Actually afraid...
Well, I know i said that i wasn't going to do it, but I spent the last 3 hours at work editing every journal entry I ever made. This means that I am going to have to take work home tonight and make up the 3 hours, but I feel better about it now. I find myself being afraid of what he is going to do next. I think he is out to hurt me now. I feel like he is invading everything that has always been just mine trying to find ammunition to use against me. I am afraid that he is going to try to take the kids from me. They are my life now. It used to be that he and the kids were my life. I always thought of him and his feelings and plans before deciding to do anything. Now he has taken himself out of the picture and I feel like he is angry at me and he wants to hurt me. The only way left for him to hurt me is by using the kids. I would die before I let that happen.