Her Beloved Soul
The full moon illuminated the small room casting its eerier glow on the one lone figure that occupied it. Curled into a large black leather chair with her knees pulled to her chest Andy's shoulders shook as unwavering sorrow rolled down her flushed cheeks. It had been two unbelievably long years since she had last seen her beloved but still the pain refused to fade.The cuts that were sliced so deep across a beating heart still wept for her. When would this go away? Will this ever go away? Truth be told, she really didn't want the pain to fade or the wounds to heal. No she wanted to be reminded of her. She remembers when her grandmother died, how everyone wept in anguish but within a month's time everyone seemed to forget that she even existed. She would not, could not, forget her like that. Miranda. How she longed to touch her, hear her, smell her sweet scent just once more. Why did she have to leave her? Why did that man have to get on the road after drinking so much? The questions swirled but like always no answers came.
Merely the sound of your voice
Made me believe that that you were her
Just like the river disturbs
My inner peace
"Andy?" a voice cut through the darkness like a razor's edge causing Andy's head to snap up and just for a minute, one glorious minute she could swear it was her. Eyelids squinted as pupils tried vain to adjust to the gloom. "Mira.. She shook her head manically. No No No it couldn't be her. Miranda was gone. Gone forever she added swallowing against the tightness in her throat. "Andy" the voice called out once more and the silhouette moved closer.
Once I believed I could find
Just a trace of her beloved soul
Once I believed she was all
Then she smothered my believes
"Caroline?" she manged to croak out, wincing at the just how rough it sounded.
"Yes" The younger woman confirmed moving forward once again until she was standing directly in front of Andrea. "Andrea, please look at me." Caroline softly pleaded. When the older woman refused, Caroline carefully reached down and cupping her finely shaped chin in a warm hand. She gently lifted Andrea's head. She waited patiently until those whiskey colored eyes, her mother feel in love with all those years ago, stared directly into hers then spoke. "Talk to me." Andy heard the words but she could not for the life of her form a single word.
"Talk to me" Caroline repeated running her thump back and forth over Andy's chin. "Please."
One cold winter's night
I may follow her voice to the river
Leave me now and forever
Leave while you can
"I...I" Andy tried but came up short. Her eyes scanned over the younger woman. From the shape of the forehead to the pair of striking sapphires peering downward upon her face, all Andy could see was her. Pain slammed into an already broken heart. Mentally, she cursed the Gods themselves for agitating fresh wounds and ripping open old ones. She turned her gaze elsewhere knowing that even a mere glimpse at the younger woman now would only cause more agony.
"Andrea?"
At the sound of her full name brows scrunched up and a mouth twisted in anger "Don't call me that!"
Well manicured nails slightly dug into soft skin. "Why do you do keep doing this to yourself? Do you think you're the only one who feels the pain? Do you think you're the only one who has lost her!?" The last part was practically screamed through bared teeth.
Chocolate eyes hardened into a shield of onyx and she jerked her head out of the younger woman's grasp. "Leave!"
"I will not! Not until I can get through to you."
Andy jolted up, pushing the younger woman out of the way, she swiftly made her way to the window. Not wanting to look at at the other woman any longer she crossed her arms and peered out into the night. Noticing, that although the moon still shown in the distance she could just make out the dark edges of storm clouds approaching. "I said leave."
Ignoring her Caroline raged onward. "Did you forget about who else was lost? In all your selfishness did you forget about Cassidy because she was in that car too you know!"
Pain and anguish wash over Andy like rancid honey. Eye lids closed tightly in a vain attempt to block out the words but quickly reopened when hauntingly familiar faces flashed across her mind and suddenly she felt ashamed. In all her grief she had forgotten she had unknowing put Cassidy on a back burner. Violently she spun away from the window."Why can't you just leave me alone!" Andrea screamed, punching the nearby wall with all her strength. "Can't you see I just want to be left alone." she pleaded, her voice now a broken whisper.
Cautiously, Caroline approached the broken woman like one would do frightened animal.
Somewhere in time I will find you and haunt you again
Like the wind sweeps the earth
Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend
You've fallen deep
Those haunted blue orbs scanned over the brunette then reached out and took the throbbing hand into her own soft warm one. "Andy, you have to move on.You can not keep living like this." Andy opened her mouth then closed it, swallowing against the large lump forming deep within her throat. "I can't! Not without her."
Caroline let out a ragged breath. "She would want you to move on."
I was a liar in every debate
I rule the forces that fueled your hate
When the cold in my heart leaves, it comes to an end
And quietly I'll go to sleep
She knew what the younger woman said was true. She had to move on but how could she. Miranda was her love, her heart, her everything. She simply could not move on with out her.
How could that first time recur
When memories linger on and on
What made me think you were her
Helena is dead to all
dead to all
Andy closed her eyes as memories from the past flashed through her mind like a horror movie. The first time they met, their first date, the first time they made love, their wedding, and then that horrible day when Miranda smiled kissed her cheek goodbye for the last time.
Miranda's thin pink lips tugged upward into a smile and she leaned forward, kissing Andy's cheek. "Goodbye my darling try not to get into too much trouble." She gently teased receiving an exaggerated sigh in return. "I'll try"
"See that you do." Andy snorted lightly at Miranda's office voice then glanced towards the spiraling staircase. "Come along Cassidy we're going to be late."
"I'm coming I'm coming!" The red headed woman yelled barreling down the stairs like a wounded buffalo. Miranda rolled her eyes at her daughter childlike behavior. "Must you do that?"
Cassidy's face remained deadpanned. "What?" Miranda just shook her head and sighed in defeat while Andy chuckled in amusement. "Never mind we' re already late." With that the older woman walked out of the house leaving the two women alone. Cassidy gave Andy a crooked smile then hugged her tightly. "Bye Andy! Don't fret about Mother, she'll be flying straight back after she's done kicking my ass out at the University." she said pulling out of the hug.
Andy laughed at her stepdaughter's language which was only used when certain someone was out of ear shot. "I'm sure she will now you better hurry up before she comes backs and drags you out."
Cassidy rolled her eyes heavenward, strolling towards the door. "Bye Andy and please take care of Mother and Caroline for me." Andy smiled brightly "Don't I always." Cassidy didn't say anything back but gave her a wide smile.
And just like that they were gone. Police showed up two hours later informing her that her beloved was gone along with Cassidy. Gods! had she just stopped her and made her stay she would be alive in her arms.
Nothing can bring her to life
Don't pretend that I'll be loving you
Once I believed she was gone
I corrupted from within
At that very thought she felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her in an tight embrace and for the second time that night she thought she had her Miranda back. Andy nuzzled the other woman's neck, breathing in her calming scent. "Why did you leave me Miranda?" she whispered so low that Caroline barley heard her. "Shh Andrea it's me Caroline." Andy pushed her away a little and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Caroline?"
"Yes Andy its me remember."
The older woman blinked rapidly nodding her head in acknowledgement. Andy raked her hand through slightly greasy hair. "God what is wrong with me!?" she cried out embedding sharp nails deep within the skin of her scape.
"Hey stop that." Gentle hands reached up and gripped hers.
"I..I just wish I could feel anything but pain."
Caroline shifted her gaze towards the window and sighed. "I just want to feel anything else just once. I'm so tired of the numbness. Some.." She let out a ragged breath and swallowed thickly. " Sometimes I wish I could feel the pain once again. Anything but this. I feel as though I'm submerged in a tank full of ice water with no way out and I just keep clawing towards the surface but all I get is pushed down farther, into the cold, into the darkness."
Dull lifeless brown orbs moved back to meet pleading gray ones and suddenly the two realized just how close they were. Breaths mingling with one another, one smelling of scotch, the other; of wine, tickling each others mouths. Slowly, as if pulled by some sort of invisible force their heads moved closer and closer to each other. Before the two could stop themselves full lips met pink thin ones in a sweet bitter kiss.
Rapidly the kiss deepened becoming rougher and more demanding. Tongue slid against tongue in a sensual last dance. Breathing became heavy, the lips reluctantly pulled away from each other to inhale some much needed air. Forehead pressed against forehead as Snow picked the older woman up and carefully placed her on the window seal.
Back tightly laid against the cool glass; long coltish legs wrapped themselves around the younger woman's waist.
A hand ghosted its way from the brunette's face to the to the hem of her pajama pants. With one swift move it made its way inside cotton panties to the hot wetness just underneath and with one quick movement two fingers were forcefully pushed inside. Andy moaned as shots of pleasure mixed with sweet pain coursed through her body chasing away the anguish and sorrow causing her back to arch into a hunter's bow. Hearing the older woman's moan, Caroline began to slowly thrust in and out and after a few minutes the pace picked up into a rough pounding motion. Back painfully hitting the window, Andy barley noticed the deep tingling sensation of an climax rising within. Eyes lids slipped tightly shut as memories flashed behind them of mussed silvery white hair, roaming fingers, and a low voice whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
Then finally the raging sea hit it's peak and crashed, wave upon wave of pleasure washed over her body. Cleansing it, reviving it "Miranda!"
Leave leave me for now and forever
Leave what you can
After her rapidly beating heart calmed and the pulsating between two trembling thighs ceased Andy felt guilt's poisonous tentacles begin to creep within her; prying away all the joy and love she just felt away. Gods what had she done. Tears trailed agonizingly slow paths down twisted features "Go!"
Caroline didn't say a word just wrapped her arms around the brunette and hung onto the shaking form while she broke down.
Somewhere in time I will find you and haunt you again
Like the wind sweeps the earth
Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend
You've fallen deep
Arms wrapped around each other, the two woman huddled in the darkness, absorbing what warmth their bodies cast off. Yes, they knew it was wrong but neither one of them dared to acknowledge it because just for one night Andy had her back and just for one night Caroline felt again. In the silence they could hear the muffled rumbling of thunder and cracking of dry lightning of the up coming storm signaling the change, the beginning, and more importantly the end.
I was a liar in every debate
I rule the forces that fueled your hate
When the cold in my heart leaves, it comes to an end
Quietly now go to sleep
END
AN: Wrote this while having an excruciating toothache(Getting it extracted on the 31st) until then I shall look like a chipmunk.. so pretty please be nice