The post in which I bitch. A lot (more than normal).
WARNING: I'm not in a good mood and I'm also in the mood to write and that can only mean one thing- a big ass post full of stuff that I'm gonna complain about.
So my kids were on spring break the past couple weeks. You know, God forbid they actually have spring break on the same week. Oh no, let's stretch it out into two weeks so I can't have onesinglefreakingminute alone for 18 straight days. The "good mom" side of me was all "Well, that will be fun! I can have one-on-one time with each of them for a whole week!". Every single thing I tried to do with Thing 1 did not amuse him. Lunches out, visiting Dad's office, shopping for dresses for my friend's wedding (Ok, can't blame him there)...all met with "THIS IS BORING." Fortunately for him, the tail end of his spring break was a planned visit to an indoor water park resort. Oh. Joy. Oh and did I mention I didn't get to share the excitement and fun of this trip with his dad? His dad got to stay home with the small, calm child.
The important part is that HE had fun, right? And he really did.
(THAT IS A WALL-O-CANDY!)
Me on the other hand? I did not have as much fun. Look. I try not to judge other people's appearances and such. I really do. But...there is something wrong with the general population that visits indoor water parks. I am thinking of submitting a list of rules to this place in the hopes that they will adopt them and post them and enforce them in the future:
RULES:
1. Bikinis are fun! We get it! Bikinis should also be limited to the following: adult women (Nobody wants to see your seven year-old in a thong- this is not Club Med for pedophiles) and adult women who are smaller than...let's say...a size 22. Bikinis should also be worn only if they are not bright white and therefore showing off all your business and large enough to cover your entire ass, not just *most* of your ass. We take coins in the arcade ladies, not in your rear. Cha-ching!
2. If your children are running the halls like a herd of wild elephants at all hours of the night, the grouchy lady in room 14078 reserves the right to beat the ever loving hell out of each and every last one of them until they bleed from every facial opening. (too much?)
3. If you're going to wake up at 4am to reserve your lounge chairs in the waterpark area, it is required that you at least spend 5 minutes of the day with your ass in said chair. Otherwise, you're really just hogging an entire chair for your towel all day when hundreds of people are wandering around like tired zombies looking for somewhere to sit down now aren'tcha?
Oh, I have more, but I think I will stop. Needless to say, by early in the day of day 2, this was me and that was NOT Diet Mountain Dew:
Moving on. This entire weekend was also overshadowed with some major Peyton Manning stress. I mean, major. First of all, I am a VOL. I bleed orange. That automatically makes me a Peyton fan. Secondly, I actually went to school WITH him, which makes me even more attached to him. Thirdly, I'm a Tennessee Titans fan. SO, all this hoopla about him possibly coming back to Tennessee to play for the Titans, in a nutshell, had me in a frenzy. I knew he was going to come back to us. I JUST KNEW IT. OMFG how could he not? We all LOVE him! It would be like the prodigal son returning home to his land and his people will surround him with love and fandom forever and ever and ever AMEN! Yeah sure the other teams can probably offer him much more money and a better team and blah blah blah but who cares? He's PEYTON and this is TENNESSEE and there is no freaking way he can disappoint us after all the love we have given him!
And then I started to get nervous, my thought process started to change. He should have made his decision by now. If it was Tennessee just tell us! Say to hell with everyone else I wanna go home!! Hmm. They offered him what? Their QB is talking to who? Oh no. Say it ain't so, Peyton. Come on. Just get it over with! If you're going to destroy my hopes and dreams please just do it now. It became like that relationship you're in where you know the other person is going to break up with you, but you really don't want them to so you just wait and hope you're wrong and all the while you're waiting for the bomb to drop and your heart to get stomped on. Yeah, it was like that.
Well. Anyway. It didn't happen. Money talks and 96 million dollars is kind of a lot of money and I guess the chance to knock Tim Tebow off his unworthy throne was too much to pass up. Even for the love of millions of Tennessee fans. I will never be over this. NEVER!
In other news I just made a 30-mile round trip to the liquor store to get wine because Hubs is out of town and I have to take these kids to soccer practice tonight AND a scrimmage game and one good thing about me is that I think ahead in times of need.
Well, this was just the tip of the iceberg and stuff that's over and done with anyway- I will not go into other factors that have me extremely stressed right now (Ok, I'll just mention one- my kid's birthday party which is turning out to be a disaster at every turn and it's on Saturday and I waited til the last minute to do everything and I have no help) but the good news is that I have wine now. Cheers!
So my kids were on spring break the past couple weeks. You know, God forbid they actually have spring break on the same week. Oh no, let's stretch it out into two weeks so I can't have onesinglefreakingminute alone for 18 straight days. The "good mom" side of me was all "Well, that will be fun! I can have one-on-one time with each of them for a whole week!". Every single thing I tried to do with Thing 1 did not amuse him. Lunches out, visiting Dad's office, shopping for dresses for my friend's wedding (Ok, can't blame him there)...all met with "THIS IS BORING." Fortunately for him, the tail end of his spring break was a planned visit to an indoor water park resort. Oh. Joy. Oh and did I mention I didn't get to share the excitement and fun of this trip with his dad? His dad got to stay home with the small, calm child.
The important part is that HE had fun, right? And he really did.
(THAT IS A WALL-O-CANDY!)
Me on the other hand? I did not have as much fun. Look. I try not to judge other people's appearances and such. I really do. But...there is something wrong with the general population that visits indoor water parks. I am thinking of submitting a list of rules to this place in the hopes that they will adopt them and post them and enforce them in the future:
RULES:
1. Bikinis are fun! We get it! Bikinis should also be limited to the following: adult women (Nobody wants to see your seven year-old in a thong- this is not Club Med for pedophiles) and adult women who are smaller than...let's say...a size 22. Bikinis should also be worn only if they are not bright white and therefore showing off all your business and large enough to cover your entire ass, not just *most* of your ass. We take coins in the arcade ladies, not in your rear. Cha-ching!
2. If your children are running the halls like a herd of wild elephants at all hours of the night, the grouchy lady in room 14078 reserves the right to beat the ever loving hell out of each and every last one of them until they bleed from every facial opening. (too much?)
3. If you're going to wake up at 4am to reserve your lounge chairs in the waterpark area, it is required that you at least spend 5 minutes of the day with your ass in said chair. Otherwise, you're really just hogging an entire chair for your towel all day when hundreds of people are wandering around like tired zombies looking for somewhere to sit down now aren'tcha?
Oh, I have more, but I think I will stop. Needless to say, by early in the day of day 2, this was me and that was NOT Diet Mountain Dew:
Moving on. This entire weekend was also overshadowed with some major Peyton Manning stress. I mean, major. First of all, I am a VOL. I bleed orange. That automatically makes me a Peyton fan. Secondly, I actually went to school WITH him, which makes me even more attached to him. Thirdly, I'm a Tennessee Titans fan. SO, all this hoopla about him possibly coming back to Tennessee to play for the Titans, in a nutshell, had me in a frenzy. I knew he was going to come back to us. I JUST KNEW IT. OMFG how could he not? We all LOVE him! It would be like the prodigal son returning home to his land and his people will surround him with love and fandom forever and ever and ever AMEN! Yeah sure the other teams can probably offer him much more money and a better team and blah blah blah but who cares? He's PEYTON and this is TENNESSEE and there is no freaking way he can disappoint us after all the love we have given him!
And then I started to get nervous, my thought process started to change. He should have made his decision by now. If it was Tennessee just tell us! Say to hell with everyone else I wanna go home!! Hmm. They offered him what? Their QB is talking to who? Oh no. Say it ain't so, Peyton. Come on. Just get it over with! If you're going to destroy my hopes and dreams please just do it now. It became like that relationship you're in where you know the other person is going to break up with you, but you really don't want them to so you just wait and hope you're wrong and all the while you're waiting for the bomb to drop and your heart to get stomped on. Yeah, it was like that.
Well. Anyway. It didn't happen. Money talks and 96 million dollars is kind of a lot of money and I guess the chance to knock Tim Tebow off his unworthy throne was too much to pass up. Even for the love of millions of Tennessee fans. I will never be over this. NEVER!
In other news I just made a 30-mile round trip to the liquor store to get wine because Hubs is out of town and I have to take these kids to soccer practice tonight AND a scrimmage game and one good thing about me is that I think ahead in times of need.
Well, this was just the tip of the iceberg and stuff that's over and done with anyway- I will not go into other factors that have me extremely stressed right now (Ok, I'll just mention one- my kid's birthday party which is turning out to be a disaster at every turn and it's on Saturday and I waited til the last minute to do everything and I have no help) but the good news is that I have wine now. Cheers!