Campaign ads for McCain
Am I the only person who thinks that these extramarital affair allegations are going to help McCain's candidacy? The whole problem with him that a lot of people seem to have is that he is too old (71) to be president. I think he's too crazy to be president, but I am not exactly the sample electorate here. By comparison, Reagan was 68 when he was elected and it's pretty obvious that he was having some serious problems with his mental acuity. I think that the rumors that he may have been screwing around with a woman 30 years his junior might allay the fears that he is too old to hold the highest office in the land. I can see the campaign commercial now....
(Opens with the most fetching picture of Vicki Iseman available. Slow zoom to cleavage)
(VO)
Look at this woman. Pretty nice eh?
(Picture of John McCain giving a thumbs up)
John McCain hit it. Barack Obama is faithful to his wife...
(black and white pic of Obama. Ominous music)
But John McCain is a total poon hound. His record is clear and consistant: John McCain gets more tang than an astronaut...
(New pic of McCain, one with him and a woman)
..and he's 71 years old.
(Another pic, McCain and wife)
That's right, one woman isn't enough for this stud.
(Slow-mo pic of McCain speaking in front of an American flag. Opening riff to 'Bust A Move')
John McCain for President: America's going to get some.
(New pic, John sitting in a presidential study or some kind)
John McCain: he's like your Grandpa, but don't sit in his lap
(record needle skipping sound)
Cause he's got a huge boner right now.
(paid for by John McCain for president)
"I'm John McCain and I approve this message"
(Camera pans out and you can clearly see his hand resting on the head of a blonde woman. Fellatio is implied.)
(Opens with the most fetching picture of Vicki Iseman available. Slow zoom to cleavage)
(VO)
Look at this woman. Pretty nice eh?
(Picture of John McCain giving a thumbs up)
John McCain hit it. Barack Obama is faithful to his wife...
(black and white pic of Obama. Ominous music)
But John McCain is a total poon hound. His record is clear and consistant: John McCain gets more tang than an astronaut...
(New pic of McCain, one with him and a woman)
..and he's 71 years old.
(Another pic, McCain and wife)
That's right, one woman isn't enough for this stud.
(Slow-mo pic of McCain speaking in front of an American flag. Opening riff to 'Bust A Move')
John McCain for President: America's going to get some.
(New pic, John sitting in a presidential study or some kind)
John McCain: he's like your Grandpa, but don't sit in his lap
(record needle skipping sound)
Cause he's got a huge boner right now.
(paid for by John McCain for president)
"I'm John McCain and I approve this message"
(Camera pans out and you can clearly see his hand resting on the head of a blonde woman. Fellatio is implied.)