I can feel it in the rotting air tonight
I just realized that nicotine alone gets me halfway to that enlightened feeling. and I'm not sure what that means. and I'm not really happy with life right now, but I'm not really unhappy either, and I know that you just have to stay alive long enough to transcend living. it seems really easy, which is how I know I'm doing something wrong. when I feel like this all I really want to do is create, even if it's just creating conversation, creating connections that weren't there before, creating cryptic streams of words and cramming them into bottles and tossing them into the ocean. but where did the bottles come from? and is there one big enough for me to fit inside of?