Big Question: Can anything really be Penultimate? Dennis Miller style RANT.
So I was looking for a better thesaurus than the one at dictionary.com today, and I found a page where they also had this great word quiz. You have to match one obscure long difficult word with its obscure difficult synonym. Of course I fell in love at "cynatium," the first word I saw. Anyway, they had the word penultimate there. At the end of the quiz, they tell you the definitions, and I found out that I was mistaken about penultimate. I thought it meant "the very best" or "the very most fitting" or the "very most" whatever. But actually it means "the next to very most" whatever.
So of course the dorkageekanerd in me could not stop thinking about the philosophy and implications of the word penultimate. I mean, can any of us say we have had a penultimate experience, much less an ultimate one, in our lives, ever? I guess we can say about the Lord of the Rings trilogy that one of them is ultimate and another is penultimate, but that's not the type of stuff I'm talking about. And anyway, I think The Hobbit is ultimate, and that's not even part of the trilogy! I'm talking about things like creme brulee. I love creme brulee. And I've said a couple of times in my life "this is the ultimate creme brulee." But really, it was just the ultimate creme brulee that I'd ever had up til that point. I mean, ten minutes later, someone could out of the blue give me a creme brulee that is twice as good.
And really, it is more confusing than that.
I've had three children and I'm not having any more. I spayed my damned self; I'm just too fertile. A sperm could jump off the nasty-ass dirty sidewalk, from some flasher pervert serial killer, and it would land directly on one of my eggs, turn into a gamete, and then I'd be pregnant with a half-serial killer flashing baby. But that's off topic. I say I've had three kids, but really, I've had five kind of births. I had a miscarriage in 2002, and then much earlier I had an abortion after a rape. (don't even jump all over me about the abortion. been there, done that, get a new topic to beat a dead horse with) So do I count those? Also, I've was present at my sister's birth of her son Logan. I actually saw him before she did. Only the doctor got a better view. And then, I was at the hospital for my friend Lynne's first child, and on the phone several times with several of my best friends. How to judge? And with what paramaters? I mean, I could say that, for me, my own ultimate childbirth was my eldest daughter's, because it was not a C-section, and it was my first, and it was all very special. But then again, the abortion was positive in ways that I cannot even fathom. I feel that having that child would have brought a psychotic monster into my family for life. For. Life. No telling what he would have done, and to tell the truth, I think he might have killed me if I had not terminated the pregnancy. Seriously. Plus, the idea of having that . . . I don't even know what to call him . . . sociopath is a good word, around my family, the father of my CHILD???? my whole life is horrifying, and there would be no getting around it. And then, there is something else to consider. Pregnancy and childbirth generally SUCKS. When MY kids have kids, I won't have to deal with any of that shit. And it will be my beloved children having my grandchildren. I can't even imagine how freaking awesome that is. So will that be the ultimate? Which one will be the penultimate? What if I live to see my great grandchildren born? Where does truth end and opinion begin? Is there truth? I always tell my students that there is a "range of truth," but is that just bullshit to make them and myselves feel better? I'm no relativist, but really, who among us has had enough experience to talk about the big truths in life. We can't; that's why we rely on books and previous knowledge to help back up our arguments. So does that mean I need a Works Cited when I finally decide that I've had the ultimate creme brulee? That's just kooky! Does it also mean that I should never have another one, other than the ultimate one, in my whole life, because if I found one even better than the creme brulee I just had, then my head might explode, and having penultimate or lesser creme brulee just seems like a waste of taste buds. And I'm only talking dessert here. What aobut when we start talking about big things, like movies (just kidding), I mean capital punishment. Or globalization: is it good or evil? Is there even an ultimate authority on these things yet? And if we wait , and the answer is that globalization is evil, will it then be too late? God knows it is too late for capital punishment, but we just keep on murdering them anyway, even when it has been "ultimately" proven that capital punishment doesn't accomplish any of the things it purports to do (except to serve as revenge).
So then, why even think about what is ultimate and what is not since it seems to inform so little in the real world other than my restaurant choice? Is this all we can hope for? I mean, look at McCain's vice-presidential choice. Could he have chosen anyone worse? I guess he could have dug up Strom Thurmond, reanimated him, and chosen him, but we just don't have the technology for that yet.
How in the world can the world "ultimate," in the sense I'm using it here, make any sense when you get down to it, down to the messy chaotic theoretical vs. practical level of it. You can't. I guess post-humously. Maybe I could make a list of what were the ultimate and penultimate things in my life, if I don't have Alzheimer's. If I have Alzheimer's, I suppose I'll fill in the word "pudding" for ultimate and "spongebath" for penultimate. What if for some reaason I decide to get off my ass and publish some shit? Then who decides what my ultimate and penultimate (or worst and next to worst) works are? I mean, I make lists like that for my favorite authors now. I do it for Stephen King, but I have to remember he isn't done writing yet. But when people have croaked, others are always saying "XXX is Van Gogh's most important (i.e., ultimate) work." or "Geurnica is Picasso's ultimate work." I guess most people would agree with that. But would he? Who knows?
And after death, who even cares what I thought? I won't be around. I don't even believe in life after death; I mean, I give it a possibility of a chance, but I seriously doubt it. The only spiritual thing I ever experienced was watching Paulo Freire talk. That dude was Christ-like man. The conference he was at was violent and full of cynical people. But the minute he walked on stage, everyone turned into a vessel for his love. We were all in awe of his . . . well, his soul. What makes a person like that? The only way I could describe it, and the way I DO describe it is that his soul was on the highest possible level before one enters Nirvana. I don't even know where I got that from. It just seemed right. All I know is that what happened in that room wasn't normal. And it wasn't hypnosis. It was . . . weird . . . and wonderful, beyond wonderful. Perhaps it was the ultimate experience of my life. I mean, in my 12-step programs, I use Paulo as my higher power because he is the only spiritual experience I have ever had, and he was certainly on a higher ethical and moral level than anyone I've ever met. Possibily MILLIONS of times higher than my own parents, that's for SURE. But can I say that meeting him is the ultimate experience in my life? I can only say it is the ultimate experience in my life so far, and that I can't imagine anything more important ever happening.
But it could. It might. Maybe it will.
hahahahahahahaha!
Anyway, thoughts? And, while we're at it, let's do a little test: tell me: What was Shakespeare's ultimate piece of writing? Or, if you haven't read Shakespeare, then what was the ultimate book you have read so far?
What is the ultimate movie you have seen? The penultimate? The worst? The second to worst?
What is the penultimate word on what to teach our children about sex in high school? Give me your best, most informed answer.
So of course the dorkageekanerd in me could not stop thinking about the philosophy and implications of the word penultimate. I mean, can any of us say we have had a penultimate experience, much less an ultimate one, in our lives, ever? I guess we can say about the Lord of the Rings trilogy that one of them is ultimate and another is penultimate, but that's not the type of stuff I'm talking about. And anyway, I think The Hobbit is ultimate, and that's not even part of the trilogy! I'm talking about things like creme brulee. I love creme brulee. And I've said a couple of times in my life "this is the ultimate creme brulee." But really, it was just the ultimate creme brulee that I'd ever had up til that point. I mean, ten minutes later, someone could out of the blue give me a creme brulee that is twice as good.
And really, it is more confusing than that.
I've had three children and I'm not having any more. I spayed my damned self; I'm just too fertile. A sperm could jump off the nasty-ass dirty sidewalk, from some flasher pervert serial killer, and it would land directly on one of my eggs, turn into a gamete, and then I'd be pregnant with a half-serial killer flashing baby. But that's off topic. I say I've had three kids, but really, I've had five kind of births. I had a miscarriage in 2002, and then much earlier I had an abortion after a rape. (don't even jump all over me about the abortion. been there, done that, get a new topic to beat a dead horse with) So do I count those? Also, I've was present at my sister's birth of her son Logan. I actually saw him before she did. Only the doctor got a better view. And then, I was at the hospital for my friend Lynne's first child, and on the phone several times with several of my best friends. How to judge? And with what paramaters? I mean, I could say that, for me, my own ultimate childbirth was my eldest daughter's, because it was not a C-section, and it was my first, and it was all very special. But then again, the abortion was positive in ways that I cannot even fathom. I feel that having that child would have brought a psychotic monster into my family for life. For. Life. No telling what he would have done, and to tell the truth, I think he might have killed me if I had not terminated the pregnancy. Seriously. Plus, the idea of having that . . . I don't even know what to call him . . . sociopath is a good word, around my family, the father of my CHILD???? my whole life is horrifying, and there would be no getting around it. And then, there is something else to consider. Pregnancy and childbirth generally SUCKS. When MY kids have kids, I won't have to deal with any of that shit. And it will be my beloved children having my grandchildren. I can't even imagine how freaking awesome that is. So will that be the ultimate? Which one will be the penultimate? What if I live to see my great grandchildren born? Where does truth end and opinion begin? Is there truth? I always tell my students that there is a "range of truth," but is that just bullshit to make them and myselves feel better? I'm no relativist, but really, who among us has had enough experience to talk about the big truths in life. We can't; that's why we rely on books and previous knowledge to help back up our arguments. So does that mean I need a Works Cited when I finally decide that I've had the ultimate creme brulee? That's just kooky! Does it also mean that I should never have another one, other than the ultimate one, in my whole life, because if I found one even better than the creme brulee I just had, then my head might explode, and having penultimate or lesser creme brulee just seems like a waste of taste buds. And I'm only talking dessert here. What aobut when we start talking about big things, like movies (just kidding), I mean capital punishment. Or globalization: is it good or evil? Is there even an ultimate authority on these things yet? And if we wait , and the answer is that globalization is evil, will it then be too late? God knows it is too late for capital punishment, but we just keep on murdering them anyway, even when it has been "ultimately" proven that capital punishment doesn't accomplish any of the things it purports to do (except to serve as revenge).
So then, why even think about what is ultimate and what is not since it seems to inform so little in the real world other than my restaurant choice? Is this all we can hope for? I mean, look at McCain's vice-presidential choice. Could he have chosen anyone worse? I guess he could have dug up Strom Thurmond, reanimated him, and chosen him, but we just don't have the technology for that yet.
How in the world can the world "ultimate," in the sense I'm using it here, make any sense when you get down to it, down to the messy chaotic theoretical vs. practical level of it. You can't. I guess post-humously. Maybe I could make a list of what were the ultimate and penultimate things in my life, if I don't have Alzheimer's. If I have Alzheimer's, I suppose I'll fill in the word "pudding" for ultimate and "spongebath" for penultimate. What if for some reaason I decide to get off my ass and publish some shit? Then who decides what my ultimate and penultimate (or worst and next to worst) works are? I mean, I make lists like that for my favorite authors now. I do it for Stephen King, but I have to remember he isn't done writing yet. But when people have croaked, others are always saying "XXX is Van Gogh's most important (i.e., ultimate) work." or "Geurnica is Picasso's ultimate work." I guess most people would agree with that. But would he? Who knows?
And after death, who even cares what I thought? I won't be around. I don't even believe in life after death; I mean, I give it a possibility of a chance, but I seriously doubt it. The only spiritual thing I ever experienced was watching Paulo Freire talk. That dude was Christ-like man. The conference he was at was violent and full of cynical people. But the minute he walked on stage, everyone turned into a vessel for his love. We were all in awe of his . . . well, his soul. What makes a person like that? The only way I could describe it, and the way I DO describe it is that his soul was on the highest possible level before one enters Nirvana. I don't even know where I got that from. It just seemed right. All I know is that what happened in that room wasn't normal. And it wasn't hypnosis. It was . . . weird . . . and wonderful, beyond wonderful. Perhaps it was the ultimate experience of my life. I mean, in my 12-step programs, I use Paulo as my higher power because he is the only spiritual experience I have ever had, and he was certainly on a higher ethical and moral level than anyone I've ever met. Possibily MILLIONS of times higher than my own parents, that's for SURE. But can I say that meeting him is the ultimate experience in my life? I can only say it is the ultimate experience in my life so far, and that I can't imagine anything more important ever happening.
But it could. It might. Maybe it will.
hahahahahahahaha!
Anyway, thoughts? And, while we're at it, let's do a little test: tell me: What was Shakespeare's ultimate piece of writing? Or, if you haven't read Shakespeare, then what was the ultimate book you have read so far?
What is the ultimate movie you have seen? The penultimate? The worst? The second to worst?
What is the penultimate word on what to teach our children about sex in high school? Give me your best, most informed answer.