All For That
“Seo Joohyun” he randomly called while we were strolling the summer night of my dorm’s neighbourhood. Our hands met each other again, swaying with our matched steps once again.
“Jung Yonghwa” I playfully answered, my eyes watching the trees dancing with us.
We listened to the silence comfortably telling us that we were together once again, how we terribly missed seeing each other. It had been a nice journey with him. Though we always had to put more effort in contacting each other, it was all worth it.
“How’s Shinhye-unnie?”
I saw from the corner of my eyes how he glanced at me and I could feel the sudden squeeze he did to my hand. “She’s fine. Probably tired as I am” he said in a low whisper.
“Hmm” I murmured in reply.
The silence abruptly felt different for me, it suddenly became thick and almost aching, my heart beating in a nervous beat. I was sure that he had been feeling my anxiousness with how he tightened his grip with my hand. We were already at the convenience store my unnies and I loved to stay at, the workers were kind enough to forget who we were.
Without any warning, he stopped walking to pull me into his arms. He was hugging me tighter than usual, I could feel his soft breathing on my shoulder as I wrapped my heart around him. I didn’t feel like letting him go, not then, ever. That moment I felt how much love I could gather with how insecurity was eating my heart.
“We’re alright, Joohyun-ah, aren’t we?” His voice was asking for confirmation and I could feel my heart aching along with the shaking of my lips, I wasn’t sure.
I shrugged against him, my eyes admiring our surrounding. It was a dead time of the night where most people were in the midst of their dream and idols were finally experiencing their personal hours, sleeping or out with their secrets. There weren’t cars passing by the road and I could hear the peacefulness of reality.
He finally pulled himself to look at my face, his eyes searching for my hidden uncertainties. I didn’t know how I should start or if I should even bother him about it. My unnies once told me that jealousy was part of every couple’s story, that I should at least feel it for him, I was confused because I couldn’t feel jealous whenever I see him doing his job with other ladies. But the moment I realized how close he was with Shinhye even before, I felt weird with the annoying ache in my chest and the uncomfortable feeling photos and videos would give me.
I realized how he acted so comfortable with her, his playfulness looked natural as they exchanged jokes and laughter in front of the cameras. He looked at her as if telling the viewers that he was enjoying his time with her. He could be himself, no pretensions and holding back, just being the Jung Yonghwa from Busan, with her. All the time. Even from the start.
“Sometimes…” I heaved a sigh, trying to find the words from his shirt. “…sometimes I wish it isn’t Shinhye-unnie who is paired up with you right now. But most of the time, I’m thankful. It’s Shinhye-unnie, you are comfortable with her. I mean…you…”
‘It was a brave start’ I thought, hating the nervousness I was feeling.
“Continue, please”
I raised my eyes at his face for a second then back to his mole that I could see beneath the plain white shirt he was wearing. I almost shook my head in defeat, “With Shinhye-unnie, you can work easily because she’s your friend. You even said how you see her as a CNBlue member…” I was blabbering nonsense thoughts and the reddening of my face wasn’t helping at all. “-I don’t know, Oppa. I’m sorry for this. I shouldn’t really burden you with my insecurities”
He finally lifted my face, small and understanding smile greeting my restless heart. “Are we talking about this again?” It wasn’t first time I told him how I really feel about his friendship with her. He laughed at me the first time, saying how cute it was to finally see my jealous side. But all I could see as I poured my heart for him was seriousness and pure understanding of everything.
“I’m sorry”
He shook his head slowly, “I understand, Joohyun-ie. Everything. How exactly you are feeling”
“You see her every single day, do stuffs for the drama and you are so comfortable with her” I added, burying myself more in misery.
He chuckled, resting my cheek on his shoulder, caressing the back of my head with a kiss a moment after. “I see you twice a month at most. I could only give you kisses and hugs at times. But my heart is most comfortable with you, Joohyun-ie. You are the reason why I can work five days straight with a smile” I felt my heart laughed inside my chest, jumping in joy with his confirmation once again. “Do you even know how I feel whenever you picture me with Shinhye? It feels like I’m kissing Jungshin in the lips, Joohyun-ah. And believe me, you wouldn’t like that”
I smiled, “Thank you, Oppa” I let him see the yearning in my eyes as I looked at him. I have been missing him terribly the past weeks, knowing that I couldn’t visit him in his drama set despite the available time I had, it felt terrible. “I’m sorry that I won’t let you go anymore”
He groaned playfully, “Don’t steal my lines, Seo Joohyun”
“Jung Yonghwa” I playfully answered, my eyes watching the trees dancing with us.
We listened to the silence comfortably telling us that we were together once again, how we terribly missed seeing each other. It had been a nice journey with him. Though we always had to put more effort in contacting each other, it was all worth it.
“How’s Shinhye-unnie?”
I saw from the corner of my eyes how he glanced at me and I could feel the sudden squeeze he did to my hand. “She’s fine. Probably tired as I am” he said in a low whisper.
“Hmm” I murmured in reply.
The silence abruptly felt different for me, it suddenly became thick and almost aching, my heart beating in a nervous beat. I was sure that he had been feeling my anxiousness with how he tightened his grip with my hand. We were already at the convenience store my unnies and I loved to stay at, the workers were kind enough to forget who we were.
Without any warning, he stopped walking to pull me into his arms. He was hugging me tighter than usual, I could feel his soft breathing on my shoulder as I wrapped my heart around him. I didn’t feel like letting him go, not then, ever. That moment I felt how much love I could gather with how insecurity was eating my heart.
“We’re alright, Joohyun-ah, aren’t we?” His voice was asking for confirmation and I could feel my heart aching along with the shaking of my lips, I wasn’t sure.
I shrugged against him, my eyes admiring our surrounding. It was a dead time of the night where most people were in the midst of their dream and idols were finally experiencing their personal hours, sleeping or out with their secrets. There weren’t cars passing by the road and I could hear the peacefulness of reality.
He finally pulled himself to look at my face, his eyes searching for my hidden uncertainties. I didn’t know how I should start or if I should even bother him about it. My unnies once told me that jealousy was part of every couple’s story, that I should at least feel it for him, I was confused because I couldn’t feel jealous whenever I see him doing his job with other ladies. But the moment I realized how close he was with Shinhye even before, I felt weird with the annoying ache in my chest and the uncomfortable feeling photos and videos would give me.
I realized how he acted so comfortable with her, his playfulness looked natural as they exchanged jokes and laughter in front of the cameras. He looked at her as if telling the viewers that he was enjoying his time with her. He could be himself, no pretensions and holding back, just being the Jung Yonghwa from Busan, with her. All the time. Even from the start.
“Sometimes…” I heaved a sigh, trying to find the words from his shirt. “…sometimes I wish it isn’t Shinhye-unnie who is paired up with you right now. But most of the time, I’m thankful. It’s Shinhye-unnie, you are comfortable with her. I mean…you…”
‘It was a brave start’ I thought, hating the nervousness I was feeling.
“Continue, please”
I raised my eyes at his face for a second then back to his mole that I could see beneath the plain white shirt he was wearing. I almost shook my head in defeat, “With Shinhye-unnie, you can work easily because she’s your friend. You even said how you see her as a CNBlue member…” I was blabbering nonsense thoughts and the reddening of my face wasn’t helping at all. “-I don’t know, Oppa. I’m sorry for this. I shouldn’t really burden you with my insecurities”
He finally lifted my face, small and understanding smile greeting my restless heart. “Are we talking about this again?” It wasn’t first time I told him how I really feel about his friendship with her. He laughed at me the first time, saying how cute it was to finally see my jealous side. But all I could see as I poured my heart for him was seriousness and pure understanding of everything.
“I’m sorry”
He shook his head slowly, “I understand, Joohyun-ie. Everything. How exactly you are feeling”
“You see her every single day, do stuffs for the drama and you are so comfortable with her” I added, burying myself more in misery.
He chuckled, resting my cheek on his shoulder, caressing the back of my head with a kiss a moment after. “I see you twice a month at most. I could only give you kisses and hugs at times. But my heart is most comfortable with you, Joohyun-ie. You are the reason why I can work five days straight with a smile” I felt my heart laughed inside my chest, jumping in joy with his confirmation once again. “Do you even know how I feel whenever you picture me with Shinhye? It feels like I’m kissing Jungshin in the lips, Joohyun-ah. And believe me, you wouldn’t like that”
I smiled, “Thank you, Oppa” I let him see the yearning in my eyes as I looked at him. I have been missing him terribly the past weeks, knowing that I couldn’t visit him in his drama set despite the available time I had, it felt terrible. “I’m sorry that I won’t let you go anymore”
He groaned playfully, “Don’t steal my lines, Seo Joohyun”