Havent really felt like posting...
I have had a rough last couple of days....
First I have been sooo stressed out with trying to take on so much at school by taking four classes that I decided to drop my theatre class.
Then I took my dad to the Dr yesterday, to find out that his cancer has come back and now the doctor wants to give him chemo. He doesnt want it. I really am apprehensive aout it also b/c I dont want to make him sicker than he already is. All his cell counts are back where they were last Sept when he was diagnosed. *sigh*
This means that w/o treatment that he will only get worse. His ankles have been swollen and he can't get around as well as he could even 4 or 5 months ago. I am afraid to talk to my older siblings for fear they will want to put him in a nursing home. I dont want to do that and I cant take care of him by myself, esp, when he gets sicker. And its inevitible that w/o treatment that he will get worse.
But I dont have anyone to help me. I cant just give up college and my family to take care of him. I mean its not like I dont care or anything, its just that I have come a long way and I want to once in my life finish what I started.
I love my dad, but this is not only for me, but for my family and so we can have a better life...
To top it all off, my Dad needs to replace his whole heating/air conditioning system. Its not putting out cool air and its got to be fixed, but I dont even know if he can afford to shell out $2500-$3000 to get it fixed. He doesnt have much money left and Im afraid hes going to run out of money and wont be able to pay his mortgage.
I wish I could find him somewhere that he could live out the rest of his days and wouldnt have to shell out money everytime he turns around. I have advertised his house for sale on the internet, but so far no potential buyers.
Hes going to court next Wed. He may lose his liscense. I swear, if not for bad luck, this man would have no luck at all. He goes tomorrow morning for an echocardiogram and Im going with him. The Dr wants to check and see how strong his heart is in case he decides to take the chemo. Chemo sometimes makes the heart weak and if it already is weak, it will make it worse. *sigh* More later.....
First I have been sooo stressed out with trying to take on so much at school by taking four classes that I decided to drop my theatre class.
Then I took my dad to the Dr yesterday, to find out that his cancer has come back and now the doctor wants to give him chemo. He doesnt want it. I really am apprehensive aout it also b/c I dont want to make him sicker than he already is. All his cell counts are back where they were last Sept when he was diagnosed. *sigh*
This means that w/o treatment that he will only get worse. His ankles have been swollen and he can't get around as well as he could even 4 or 5 months ago. I am afraid to talk to my older siblings for fear they will want to put him in a nursing home. I dont want to do that and I cant take care of him by myself, esp, when he gets sicker. And its inevitible that w/o treatment that he will get worse.
But I dont have anyone to help me. I cant just give up college and my family to take care of him. I mean its not like I dont care or anything, its just that I have come a long way and I want to once in my life finish what I started.
I love my dad, but this is not only for me, but for my family and so we can have a better life...
To top it all off, my Dad needs to replace his whole heating/air conditioning system. Its not putting out cool air and its got to be fixed, but I dont even know if he can afford to shell out $2500-$3000 to get it fixed. He doesnt have much money left and Im afraid hes going to run out of money and wont be able to pay his mortgage.
I wish I could find him somewhere that he could live out the rest of his days and wouldnt have to shell out money everytime he turns around. I have advertised his house for sale on the internet, but so far no potential buyers.
Hes going to court next Wed. He may lose his liscense. I swear, if not for bad luck, this man would have no luck at all. He goes tomorrow morning for an echocardiogram and Im going with him. The Dr wants to check and see how strong his heart is in case he decides to take the chemo. Chemo sometimes makes the heart weak and if it already is weak, it will make it worse. *sigh* More later.....