brightness. really., pretext
title: brightness. really.
author: selfdemo
characters: toma, yamapi
rating: g
summary/excerpt: but what-ifs and men always go together. wondering and regret is really just innevitable.
note: for omichan92 . i know this won't appease your anger (probably) for me not finishing your request fic, but i'm working on it. promise. :) so for the mean time, have a drabble
brightness. really.
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Sometimes, when Toma hears the not-so-subtle whispers of pity and regret about his not-so-amazing career, he tends to wonder what he got himself into. He's past the age of freshness, or most seem to think so, and he knows debuting will always be just a dream. And although he's gotten over fretting about it, he can't help but wonder what could have been if he never joined Johnny's.
He had a good career then, all possibilities waiting to burst forth. It was a bright and sun-shinny world where pain was not known. But of course he had to choose JE. JE offered him greater heights, a brighter more flashy paradise. And to some degree it did gave him that. He had acted on stage time and time again, had tv appearances and had roles that made fans cheer for him.
But what-ifs and men always go together. Wondering and Regret is really just inevitable.
And so he lets himself dawdle in pity and self-loathing, immersing himself in never-had-been possibilities and should-have-been opportunities. He lets himself mull and be all dramatic and depressed.
It goes on for a little while until KY YamaPi shows up. He brandishes his ever-goofy smile and his idiotic antics. It makes him smile and light and he forgets all trace of regret and hate and settles himself at the lap of the brightness that is Yamashita Tomohisa.
Toma thinks its kind-of sad that he never got to debut, probably never will. But he's okay with that, he got to meet YamaPi and keep him anyway.
title: pretext
author: selfdemo
characters: nozawa, hasshi
rating: pg
summary/excerpt: he rides out the shouts of hate and the pounding of fists on his chest. nozawa lets him curse him and sneer at him for dear life.
pretext
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Nozawa looks at Hasshi, listens to him as he blabbers on about J.J. Express and how he'll never be able to fill up the space in his heart because those people who once filled that void were oh-so-nice and oh-so-perfect.
There is a quiver in Hasshi's voice but he continues to lash at Nozawa, of how incompetent he is compared to Takaki and how Inoo and the rest of the gang are so talented they have tons of fans, so very much unlike the failure that Nozawa is.
Nozawa doesn’t speak.
He rides out the shouts of hate and the pounding of fists on his chest. Nozawa lets him curse him and sneer at him for dear life. He waits quietly, face a mellow canvass of yellow and green, eyes reflecting a calm sea. Patiently, he waits until the last of the tide hits the shore.
I hate you.
Hasshi's voice is soft, almost inaudible. His hands are lanky as it slides down Nozawa's shirt, fisting it as it goes.
I hate you.
It's impossibly soft and it slowly chirps Nozawa's heart.
He hugs Hasshi tightly.
I'm here.
Hasshi cries after that.