Brian is in the Kitchen -- WORK IN PROGRESS
“Hey Brian,” Keith said, dropping into a seat next to the NBC anchor with a grin. “Do you want to come… get drinks?”
Brian looked at him oddly. (He felt that something had gone wrong with the emphasis in that question.) “Why?”
“I don’t know. Pick a reason. I want to encourage inter-affiliate camaraderie. I want to get inside your pants. I want to suck up to you so you’ll put in a good word for me. Does it matter?” Keith started playing with a convenient pen, running his fingers along its length over and over again.
“You want to get inside his pants?” interjected Jon. He and Brian had been having a pleasant conversation, up until they had been interrupted. Jon made a good intellectual sparring partner; Brian was increasingly discovering a soft spot for his particular genre of funnyman.
Keith ignored Jon completely. (Weren’t they friends these days? Perhaps Jon had said something particularly biting about Countdown recently.) “So, drink?”
He didn’t know what was going on exactly, but Keith had a tendency to be up to no good. “No,” Brian said decisively, and turned back to Jon.
“Oh, come on,” Keith whined. “It’s just a drink.”
“Can I come?” Jon asked.
“No.” Keith started tapping Brian on the arm. “Come on.”
Brian turned to him, exasperation starting to leak through at the edges. “Let me think about it.” He made a show of his serious-face, which much to his delight made Jon giggle. “Okay. No.”
At that moment, Anderson Cooper from CNN walked up behind Keith and tapped him on the shoulder. “Are we ready to go?”
“No, we aren’t,” Keith said with a pout. “Brian’s being a dick and won’t come with us.” (Brian found this characterization to be somewhat unfair, but he also felt that protesting would only complicate the situation.)
“Wait,” Jon said, affront written large on his face, “Anderson gets to go but I can’t?”
“Sorry Jon, real newsies only,” Anderson replied, with only the barest hint of condescension. “We’ll invite you next time. Hey, Brian.”
As Brian turned towards Anderson with a (somewhat forced) smile, Anderson leaned over and put his mouth close to Brian’s ear. No one else present could hear what he said, but after a moment, Anderson straightened up and stepped back behind Keith, leaving a red-faced and irritated Brian Williams in his wake.
Without a word, Brian put down the paper he had been theoretically reading and stood up. “Sorry Jon, but I’m going for a drink with Keith and Anderson. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”
“Fine,” Jon sighed. “Be like that. Fuckers.”
Jon waved a lazy good-bye and turned his back on them, presumably to mope. Keith put one big hand on Brian’s right arm and Anderson took Brian’s left, and they started steering him towards the door.
“That wasn’t very nice,” Brian said accusingly, feeling like he was being hustled.
Anderson smiled charmingly. “Sorry.” (He didn’t look very sorry.)
“Is anyone else coming?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Keith pulled him to the right. “Because we don’t want to get inside anyone else’s pants.”
Brian processed this. “And why can’t Jon come?”
“Because we’ve already been inside his pants,” Anderson said calmly.
Brian felt like he should maybe be getting suspicious and starting to panic. As it was, he was having a tough time continuing to breathe. (Though he wasn’t sure if it was due to concern for his situation, or the mental image of Jon sandwiched between Keith and Anderson.) “You keep implying that you want to get inside my pants.”
Brian caught an alarming glance of Anderson’s wicked smile before the younger anchor turned to open the door. “First things first,” Keith announced, “Drinks!”
They weren’t at a bar, or a café, or a nightclub; they were in Keith’s hotel room, a bottle of vodka sitting on the desk.
“Seriously guys, what’s this all about?”
Keith poured three glasses as Anderson pulled Brian down onto the bed to sit beside him. “We’ve noticed something recently,” Anderson began, taking a shot glass from Keith with a delicacy that should have been feminine but wasn’t.
“You like Jon,” Keith explained, forcing a glass into Brian’s hand as well.
Brian tried to set the glass down, but Anderson promptly picked it up and forced Brian to drink it. Brian coughed the vodka down, where it curled in his stomach and started to do its worst. “Of course I like Jon. Jon, if you haven’t noticed, is funny, smart and friendly. You’ve really been inside his pants?”
“Yes,” Anderson replied.
Keith nodded. “Many times.”
To say that this experience had been mind-boggling so far would be understating the case, but Brian realized, as what could only be Anderson Cooper’s hand found its way inside Brian’s shirt to slide coolly up his back, that the evening was going to get weirder. He hadn’t known that Jon… liked that. (He’d - well, hoped wasn’t exactly the right word. He’d considered the possibility before - the possibility that Jon really was flirting with him. It was a possibility he entertained often.) “So, it’s true that you’re friends, then?”
“Generally, yes.”
Anderson leaned close to whisper into Brian’s ear, like it was some big secret. “Keith’s a little mad at Jon right now,” he elaborated. Brian could feel Anderson’s lips graze his cheek. The sensation made him shiver. “Apparently, Jon made fun of him.”
(part 2)
Brian looked at him oddly. (He felt that something had gone wrong with the emphasis in that question.) “Why?”
“I don’t know. Pick a reason. I want to encourage inter-affiliate camaraderie. I want to get inside your pants. I want to suck up to you so you’ll put in a good word for me. Does it matter?” Keith started playing with a convenient pen, running his fingers along its length over and over again.
“You want to get inside his pants?” interjected Jon. He and Brian had been having a pleasant conversation, up until they had been interrupted. Jon made a good intellectual sparring partner; Brian was increasingly discovering a soft spot for his particular genre of funnyman.
Keith ignored Jon completely. (Weren’t they friends these days? Perhaps Jon had said something particularly biting about Countdown recently.) “So, drink?”
He didn’t know what was going on exactly, but Keith had a tendency to be up to no good. “No,” Brian said decisively, and turned back to Jon.
“Oh, come on,” Keith whined. “It’s just a drink.”
“Can I come?” Jon asked.
“No.” Keith started tapping Brian on the arm. “Come on.”
Brian turned to him, exasperation starting to leak through at the edges. “Let me think about it.” He made a show of his serious-face, which much to his delight made Jon giggle. “Okay. No.”
At that moment, Anderson Cooper from CNN walked up behind Keith and tapped him on the shoulder. “Are we ready to go?”
“No, we aren’t,” Keith said with a pout. “Brian’s being a dick and won’t come with us.” (Brian found this characterization to be somewhat unfair, but he also felt that protesting would only complicate the situation.)
“Wait,” Jon said, affront written large on his face, “Anderson gets to go but I can’t?”
“Sorry Jon, real newsies only,” Anderson replied, with only the barest hint of condescension. “We’ll invite you next time. Hey, Brian.”
As Brian turned towards Anderson with a (somewhat forced) smile, Anderson leaned over and put his mouth close to Brian’s ear. No one else present could hear what he said, but after a moment, Anderson straightened up and stepped back behind Keith, leaving a red-faced and irritated Brian Williams in his wake.
Without a word, Brian put down the paper he had been theoretically reading and stood up. “Sorry Jon, but I’m going for a drink with Keith and Anderson. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”
“Fine,” Jon sighed. “Be like that. Fuckers.”
Jon waved a lazy good-bye and turned his back on them, presumably to mope. Keith put one big hand on Brian’s right arm and Anderson took Brian’s left, and they started steering him towards the door.
“That wasn’t very nice,” Brian said accusingly, feeling like he was being hustled.
Anderson smiled charmingly. “Sorry.” (He didn’t look very sorry.)
“Is anyone else coming?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Keith pulled him to the right. “Because we don’t want to get inside anyone else’s pants.”
Brian processed this. “And why can’t Jon come?”
“Because we’ve already been inside his pants,” Anderson said calmly.
Brian felt like he should maybe be getting suspicious and starting to panic. As it was, he was having a tough time continuing to breathe. (Though he wasn’t sure if it was due to concern for his situation, or the mental image of Jon sandwiched between Keith and Anderson.) “You keep implying that you want to get inside my pants.”
Brian caught an alarming glance of Anderson’s wicked smile before the younger anchor turned to open the door. “First things first,” Keith announced, “Drinks!”
They weren’t at a bar, or a café, or a nightclub; they were in Keith’s hotel room, a bottle of vodka sitting on the desk.
“Seriously guys, what’s this all about?”
Keith poured three glasses as Anderson pulled Brian down onto the bed to sit beside him. “We’ve noticed something recently,” Anderson began, taking a shot glass from Keith with a delicacy that should have been feminine but wasn’t.
“You like Jon,” Keith explained, forcing a glass into Brian’s hand as well.
Brian tried to set the glass down, but Anderson promptly picked it up and forced Brian to drink it. Brian coughed the vodka down, where it curled in his stomach and started to do its worst. “Of course I like Jon. Jon, if you haven’t noticed, is funny, smart and friendly. You’ve really been inside his pants?”
“Yes,” Anderson replied.
Keith nodded. “Many times.”
To say that this experience had been mind-boggling so far would be understating the case, but Brian realized, as what could only be Anderson Cooper’s hand found its way inside Brian’s shirt to slide coolly up his back, that the evening was going to get weirder. He hadn’t known that Jon… liked that. (He’d - well, hoped wasn’t exactly the right word. He’d considered the possibility before - the possibility that Jon really was flirting with him. It was a possibility he entertained often.) “So, it’s true that you’re friends, then?”
“Generally, yes.”
Anderson leaned close to whisper into Brian’s ear, like it was some big secret. “Keith’s a little mad at Jon right now,” he elaborated. Brian could feel Anderson’s lips graze his cheek. The sensation made him shiver. “Apparently, Jon made fun of him.”
(part 2)