have no idea what she wants us to get from these lectures. it really pisses me off so freaking much. we rarely talk about the readings, (and theres a lot of them)... i really want to drop it, but its too late to drop it without getting a W... and I don't want a W especially if i'm going to apply to be an education major....
which leads me to another thing. i am really unsure if being a teacher is what i want to do... and everyone is always like, oh you don't need to know now... but i do. i need to get into one of the teacher programs if i want to be a teacher... because i've taken all of the classes i can take without being in the major. so if i keep waiting i'm not going to have anything to take next term... but to apply is kinda a lot of work... and i dont want to go through all this shit then decide not to do it. its incredibly frustrating. i need to go to the career center sometime to take those little tests and talk to someone and see if they can help me. i am kinda dreading that though, because whenever i talk about it i tend to get emotional and choked up. i already cried in front of the financial aid advisor, i'd rather not experience that again.
ugh then theres my ed studies class. we have to do this practicum. but i was stupid and thought that i would be able to use the daycare, but it turns out thats not going to be the best choice. so sometime before 2PM tomorrow i have to go find someone to observe and get a signature from them. its going to be difficult considering i work 830-1030 then have spanish at 11, philosophy at 12... i'm not really sure what im going to do. i love how i screw myself over sometimes. its awesome.
i went to oc this weekend. there were some high points. like seeing steve, winning risk for the first time, and eating mint meltaways. i always think that going home is going to be good or fun or make me happy, but it tends to make me rather depressed and sad. everytime my mom always asks me not to go back to eugene because she misses me... since i've been so emotional and on the verge of tears all weekend shes really been worrying, it makes me sad. and whenever i see neth he makes me not want to leave. i was totally planning on leaving early today, but i didn't leave until 730 because i decided to go see neth before i left... which was a bad idea, because i just wanted to stay there. i hate how i am so addicted to him and emotionally dependent and ridiculous i am around him.
i need to go study for my spanish test tomorrow.
i really dont like myself right now.
make a wish.