(Untitled)

[whitelioncub]

Usually things don't get to me, and its been a while since I've been on here because I've been happy ad involved with other parts of my life. However, today I had to do a peer editing for my english class, and this was the paper I had to edit.
We'll just call the author Ana.

Comments

[dlgrif]

Dr. Cameron agrees that homosexuality is homosexuals are people who are “sexually adventurous or confused”

Therefore, lower incomes can reduce economic status within the homosexual community and society also as well.

According to “most writers on this subject”, they all have...

A third Another religion expressing its stand on homosexuality is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, stating their beliefs homosexually is strictly a behavior problem, their beliefs regarding homosexuality is “...as follows:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not allow any homosexual activity and immediately banishes these members from out of the church

Revise entire last paragraph, it seems rambling and opinionated.

As for me...
"I find that gay and bisexual people (who are defined by behavior) actually earn less than straight people. [...] In my own research I have found evidence that discrimination against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people reduces their incomes relative to heterosexuals..."

I hate the way he throws that out, "they actually earn less", as if it were shocking, only to give the real reason, "discrimination reduces their incomes".

I've made the proper grammatical changes as well as I could catch them, and I hope she gets a good grade from this. But by god, she is very opinionated and seems to have chosen this topic out of spite, or to reinforce her own negative view on gays. I hate it.

[whitelioncub]

*nods* you pinned the reasons why I hate it down.