(no subject)
Everything is kind of hazy right now... I'm trying to fix things. My relationship with my family. Work ethic. My other.... problems. I'm trying pretty hard to think before I act. It's not easy to do. I'm taking things into account I normally don't, to keep things from being stressful for everyone. Personally, I care about myself here. I'm seeing the stress and tension I've been causing, so I'll fake it. I have a lot of pull in this family, I've found. I can manipulate my mother and father easily enough. Of course, I'm going to continue to do this to make things easier on myself, and I suppose, on everyone else as well, instead of making things worse. Do as my mother asks, go out of my way to make her life easier. She reciprocates. I stand up for my sister, make my mother understanding, she'll back off and be nice. Easing tension. All I have to do is act like I'm apologetic for doing things wrong in work, and my father sees it in a positive light. I wake up and go to work on time, go above and beyond, he is less stressed. That in turn lightens the mood by him not taking out anything on my family or having that tension in the air. Gifts lighten the mood. Making small talk. Doing favors. Being a seemingly nice and gentle human being who is compassionate and understanding.
Granted, most of this isn't sincere.
Its just the mask I have on. I'll hide my wry smirk, apathetic eyes, and sharp tongue.
Granted, most of this isn't sincere.
Its just the mask I have on. I'll hide my wry smirk, apathetic eyes, and sharp tongue.