Catching Memories
Still bored it's not even funny and healthy anymore. It's 11.18 in the evening here so I might miss something while editing.
*
Yonghwa clutches his chest, stupidly thinking that it might help his nervousness decrease even just for a second. But it doesn’t, he knows it, and he lets his shaking hand stay in there for a while. He scans the large ballroom where his family, relatives and friends gather and gives him a look. The kind that is perceiving, haunting, something like they are all going through his soul and checking if he is for real or not.
“We’re done” He tried to spit out the words that were breaking his heart, like how he did with papers, crumpling it, tearing it into pieces.
She looked at him, a deer that was caught in the headlights, her eyes immediately watering as if she didn’t expect it from him. “W-why?” She pretended, and he whispered curses that sixteen year old guy already knew by heart.
He debated against himself if he should surprise her about what he already knew. He had caught her red-handed, cheating on him with a college guy. It was too much, he was young, in love and terribly hurt.
He jumps from where he is standing as soon as the familiar piano piece that he made just for this day reverberates around the room. The noise halts, everyone checking their comfort on their seats, his mother looking at him from where she is, expressing tenderness and strength in her eyes.
Adjusting his suit for nth time, he gulps the tension that has been blocking his ability to talk down. His right foot would not stop stomping, he is biting a small part of his lower lip, his hands sweating even while he is rubbing it together. All the time he is able to wake up for another day, he is doing his best to live his dreams, to perfect each of his imperfections as possible as he can. And now, another part of his growing dreams is currently happening. And he somehow feels lost, unable to process what he and how he should act.
Yonghwa watched his mother, how her calm expression quickly turned into confusion, betrayal and a bit of anger, he wanted it. So much. He wanted to find his dream in Seoul, he knew that his parents already knew that all he wanted was to be a musician. A popular one, if someone would ask him.
He followed his mother stood from the couch through his eyes and steps going to the kitchen. He glanced at his father, who still had a friendly smile on his face. It was easy when it came to his father, he supported everything his two children wanted. Like how he nodded and patted his older brother’s shoulder when he announced that he wanted to study in America.
“Mother” He called, his fists curled to avoid for any more selfish reasoning.
“Have you done your assignments yet? Oh. Where are the results of your examinations?” She went back carrying a silver tray with three glasses of freshly squeezed oranges. She sat back beside his father, he had heard the slight quivering in her voice.
“Mot-“
“You can’t do that, Jung Yonghwa. I won’t let you go to Seoul all by yourself for that nonsense audition” The strictness that she only showed rarely came out, and he was scared but still determined. He wanted to prove everyone that it wasn’t just a childish thought, an impulsive part in his part.
It was his biggest dream. And he will chase it.
And finally, there she is walking with her father who, just like what she tells him, a very funny and bright person. He feels his throat caught up into something, a kind that makes him unable to breathe, his eyes stuck at the goddess walking to where he is. Everyone dissolves into nowhere, just his goddess looking dazzling and statuesque in the very same gown he picked out for her years ago. But this time, the shining beads are made of silver, handmade meticulously to fit perfectly on her, white silk full skirt that flows to the floor makes her flowing her way to him. A small tiara placed on the crown of her head, holding a white long laced flowing veil behind her.
Her milky white skin exposed in the off-shouldered gown, with the bright lights around the ballroom, giving everyone an illusion that she is glowing, like a real life angel. Her smile was eliciting perfection, happiness and contentment.
He feels someone nudges him on the back, bringing him back to the sudden noise that arises from the audience, their faces in awe with how the bride is looking elegant, out of this world magnificent, kicking the groom on the side, looking like some waiter in an expensive black suit.
“Get a grip of yourself, jerk” His brother teases with the same naughty smirk he always has.
That moment when their agency’s CEO personally asked him, Lee Jonghyun, Kang Minhyuk and Lee Jungshin to be in his office at 3.30 in the afternoon on November 23 2010. He remembered it was the first snow, signalling the arrival of winter, a season he liked since he was seven year old.
They were debuting, they were asked to record some Korean songs, telling them for the future but never giving them an assurance of anything. But they were debuting, finally. At 3.40 in that cold afternoon, CNBlue was formed.
And he was beyond ecstatic.
It is done. He finally, after six years of being together, gets Seo Joohyun, legally and for a long, long time. They have managed to maintain their relationship, away from everyone’s eyes even their members. It is hard, most of the time, but she made it worth it. Her positive mind keeps them together, alive, always craving for each other.
Jung Yonghwa finally gets then Korea’s most prime girl group’s maknae. After an hour of looking into each other’s eyes, never letting go of their hands as they listen to the minister’s words. After five minutes of pouring even just half of what they feel into their speech.
It is almost at the end of the service, few minutes before they are asked to kiss each other as husband and wife, when he feels drops of his tears on his cheek as he stares at the beauty standing in front of him. He is damn sure that she will use it as a weapon to tease him, to haunt his memory for as long as they are together but he loves her so much. So much that he could not contain how his heart is beating too much love for her, his mind reminiscing a lot of their brief secret meetings in the whole six years. Promising her that he will give her all the precious moments of dates, going anywhere she likes from now on.
“I love you” He sees her perfect red lips mouth while the minister is wrapping up the word of God. He lets her index finger wipe his right cheek, always loving her warm hand on his.
He knew that in the kind of relationship that was built through the show they didn’t need a precise label on how they were. They started as mere colleague pair up in a show that might probably go until four to five months, easy, no attached, maybe a bit friendly. But she was her, a part of the extremely popular Korean girl group, she was not meant to be part of the just okay, normal kind and she had a mind that didn’t go with most people. So when he felt competitive all of a sudden, in that small ddukbokki restaurant, the sudden feeling of wanting to prove that he deserve this break, he offered her the real life.
The kind of life a beautiful, smart and down to earth girl should experience in the real, unfair world.
Five months passed, for the first time, he finally held her hand. And she subtly told everyone even to him, that she was up to this game, his game. But truthfully, he didn’t have any game or know any of it. So he tried to slow it down, her signal, the pressure, the growing inappropriate emotions for her. More months went by, they were sure of everything, the feelings, the consequences, their hearts.
He didn’t really ask her straight to the point, it just happened. Their love story happened even while they were still virtual married couple. He tried to talk her out of it, but of course, she was determined as he was.
And Yongseo couple continued even after their married counterpart ended. They carried what they learned and had in the show, used it to remind themselves how special they were, are and will be in each other’s life.
Being married like his parents would always say, is not as magical and twinkling as they thought he expects. But he doesn’t find anything hard in this new setup of his life. The large house they bought as part of their wedding preparations, waking up seeing her naturally enchanting face, learning to cook with her, doing everything with his wife.
Seeing her everyday, walking around the house with only a large shirt on sometimes, watching her act as if she was still in her parents’ house or her dorm, it makes him more than content.
And as the ray of sunlight beams against his eyes, forcing him to face another day, he unconsciously taps the left side of their bed and feels nothing but the cold sheets. He quickly props himself on his elbow, scans their room and still nothing. She doesn’t have any schedule for today as far as he could remember.
“Joohyun-ah?” He calls, walking barefoot at the hall.
“Oppa?” She calls back innocently, finally letting him see her.
She is in the middle of walking through the stairs, carrying their half-full laundry basket. He sighs, relieving himself from the sudden nervousness he feels. It has been nine months of being Seo Joohyun’s husband and he still couldn’t let her out of his sight without his permission.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You were tired. And I can do this” Her voice always lilting in his ears, begging him to just take her back inside their room to cuddle for the whole day. She smiles up at him, assuring her with her cuteness.
He shakes his head, grabbing the light basket from her hands and runs down to the first floor of her dream house. They try their best to find a lot where they could build the house she exactly told him animatedly back then. She follows him to their laundry room, looping her arms around his waist, watching him dump all their clothes inside the washing machine. He wraps an arm around her while pressing buttons at the machine before he half carries her to their kitchen.
“No breakfast yet?” He teases, seeing the empty dining table.
She always tries her best to cook them breakfast every morning. She is trying very hard all the time despite his constant reminders of just letting loose.
“Oh. I was-“ He cuts her by kissing her lips, smiling through their contact with how cute she is looking surprised with her widened eyes. But as soon as he pulls away, she comes back giving her a sweet kiss that she usually does on special occasions. Like when his band wins awards and when they get to see each other after months.
“Hmm. What’s that all about?” He asks, opening their fridge and finding a good food for them.
Joohyun casually but softly twists his head to face her, her eyes twinkling in suppressed emotion, her lips curled into a big smile. And somewhere in her excited face he concludes that she is counting in her head before she spills something.
“I love you” As always, it’s more than special and enough, every single time. “And we’re pregnant”
His blood circulation seems to literally stop flowing, his mind speaks nothing he understands, like he suddenly stops existing. He stares blankly at her, he still could not do anything at all.
“Oppa?”
*
Yonghwa clutches his chest, stupidly thinking that it might help his nervousness decrease even just for a second. But it doesn’t, he knows it, and he lets his shaking hand stay in there for a while. He scans the large ballroom where his family, relatives and friends gather and gives him a look. The kind that is perceiving, haunting, something like they are all going through his soul and checking if he is for real or not.
“We’re done” He tried to spit out the words that were breaking his heart, like how he did with papers, crumpling it, tearing it into pieces.
She looked at him, a deer that was caught in the headlights, her eyes immediately watering as if she didn’t expect it from him. “W-why?” She pretended, and he whispered curses that sixteen year old guy already knew by heart.
He debated against himself if he should surprise her about what he already knew. He had caught her red-handed, cheating on him with a college guy. It was too much, he was young, in love and terribly hurt.
He jumps from where he is standing as soon as the familiar piano piece that he made just for this day reverberates around the room. The noise halts, everyone checking their comfort on their seats, his mother looking at him from where she is, expressing tenderness and strength in her eyes.
Adjusting his suit for nth time, he gulps the tension that has been blocking his ability to talk down. His right foot would not stop stomping, he is biting a small part of his lower lip, his hands sweating even while he is rubbing it together. All the time he is able to wake up for another day, he is doing his best to live his dreams, to perfect each of his imperfections as possible as he can. And now, another part of his growing dreams is currently happening. And he somehow feels lost, unable to process what he and how he should act.
Yonghwa watched his mother, how her calm expression quickly turned into confusion, betrayal and a bit of anger, he wanted it. So much. He wanted to find his dream in Seoul, he knew that his parents already knew that all he wanted was to be a musician. A popular one, if someone would ask him.
He followed his mother stood from the couch through his eyes and steps going to the kitchen. He glanced at his father, who still had a friendly smile on his face. It was easy when it came to his father, he supported everything his two children wanted. Like how he nodded and patted his older brother’s shoulder when he announced that he wanted to study in America.
“Mother” He called, his fists curled to avoid for any more selfish reasoning.
“Have you done your assignments yet? Oh. Where are the results of your examinations?” She went back carrying a silver tray with three glasses of freshly squeezed oranges. She sat back beside his father, he had heard the slight quivering in her voice.
“Mot-“
“You can’t do that, Jung Yonghwa. I won’t let you go to Seoul all by yourself for that nonsense audition” The strictness that she only showed rarely came out, and he was scared but still determined. He wanted to prove everyone that it wasn’t just a childish thought, an impulsive part in his part.
It was his biggest dream. And he will chase it.
And finally, there she is walking with her father who, just like what she tells him, a very funny and bright person. He feels his throat caught up into something, a kind that makes him unable to breathe, his eyes stuck at the goddess walking to where he is. Everyone dissolves into nowhere, just his goddess looking dazzling and statuesque in the very same gown he picked out for her years ago. But this time, the shining beads are made of silver, handmade meticulously to fit perfectly on her, white silk full skirt that flows to the floor makes her flowing her way to him. A small tiara placed on the crown of her head, holding a white long laced flowing veil behind her.
Her milky white skin exposed in the off-shouldered gown, with the bright lights around the ballroom, giving everyone an illusion that she is glowing, like a real life angel. Her smile was eliciting perfection, happiness and contentment.
He feels someone nudges him on the back, bringing him back to the sudden noise that arises from the audience, their faces in awe with how the bride is looking elegant, out of this world magnificent, kicking the groom on the side, looking like some waiter in an expensive black suit.
“Get a grip of yourself, jerk” His brother teases with the same naughty smirk he always has.
That moment when their agency’s CEO personally asked him, Lee Jonghyun, Kang Minhyuk and Lee Jungshin to be in his office at 3.30 in the afternoon on November 23 2010. He remembered it was the first snow, signalling the arrival of winter, a season he liked since he was seven year old.
They were debuting, they were asked to record some Korean songs, telling them for the future but never giving them an assurance of anything. But they were debuting, finally. At 3.40 in that cold afternoon, CNBlue was formed.
And he was beyond ecstatic.
It is done. He finally, after six years of being together, gets Seo Joohyun, legally and for a long, long time. They have managed to maintain their relationship, away from everyone’s eyes even their members. It is hard, most of the time, but she made it worth it. Her positive mind keeps them together, alive, always craving for each other.
Jung Yonghwa finally gets then Korea’s most prime girl group’s maknae. After an hour of looking into each other’s eyes, never letting go of their hands as they listen to the minister’s words. After five minutes of pouring even just half of what they feel into their speech.
It is almost at the end of the service, few minutes before they are asked to kiss each other as husband and wife, when he feels drops of his tears on his cheek as he stares at the beauty standing in front of him. He is damn sure that she will use it as a weapon to tease him, to haunt his memory for as long as they are together but he loves her so much. So much that he could not contain how his heart is beating too much love for her, his mind reminiscing a lot of their brief secret meetings in the whole six years. Promising her that he will give her all the precious moments of dates, going anywhere she likes from now on.
“I love you” He sees her perfect red lips mouth while the minister is wrapping up the word of God. He lets her index finger wipe his right cheek, always loving her warm hand on his.
He knew that in the kind of relationship that was built through the show they didn’t need a precise label on how they were. They started as mere colleague pair up in a show that might probably go until four to five months, easy, no attached, maybe a bit friendly. But she was her, a part of the extremely popular Korean girl group, she was not meant to be part of the just okay, normal kind and she had a mind that didn’t go with most people. So when he felt competitive all of a sudden, in that small ddukbokki restaurant, the sudden feeling of wanting to prove that he deserve this break, he offered her the real life.
The kind of life a beautiful, smart and down to earth girl should experience in the real, unfair world.
Five months passed, for the first time, he finally held her hand. And she subtly told everyone even to him, that she was up to this game, his game. But truthfully, he didn’t have any game or know any of it. So he tried to slow it down, her signal, the pressure, the growing inappropriate emotions for her. More months went by, they were sure of everything, the feelings, the consequences, their hearts.
He didn’t really ask her straight to the point, it just happened. Their love story happened even while they were still virtual married couple. He tried to talk her out of it, but of course, she was determined as he was.
And Yongseo couple continued even after their married counterpart ended. They carried what they learned and had in the show, used it to remind themselves how special they were, are and will be in each other’s life.
Being married like his parents would always say, is not as magical and twinkling as they thought he expects. But he doesn’t find anything hard in this new setup of his life. The large house they bought as part of their wedding preparations, waking up seeing her naturally enchanting face, learning to cook with her, doing everything with his wife.
Seeing her everyday, walking around the house with only a large shirt on sometimes, watching her act as if she was still in her parents’ house or her dorm, it makes him more than content.
And as the ray of sunlight beams against his eyes, forcing him to face another day, he unconsciously taps the left side of their bed and feels nothing but the cold sheets. He quickly props himself on his elbow, scans their room and still nothing. She doesn’t have any schedule for today as far as he could remember.
“Joohyun-ah?” He calls, walking barefoot at the hall.
“Oppa?” She calls back innocently, finally letting him see her.
She is in the middle of walking through the stairs, carrying their half-full laundry basket. He sighs, relieving himself from the sudden nervousness he feels. It has been nine months of being Seo Joohyun’s husband and he still couldn’t let her out of his sight without his permission.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You were tired. And I can do this” Her voice always lilting in his ears, begging him to just take her back inside their room to cuddle for the whole day. She smiles up at him, assuring her with her cuteness.
He shakes his head, grabbing the light basket from her hands and runs down to the first floor of her dream house. They try their best to find a lot where they could build the house she exactly told him animatedly back then. She follows him to their laundry room, looping her arms around his waist, watching him dump all their clothes inside the washing machine. He wraps an arm around her while pressing buttons at the machine before he half carries her to their kitchen.
“No breakfast yet?” He teases, seeing the empty dining table.
She always tries her best to cook them breakfast every morning. She is trying very hard all the time despite his constant reminders of just letting loose.
“Oh. I was-“ He cuts her by kissing her lips, smiling through their contact with how cute she is looking surprised with her widened eyes. But as soon as he pulls away, she comes back giving her a sweet kiss that she usually does on special occasions. Like when his band wins awards and when they get to see each other after months.
“Hmm. What’s that all about?” He asks, opening their fridge and finding a good food for them.
Joohyun casually but softly twists his head to face her, her eyes twinkling in suppressed emotion, her lips curled into a big smile. And somewhere in her excited face he concludes that she is counting in her head before she spills something.
“I love you” As always, it’s more than special and enough, every single time. “And we’re pregnant”
His blood circulation seems to literally stop flowing, his mind speaks nothing he understands, like he suddenly stops existing. He stares blankly at her, he still could not do anything at all.
“Oppa?”