(no subject)
I guess I'm pretty pissed off...
Today I found comfort on the floor of the laundry room behind the freezer. Not only did it provide physical comfort (it was a cold spot in a way-too-hot house), but also some other kind. I guess it was because I was hidden or something.
People were picking on me today.
Anyway I practically fell asleep there on the floor, propped up against a shelf and in a completely uncomfortable position.
Before that I was panicking about my finger. It got worse overnight and I'm really afraid it's going to fall off. My fingernail, I mean.
Last night I had a nightmare that involved a few characters in the last book I read (Hey, Nostradamus by Douglas Coupland). It was weird because the book was a big reference to the bible, at least; the Parable of the Prodigal Son (which is coincidentally something we've been discussing in English class) and in my dream I invented a way for it to be a big reference to Romeo and Juliet. I dreamt that Cheryl, who was killed in a highschool shooting, came back from the dead in one way or another, and her husbandboyfriend Jason, who had finally had enough of his lonely life, threw himself in front of a car before he knew she was back. And so he sat in the middle of the road, his wrist split in two and bleeding to death while Cheryl ran to him. The last image I remember, the image that really turned this dream into a nightmare, was a black-and-white image of Jason looking up at me, holding his arm while it bled and then burned and melted and crawled. It's really strange, the things the mind can conjure up. It's something I'd really like to learn more about. Too bad I probably never will.
Time is going too fast. I'm blaming that for all my problems; my apparent unfeeling, my behindness, my depression. I don't know if I'm legitimately blaming it. I'm pretty sure it is genuinely the root of this numbness.
That and I'm just so tired.
'Night.
Today I found comfort on the floor of the laundry room behind the freezer. Not only did it provide physical comfort (it was a cold spot in a way-too-hot house), but also some other kind. I guess it was because I was hidden or something.
People were picking on me today.
Anyway I practically fell asleep there on the floor, propped up against a shelf and in a completely uncomfortable position.
Before that I was panicking about my finger. It got worse overnight and I'm really afraid it's going to fall off. My fingernail, I mean.
Last night I had a nightmare that involved a few characters in the last book I read (Hey, Nostradamus by Douglas Coupland). It was weird because the book was a big reference to the bible, at least; the Parable of the Prodigal Son (which is coincidentally something we've been discussing in English class) and in my dream I invented a way for it to be a big reference to Romeo and Juliet. I dreamt that Cheryl, who was killed in a highschool shooting, came back from the dead in one way or another, and her husbandboyfriend Jason, who had finally had enough of his lonely life, threw himself in front of a car before he knew she was back. And so he sat in the middle of the road, his wrist split in two and bleeding to death while Cheryl ran to him. The last image I remember, the image that really turned this dream into a nightmare, was a black-and-white image of Jason looking up at me, holding his arm while it bled and then burned and melted and crawled. It's really strange, the things the mind can conjure up. It's something I'd really like to learn more about. Too bad I probably never will.
Time is going too fast. I'm blaming that for all my problems; my apparent unfeeling, my behindness, my depression. I don't know if I'm legitimately blaming it. I'm pretty sure it is genuinely the root of this numbness.
That and I'm just so tired.
'Night.