One is the loneliest number
I returned to NUSHS yesterday. I did not expect much to happen since my initial plan was to grab the yearbook that surprisingly was released this year, and leave. There was no PC1322 lesson yesterday, and thus, I had fully expected to leave NUS by 2+. Anyways, things did not occur as I thought it would, and I ended up making my way to NUSHS with a few friends (which is always a load of fun).
The main point was that we were wandering around looking for where the choir was. Ended up on the 6th floor making our way to the seminar rooms where we thought they would be. Yep, they were there. (and I am getting terribly incoherent. Meh. I need to do this journalling thing more often).
We walked past the room, peering in as we did so. I suppose we were going to turn back when Ms M spotted us. We were promptly dragged into the room, and there was a terrible moment where I felt so awkward because... it was just weird to have your juniors greeting you. Like... what?! It was all "Good afternoon Ms M... and alumni." *awkward blush* Weird feeling there.
We settled into the chairs and basically watched/listened while they went through a new piece. Anima Christi (IDK if I got the title right) looks to be a pretty interesting piece to perform. I'm a little envious of the juniors. It would be hard work learning the piece, but gosh, lucky them!
Being back brings back a lot of memories. Sometimes I can hardly believe that it has been a year or so since I graduated. I thought I would be ecstatic to be out of NUSHS. In some ways, I am glad to be out of there and in Uni. But at times, I miss the teachers, the environment, and even CCA, something that I used to bitch about when I was in NUSHS.
I suppose what I miss most is Choir. Despite being in there for only a year, I suppose it has radically changed the way I thought about music. There is a particular joy in singing with a group that I find hard to recreate alone. I suppose it had the largest impact on me in the 6 years in NUSHS, strangely enough.
Of course, there were many things that happened throughout those 6 years that had shaped and changed who I am. I never thought that I would do Chemistry at University level. I pictured myself going into Bio, maybe forensics, when I was way younger. Then it all changed thanks to an awesome teacher and poof! here I am now.
But of all the things I missed, Choir is the one I missed most. Perhaps it is because it played a huge role in changing the way I thought about myself. I used to be terribly afraid to sing in public because... IDK. I feared performing. I still do, to a certain extent. But compared to years ago when doing aural was an utter pain because I was too paiseh to sing? This is much better.
I do suppose it was the one thing that made me feel valued. In some way, I had the impression that everyone is important, that your presence is required for each practice. I mean, how else would you know what the conductor wants from you at each bar of the music if you are not present for each session? It was the first time I felt that a CCA session was useful. Because honestly? ODAC and Art Club just weren't the things I felt comfortable in. Art Club was too big, imo. It was pathetically easy to just disappear amidst the people, especially during the later years. ODAC... well, it was fun while it lasted. But being the person who held back the group gets tiring after a while. And I do not have the 'clique' there to make me feel better about everything. So the moment I could officially leave, I left for Choir. The only thing I regretted was that I wasted a year in ODAC when I could have been in Choir. Logically, I should have picked Choir as my first choice when filling out the CCA form at the beginning of Year 5. I definitely wasn't a terribly fit person. I could run, if you ask me to. But 2.4km under 15 mins? Nah, I'm not at that standard yet. I had a music background, I didn't do all that badly for aurals in the past, which at the very least, could indicate that I am not terribly offkey when I sing. Still I picked ODAC. FML. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking about that time. Oh how things would be different if I had listened to my instincts!
But nooo I just had to prove something to myself. Sheesh.
In fact, I made so many stupid decisions when I was younger. Looking back now, I can't believe I took Jap. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't even manage Chinese, damn it.
On the bright side, at least I think I am doing something right this time and not being too insane. I mean, 6 modules is still quite an okay workload. Plus if I do get into NUSCHoir (which I honestly doubt. Seriously, I didn't get in the first time. What makes you think I could get in the second time?!), it would be a heavier workload, sure. But considering how I spend my weekdays on the computer and only study on weekends last semester and still managed to get away with a 4.2, I dare say that if I focus more this sem, I will be able to do better.
I guess, what I am trying to say in this whole entry is that, I miss you NUSHS Choir. Despite how bad we are compared to the other, more prestigious choirs, I do miss you and feel (kind of) proud to have been part of your history, if only for a little while.
and of course, I do miss the people who were part of my life in Choir and made it such an enriching and awesome experience. But that would make me seem like a sap so I'll just chuck this in small print and hope that no one reads it. But seriously, you girls/women/people/humans were just way awesome. Sheena, Christel, Ruthanne, Bernadine, Esther, Natalie I'm so glad I knew all of you, even if it is just in passing. And Weilin, Naomi, Zhi Xin, Elza, Luckyim, Quy, Mao Jia, thank you for putting up with my craziness. Gods know I'm just insane sometimes. And of course jessica_eliza and Kryssie, the two awesome nuts who are just way too awesome for me to express my love for.
The main point was that we were wandering around looking for where the choir was. Ended up on the 6th floor making our way to the seminar rooms where we thought they would be. Yep, they were there. (and I am getting terribly incoherent. Meh. I need to do this journalling thing more often).
We walked past the room, peering in as we did so. I suppose we were going to turn back when Ms M spotted us. We were promptly dragged into the room, and there was a terrible moment where I felt so awkward because... it was just weird to have your juniors greeting you. Like... what?! It was all "Good afternoon Ms M... and alumni." *awkward blush* Weird feeling there.
We settled into the chairs and basically watched/listened while they went through a new piece. Anima Christi (IDK if I got the title right) looks to be a pretty interesting piece to perform. I'm a little envious of the juniors. It would be hard work learning the piece, but gosh, lucky them!
Being back brings back a lot of memories. Sometimes I can hardly believe that it has been a year or so since I graduated. I thought I would be ecstatic to be out of NUSHS. In some ways, I am glad to be out of there and in Uni. But at times, I miss the teachers, the environment, and even CCA, something that I used to bitch about when I was in NUSHS.
I suppose what I miss most is Choir. Despite being in there for only a year, I suppose it has radically changed the way I thought about music. There is a particular joy in singing with a group that I find hard to recreate alone. I suppose it had the largest impact on me in the 6 years in NUSHS, strangely enough.
Of course, there were many things that happened throughout those 6 years that had shaped and changed who I am. I never thought that I would do Chemistry at University level. I pictured myself going into Bio, maybe forensics, when I was way younger. Then it all changed thanks to an awesome teacher and poof! here I am now.
But of all the things I missed, Choir is the one I missed most. Perhaps it is because it played a huge role in changing the way I thought about myself. I used to be terribly afraid to sing in public because... IDK. I feared performing. I still do, to a certain extent. But compared to years ago when doing aural was an utter pain because I was too paiseh to sing? This is much better.
I do suppose it was the one thing that made me feel valued. In some way, I had the impression that everyone is important, that your presence is required for each practice. I mean, how else would you know what the conductor wants from you at each bar of the music if you are not present for each session? It was the first time I felt that a CCA session was useful. Because honestly? ODAC and Art Club just weren't the things I felt comfortable in. Art Club was too big, imo. It was pathetically easy to just disappear amidst the people, especially during the later years. ODAC... well, it was fun while it lasted. But being the person who held back the group gets tiring after a while. And I do not have the 'clique' there to make me feel better about everything. So the moment I could officially leave, I left for Choir. The only thing I regretted was that I wasted a year in ODAC when I could have been in Choir. Logically, I should have picked Choir as my first choice when filling out the CCA form at the beginning of Year 5. I definitely wasn't a terribly fit person. I could run, if you ask me to. But 2.4km under 15 mins? Nah, I'm not at that standard yet. I had a music background, I didn't do all that badly for aurals in the past, which at the very least, could indicate that I am not terribly offkey when I sing. Still I picked ODAC. FML. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking about that time. Oh how things would be different if I had listened to my instincts!
But nooo I just had to prove something to myself. Sheesh.
In fact, I made so many stupid decisions when I was younger. Looking back now, I can't believe I took Jap. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't even manage Chinese, damn it.
On the bright side, at least I think I am doing something right this time and not being too insane. I mean, 6 modules is still quite an okay workload. Plus if I do get into NUSCHoir (which I honestly doubt. Seriously, I didn't get in the first time. What makes you think I could get in the second time?!), it would be a heavier workload, sure. But considering how I spend my weekdays on the computer and only study on weekends last semester and still managed to get away with a 4.2, I dare say that if I focus more this sem, I will be able to do better.
I guess, what I am trying to say in this whole entry is that, I miss you NUSHS Choir. Despite how bad we are compared to the other, more prestigious choirs, I do miss you and feel (kind of) proud to have been part of your history, if only for a little while.
and of course, I do miss the people who were part of my life in Choir and made it such an enriching and awesome experience. But that would make me seem like a sap so I'll just chuck this in small print and hope that no one reads it. But seriously, you girls/women/people/humans were just way awesome. Sheena, Christel, Ruthanne, Bernadine, Esther, Natalie I'm so glad I knew all of you, even if it is just in passing. And Weilin, Naomi, Zhi Xin, Elza, Luckyim, Quy, Mao Jia, thank you for putting up with my craziness. Gods know I'm just insane sometimes. And of course jessica_eliza and Kryssie, the two awesome nuts who are just way too awesome for me to express my love for.