lksjdflashd
somethings always missing from my life.
no matter how hard i try one of my friends is always better than i am. and it's so hard to hate them when theyre the nicest person ever. they dont try to do what theyre doing.. theyre not doing it on purpose to hurt me.. then it just hurts even more because then i feel bad for disliking them for doing something that they cant help.
im sure this doesnt make sense to anyone.
i just wish for freaking once, i can be happy. i can experience what everyone else is.
everyone keeps telling me to just wait for it. but theyve been saying that for years and it kind of gets old after a while.
i also wish that looks weren't all that mattered in this world. i wish someone could see me for the amazing person that i know that i am instead of the meatball that i also know that i am.
i think if people saw my personality, they'd see my appearance as more appealing. i wouldnt be the chunky girl with the spongebob teeth. id be the awesome babygirlllll with the flat ass and sexy gut.
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i think a lot when i can't sleep. and i've been thinking lately about how im so unhappy with my weight because guys just see me as fat and shit. but then i think about it more and more. and yeah.. i could try harder to lose weight. but why starve myself? why do shit like that just so some guy thinks im a hotter piece of meat.
im a pretty girl, at least i think so. and i think that if i were skinny, id be much much more attractive. but! i'd be much more bitter i've come to realize.
because when guys think youre attractive. they think they like you. when in reality, they really don't even know you.
i want a guy to like me for who i am, and not what i look like.
i would hate the guys that came on to me, because i know they would just like me for my looks.. and that would make me actually feel like shit instead of feeling better about myself. and i would lose whatever spark made me me.
and i dont want that to happen.
it's not worth it to me.
no matter how hard i try one of my friends is always better than i am. and it's so hard to hate them when theyre the nicest person ever. they dont try to do what theyre doing.. theyre not doing it on purpose to hurt me.. then it just hurts even more because then i feel bad for disliking them for doing something that they cant help.
im sure this doesnt make sense to anyone.
i just wish for freaking once, i can be happy. i can experience what everyone else is.
everyone keeps telling me to just wait for it. but theyve been saying that for years and it kind of gets old after a while.
i also wish that looks weren't all that mattered in this world. i wish someone could see me for the amazing person that i know that i am instead of the meatball that i also know that i am.
i think if people saw my personality, they'd see my appearance as more appealing. i wouldnt be the chunky girl with the spongebob teeth. id be the awesome babygirlllll with the flat ass and sexy gut.
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i think a lot when i can't sleep. and i've been thinking lately about how im so unhappy with my weight because guys just see me as fat and shit. but then i think about it more and more. and yeah.. i could try harder to lose weight. but why starve myself? why do shit like that just so some guy thinks im a hotter piece of meat.
im a pretty girl, at least i think so. and i think that if i were skinny, id be much much more attractive. but! i'd be much more bitter i've come to realize.
because when guys think youre attractive. they think they like you. when in reality, they really don't even know you.
i want a guy to like me for who i am, and not what i look like.
i would hate the guys that came on to me, because i know they would just like me for my looks.. and that would make me actually feel like shit instead of feeling better about myself. and i would lose whatever spark made me me.
and i dont want that to happen.
it's not worth it to me.