*sigh*

[whiteblade]

So I submitted a short story I wrote recently to Coq and Bull, which is a site that accepts short fiction, and has a little contest every quarter, with the winners and a few other stories they deem worthy published in their online newsletter. I received an email thanking me for my submission and was told that I'd be informed if I was considered for publication or one of the top slots, and they would also email me if my story wasn't picked up but was close enough to merit advice from the editor. Never did hear back from them. Today I looked at their site and noted the new issue was out. That's fair, I thought; most people probably don't get published the first time they ever send anything out. Out of curiosity I decided to read the 1st prize winner, "Bliss," just to see what I'd been beaten out by. And it is fucking drivel. It's worthless. The verb tenses don't agree in the first couple of pages, the grammar throughout is an atrocity ("You too Lina," he stood there awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to do with his hands for some reason."), there are more hilarious adverbs than you can shake a stick at (icily, nonsensically, smoky as it refers to a brunette- used TWICE, and a great double, not overly encouragingly), the prose is purple beyond imagining ("He was with her already in a tangle of sheets and legs, crying beautifully and softly about the naked pain of life while they sated each other,") and it contains what I believe to be the most facepalm-worthy line in all of literature. Ready? Here goes: "Facebook- the ultimate maimer of eternity."

Well, you know what? Fuck those guys. If they think that shit is good enough to win 1st place, but my story doesn't even merit an explanation of why it was rejected, then I'm submitting my story somewhere that has some kind of functional bullshit detector.