still confused
well i talked to mike the other nite on the net and we tried to talk about everything and how we feel and im STILL CONFUSED he doesnt know how he feels.. i guess he never will... sometimes i think he is just tellin me he is confused so he doesnt have to tell me he hates me and never wants to see me again! it wouldnt surprise me tho thats basically how all my other realationships have ended up... its gotta be me... please somebody tell me what i am doing wrong! anywayz it doesnt matter im tryin...key word TRYING very hard to move on cuz i hate being down and depressed but its very difficult... its just there is still a lil.. well ok big piece of me that wants to wait and hope he changes his mind but for some reason i feel he never will...im just going to have to accept that aparently i wasnt good enuff or what he was lookin for and move on... on the other hand tho i think i may just give up on guy till im o say thirty? maybe by then ill be able to handle rejection... anywho got lots of homework today which adds even more to my already o so stressful life... uhh i hate it .. some days i wish we would move and i could start completely over and no one would know me or know what to think of me or know anything about my past then maybe i could find a guy who would actually like me and NOT break my heart but its all just wishful thinking... well thats all for now l8er