living out the dream.or nightmare i dunno which yet.
so ok ive learned or ive tought myself to believe things happen for a reason. i hope tahts true. so last night my world was fluished down the drain, but somehow im okay with that now. i dunno im in the wierdest state of mind.
i had the most depressing conversation ive ever had in my life but somehow one of the best. she doesnt like me like that that sucks but its okay now i wasnt okay with that before but i dunno i feel like its goona better. like not to sound gay but like will and grace type shit... i think we can be really good friends now and that makes me happy because thats awesome.k i hope she thinks its awesome too.
seriously though i am in the wierdest state of mind.
i know what will make her happy and ive been tryin to get that to happen all today. if shes happy that makes me happy. and i feel like such a faggot right now but i seriously dont care. im throguh with caring sooo much. because when you care to much you get your shit shoved in your face and broght back down to reality. i love and hate reality at the same. i dunno if any of ths makes sense but fuck it its what im thinking and this is my fucking journal so if you dont fucking like it you can stop reading this shit right now.
so speaking directly to you i think things are going to be a lot better now. now that i can get over myself and finally try and love things for the way they are. because one day im gonna miss being your friend so im going to enjoy it while i have it.
im content.
i love most people right now.
i had the most depressing conversation ive ever had in my life but somehow one of the best. she doesnt like me like that that sucks but its okay now i wasnt okay with that before but i dunno i feel like its goona better. like not to sound gay but like will and grace type shit... i think we can be really good friends now and that makes me happy because thats awesome.k i hope she thinks its awesome too.
seriously though i am in the wierdest state of mind.
i know what will make her happy and ive been tryin to get that to happen all today. if shes happy that makes me happy. and i feel like such a faggot right now but i seriously dont care. im throguh with caring sooo much. because when you care to much you get your shit shoved in your face and broght back down to reality. i love and hate reality at the same. i dunno if any of ths makes sense but fuck it its what im thinking and this is my fucking journal so if you dont fucking like it you can stop reading this shit right now.
so speaking directly to you i think things are going to be a lot better now. now that i can get over myself and finally try and love things for the way they are. because one day im gonna miss being your friend so im going to enjoy it while i have it.
im content.
i love most people right now.